Comfort
by Andrian1
Summary: She had meant to leave him alone, as he sat there. But when she heard him crying she had wanted only to comfort
1. Comfort

Comfort

AN/ I do not lay claim to any of the characters in this fiction.  They belong to someone else. Also there is a slight warning for those who judge harshly on age and what is right or wrong.   It is a story dealing with emotions, which are ageless. OoTP spoilers.

****

Comfort-**1** **:** to give strength and hope to **: 2** **:** to ease the grief or trouble of 

Untangling herself from the sheets for the third time in the last hour, Hermione sighed and sat up in her small bed.  Ginny lay sound asleep in the bed next to hers, a soft little snore erupting from her.  Deciding it was useless to try to sleep any longer, Hermione pulled on her house robe, stuck her feet in a pair of fuzzy slippers, and padded softly from the room.

The dark corridor seemed more ominous than it did in the daytime, though even then it seemed always shadowed, with things moving in the corners.  Hermione quickly walked to the stairs and headed down to the underground kitchen, thinking a glass of warm milk would help her to sleep.

A soft warm glow shone from under the door to the kitchen and she wondered if someone had left the light on as she pushed it open, the door creaking slightly.  

The long, once elegant table was still littered with dishes and glasses from several hours ago, when the group at number twelve Grimmauld Place had celebrated Harry's birthday. Or rather tried to.  The boy had been totally desponded.  Hermione couldn't blame him.  The previous months had been ones of despair and death and being back in the Order's headquarters did little to help him.  Harry had even joked that he would have preferred staying at the Dursleys, though she didn't think he was joking at all.

One person sat at the far end of the table. Remus Lupin, his head in his hands, a nearly empty bottle of whiskey in front of him. His soft brown hair, streaked with gray, tumbled around his hands and face, glistening in the light from the lamp on the table.  He hadn't noticed her arrival and Hermione thought at first to leave him to his solitude when she heard an unmistakable sound.  He was crying.

Her heart went out to the man, knowing that his grief stemmed from the loss of Sirius.  It had only been a couple of weeks and being here, in the Black manor, had been heart wrenching for her and she could only imagine his pain, for she knew he stayed here all the time working for the Order.

She walked gingerly towards him, not sure what to say but not wanting to leave him alone.  "Remus?"  The name felt strange on her lips.  He had been Professor Lupin in her third year and using his surname now seemed too formal.

Remus' head jerked up at the sound of his name.  He squinted at her a moment, trying to register who had just spoken as the whiskey clouded his vision and thought process. Wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, he saw the girl standing there with a concerned look on her face.

"Ah, Hermione," he said, his words slurring slightly. "Come to crash my little foray into stupor by reminding me that it isn't very mature to try to numb your problems?"

Hermione blinked her eyes in surprise.  He expected her to berate him for drinking.  She hadn't even thought about that, the man could do as he pleased and if anyone had a right to drown his sorrows it was Remus.

"No, if you want to drink that is your business," she said, sitting down in the chair next to him.  "I just wondered if you are alright."

"Right as rain.  You know me, old stoic Lupin. Care for a drink?" he asked, picking up the bottle and trying to pour the liquid into the glass in front of him.  He missed the glass entirely and the whiskey splashed on the table. 

"Shh," he said, putting his finger to his lips, "don't tell Molly, but I do believe I have just made a mess."

"You are drunk," she teased lightly as she picked up a discarded napkin and wiped up the spilled liquor.

"Damn straight.  Normally don't touch the stuff," he gestured towards the bottle, "but it was a 'special' occasion.  A pity part for me, myself and I. Care to join me?" he asked with a bitter laugh.

Hermione's heart went out to him.  He had lost so much, not only his last friend of his childhood, but being ostracized from society because of his lycanthropy.  "Remus, I cannot tell you how sorry I am…"

"Save it Hermione," he said sharply.  "Everyone keeps telling me they are sorry, that they know how I must feel.  Bollocks!  Nobody knows how I 'feel'."  

"I didn't mean to be condescending…"

"No one does.  They just cannot handle seeing old faithful Lupin falling apart. Remember, I am the one that keeps it together, the sensible one, the one that was always pulling the reins on Sirius and James.  Didn't do a very good job of it that night did I?" He groaned and put his head in his hands once more.  "I should have never let him come with me, I should have put my foot down.  But no.  I am pathetic, always wanting to please, wanting everyone to be happy.  It's my own bloody fault…"

"No it isn't," Hermione said, her tone firm.  "Sirius couldn't stand being here, not helping.  You couldn't have stopped him no matter what you said to him, not with Harry being in danger.  If it is anyone's fault then it's…" She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand.   

"Harry's?" he asked softly, looking at her, noting the horrified expression on her face.  Remus shook his head, running his hand through his hair.  "Don't be so hard on yourself Hermione. You are not the first one to think that way."

"It's not fair to think that," Hermione said chagrined.  "Harry didn't know. He thought he had a true vision.  He is grieving so much…"

Remus stood, his face a mixture of grief and anger.  Snarling, he picked up the bottle and flung it at the fireplace.  "Damn it!  I am the one who has the right to grieve.  No one, not Harry, no one, knew Sirius like I did.  No one knew his thoughts and desires, his fears, his needs.  Don't you understand? I loved him."

Hermione flinched at the look of anguish on Remus' face. Going over to him, she placed a hand on his arm. "Of course you did and you are right, if anyone has a right to grieve you do Remus," she murmured softly. " I only wish I could help you through your pain."

He turned to look at her, his eyes searching hers.  "I feel so damn alone," he muttered, a catch in his voice.  "Always alone."

"Everyone here cares for you," she said firmly as he hung his head, shaking it in protest.  "No one can replace Sirius, but we do care and love you."

"That's a dangerous thing." He was looking at her again, his eyes haunted.  "Everyone I love, who has loved me, has a nasty habit of dying," he said bitterly.

Hermione's voice was soothing as she touched his cheek. "I think I can say that is a chance I don't mind taking." She desperately wanted to ease his pain. He was such a noble, kind person, and she couldn't bear to see him like this.

Remus touched her hand, pulling it down to his mouth where he placed a soft kiss in her palm. Hermione felt her stomach tighten as his eyes met hers.  His soft gray eyes were now dark, filled with smoke and fire.  Instinctively she knew what he was about to do, but it still caught her off guard as he released her hand, wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him.  His mouth found hers and he kissed her roughly, bruising her lips with the intensity. 

Hermione grasped at his robes to keep from falling as he continued to kiss her, parting her mouth with his tongue and stroking hers.  

Though she was a bit afraid, she began to return his kiss, tangling her tongue with his as her hands left his robes and moved up to encircle his neck. Her mind was racing with conflicting thoughts as she felt her body awaken to him, a warm flood filling her stomach, the warmth spreading to lower regions. 

Remus' lips were everywhere on her face, raining kisses on her cheeks, her eyelids, her nose.  A small part of her wanted to protest, to stop him, yet a larger part wanted the embrace, to let him touch and kiss, to make contact with her. 'Just to let him no that someone cares' she thought vaguely, though she couldn't deny the fire spreading through her as his lips found hers once more.  

His hands untied her robe and slipped in to caress her through her thin nightgown.  He caressed her back then moved down to her buttocks, kneading her, as he pulled her tightly against his body.  Hermione gasped as she felt his arousal pressed against her belly.

"I need you," he murmured urgently, desperately, in her ear, his breath hot and wet.  

Hermione knew that he would never react this way, clinging to her in such a desperate need for touch and reassurance, had he not been drinking, had he not been in such sorrow.  Still she couldn't bring herself to push him away.   "I am not going anywhere Remus," she said gently, though her voice broke as another wave of fear and uncertainty flooded her mind.

Remus waved his wand and the thin rag rug before the hearth transformed into a thick downy comforter.  He pulled her down with him, kissing her as he pushed her back against it. 

Fingers fumbled with the buttons of her gown as he opened the garment. His mouth moved from hers laying soft fluttery kisses down her neck, her collarbone and into the valley between her small breasts. 

His mouth found her breast, then her nipple as he suckled gently, pulling and teasing until it was erect and hard, while his hand cupped the other one, caressing it.  

Hermione stroked his hair, knowing there would be no turning back now.  He needed this, her, and she would not reject him, though she had never imagined giving herself for the first time to a man that needed comfort. Somehow it seemed more right than waiting until she was in the throes of lust with a boyfriend. 

The woman in her knew that this would be life giving to him. The act as old as time, earthy, natural, comforting, she reasoned with herself, as she felt him pushing her gown up to her hips, removing her knickers, his finger dipping down to the nexus between her legs. She closed her eyes, trying to still the anxiety of her racing heart as her body reacted to his touch.

She was not aware that he had open his own robes until she felt the heat from his firm body pressed against hers. Her eyes were still shut and she trembled as she felt his hard arousal brush against her thighs as he parted her legs with his.  

Her body tensed as she felt him press against her folds, slipping a little in.  Hermione had read enough to know that this wasn't going to be pleasant, though some of the Muggle romance novels she had read always had the woman reaching the throes of ecstasy her first time with a man.  It wasn't sensible to believe this and she opted for the more medical description of coupling the first time, pain, discomfort and do not expect much more than that unless your lover was very considerate.  _This will almost be worth it_, she thought hazily, get it out of the way so her next encounter, whenever and with whoever that might be, could continue the delicious, sensual feelings that Remus' kissing and stroking had stirred in her. 

She felt him press in deeper, her body protesting at the intrusion in a mixture of passion and pain.  Remus gripped her hips and pulled back, then plunged hard into her.

Hermione bit her lip, trying to stifle the cry, but still a small gasp of pain escaped as tears filled her eyes.  Remus' head jerked as he heard her, his mind sobering, realizing for the first time who was beneath him, thinking she had just been a delicious dream.  _My gods, what the bloody hell had he done?_ He looked at her, feelings of guilt and shame flooding over him.  Her eyes were bright with tears, yet he saw only honesty, concern.  

She saw it in his eyes, recognition at what was going on at last.  There was no point of stopping now, none what so ever.  What was done was done and she still wanted to let him have this.  Reaching up she stroked his cheek before reaching behind his neck pulling him down to her, kissing him as she pressed her body against his, moving her hips.

Remus felt her movements as she kissed him and he shuddered as he felt the fire course through his veins once more, desire pushing away his sudden surge of doubt. He returned her kiss hungrily, parting her mouth.  Stroking her tongue with his, his hips began moving slowly, pressing into her deeply.  Breaking the kiss he fumbled with his robes looking at her intently, his eyes smoky.  Pulling out his wand he moved it between them, placing it on her lower abdomen as he murmured a succession of spells.  

Hermione watched him curiously, though her mind was focused more on the soft, caressing movements going on in her inner body, the pain lessening, being replaced with a pleasant tingling, as Remus had not stopped his rotation of his hips against her while he cast the spells.   She vaguely recognized the contraceptus spell he cast, however the other one she could not comprehend as he repeated it three times.

A ripple went through her and she gasped, as the nerves that were already alive with the sexual stimulation seemed to magnify tenfold.   Removing his wand, he brought his mouth down on hers passionately as his hands went down to her legs, lifting them as he placed them around his waist.  

Hermione moaned against his mouth as he drove deeper into her, the sensitivity of her sex feeling like molten lava to her.  She could feel her tight, silken walls engulfing his hard member and how good it felt… and then through her hazy mind, that was assaulted with building desire as he moved more intensely within her, she realized that she was experiencing Remus' feelings and the sensations in his body as well as her own. 

She was the one sucking on her lower lip, it was her manhood buried deep inside of her, the hands that caressed her shoulders, the hips that thrust faster and harder into her…the mouth that sucked and nipped at her neck, tasting the metallic drops that flickered across her/his tongue…her voice mingled with his as she murmured her name against her own ear like a soft prayer…and she was Hermione, gasping, making little whimpering sounds as she arched her hips to meet his, clenching at his shoulders as she felt an exquisite building within her that built and throbbed until she heard herself moaning his name as she felt the pressure explode… 

…and she was him feeling the walls of her sex clamp tightly on his manhood, warm wetness engulfing him/her and she was him as she felt the tightening in his scrotum, shouting her own name as he spilled deep within her.

Trembling, Remus kissed her gently tasting the sweetness of her mouth, the whiskey from his own, as he too shared the exchange of sensations. Slowly he rolled off her, groping for his wand.  

He studied her a moment wondering again what the hell had he just done.  She looked so beautiful, so young, lying there.  Her eyes were still bright from the passion as she looked at him, a soft smile on her face. 

His voice was barely a whisper as he used his wand to clean her, removing the blood and semen from her thighs.  She stifled a small laugh of embarrassment as she found this more intimate than what they had just shared. 

Sitting up he pulled her to him, lifting her to sit in his lap as he straightened her gown. Burying his face in her neck, he tried to stifle the tremor in his voice.  "Forgive me."

He felt her hands in his hair as she tugged his face up.  Looking into his eyes she spoke softly.  "There is nothing to forgive.  I wanted to comfort you, though I had not imagined this," her cheeks flushed, "but still, I do not regret it." She raised her chin, daring him to contradict her.

Remus gave a small laugh, though it came out more of a sob as he pressed his forehead against hers.  "Then I must thank you, for you indeed offer me more comfort than I deserved."  _And I took more than you would dare offer._

Kissing her lightly, he held her close as she rested her head on his shoulder.  

Remus closed his eyes as the turmoil in his soul quieted.  He would never tell her what he had done, selfishly done. He had cast the _Anima Uigumus._ Perhaps it would have been easier to just to submit to the death that had awaited him than to torment his spirit again.

Fifteen years had taken its toil, had almost brought him to the point of death.  He wondered how long he could last this time.

****

Anima Uigumus-soul bonding


	2. Desperation

Comfort

Part II

Desperation** 1** **:** loss of hope and surrender to despair **2** **:** a state of hopelessness leading to rashness

****

Remus sat on the rug before the hearth holding Hermione, listening to her soft breathing as she slept.  Studying her face, he cringed inwardly once more as he realized how young she truly was. 

 It was easy to forget at times that she was only fifteen.  She acted more like an adult, especially since the incident at the Ministry of Magic, not that it hadn't aged all the teenagers living under the roof of Twelve Grimmauld Place. 

Harry always seemed pensive and brooding now though Remus couldn't blame him. He had lost so much and faced losing more, especially those he cared.  It was the price of war, the death and destruction.  Still, Harry lacked the maturity that the sleeping girl in his arms had.  

She was sensible, stoic, yet had never given into the despair that Remus had seen reflected in her eyes at times.  Hermione was a solid anchor for Harry, and the boy had better be damn grateful that he had such a solid support.  Even Minerva had told him if Harry ignored everyone around him he would still listen to Hermione.

_'Hermione'_.  Her name had slid off his tongue like a prayer as he had made love to her a few hours ago.  And she had been an answer to a prayer, though it was a prayer of selfishness, of desperation, of mistakes.  His mistake of casting the Anima Uigumus once again.

It had only been desperation that had brought Remus to a place that he had cast it, like he had on Sirius many years ago.

****

Seventeen years ago…

Remus' eyes opened and he flinched at the light that flowed into them, feeling as if it were scorching his brain.  His mouth felt as if it were filled with bits of dry leaves and he tried to remember if this was time of the full moon.

"He's awake Albus." Remus heard a familiar voice say.  

Dark sapphire blue eyes looked into Remus' gray ones, relief clear in them. "Bout time you came back to us Moony." 

"Pad…foot," Remus choked out, his throat constricting. "What happened?"

"Remus my boy," Albus' face came into vision as he too leaned in to look at him. Remus noted the look of concern in the man's eyes.  "Truly glad you have awakened."

"Awakened?"

"You have been unconscious for three bloody weeks now," Sirius said huskily.

Three weeks?  What was he doing three weeks ago?

Remus groaned and put his face in his hands.  "It would seem I was a complete failure at my first mission.  What happened?" He looked up to see Dumbledore and Sirius exchanging dark looks.  "What?  Did I do something to jeopardize the Order?"

"No," Albus said kindly, patting the young man's hand.  "I think this can wait till you are stronger."

"I want to know," Remus said, a feeling of foreboding creeping up his spine. "What happened?"

"Very well," Albus said, sitting down on the corner of the bed, while Sirius sat next to Remus taking Remus' hand and holding it tightly. "I can only tell you what I suspect happen from what we know about your malady and what the menajere told me."

"Malady?" Remus looked questioningly at Sirius, who only shook his head.

"As you remember you were on your way to Romania where you were to meet with members of a clan of gramada vrajitoares to enlist their assistance in this war we fight.  Though outcast from society they are powerful magical women with ancient ways and knowledge."

Remus nodded, a frown line creasing his brow.  He couldn't recall if he had made it there or not.

"Apparently you were successful in your mission," Albus smiled, " for we received word from the menajere of the clan within hours after you left.  They agreed to help."

"Well that is something," Remus said with a dry laugh.  His head hurt terribly as he tried to remember.

"More than something my boy.  Voldemort would have sought them out.  I am very pleased that you persuaded them to our cause."

"Your silver tongue at work, Moony," Sirius teased, though his eyes were somber.

"However when you did not return Remus I was most concerned for I knew it was only a few days before the full moon and I sent Phoenix members to search for you.  It seemed you disappeared off the face of the earth.

"I can only speculate what happened to you from the reports given to us the clan.  They were the ones to find you, almost dead, floating in a stream seven days later. "

Sirius gripped Remus' hand tighter and he saw the man's eyes grow bright.

"The maenajere told me there was a man, a wizard, that lived in the Carpathian Mountains in a place called `the evil valley' who was more dead than alive and many assumed had died as no one had seen him in decades.  She however, believed him to be alive, especially when a young man or woman would be found like you floating in the stream, though unlike you they were dead, their bodies withered, their mouths opened in a silent scream, like someone had sucked their very souls from their bodies."

Albus paused, his bright blue eyes staring intently into Remus'.  Remus swallowed and shrugged his shoulders.  "If that is true, perhaps my soul was too tainted to interest him," he said with a small smile.

"If it is true, and I do believe it is," Albus said softly, "for there are dark incantations that steal the soul and the description of the bodies points to a particular spell, the Animus Ereptor.  It is used to prolong the caster's life, to drain the essence from another.  It is not a quick spell and takes many weeks as the victim slowly dies from the loss of their essence.  Nor does it give the caster the lasting benefits he so desperately wants. No matter how young the victim is the results are the same.  Only one day for each year the victim would have lived."

The look Albus gave Remus made him want to crawl beneath the covers and pretend this was a bad dream.  "For each year the victim would have lived," Remus echoed softly, his voice quivering.  His lycanthropy made him almost immortal through the regenerative powers it invoked.  He could live for several hundred years, perhaps even a thousand.

Sirius hung his head, his grip on Remus' hand deathly tight, threatening to cut off the circulation.

"I can only guess that this wizard captured you Remus, to be his next victim.  However as he probably needed several days to prepare, you changed into a werewolf while in his prison and he knew.  He knew that you were the answer to what he sought for so long."

Remus felt like he was about to vomit, "Then why did he let me go?"

" I do not think he let you go," Albus said,  "You were bruised, with many scratches and deep cuts on your body.  None of the other victims were like this.  They were untouched.  I believe you found a way to escape."

"Well then, that's that," Remus said brightly.  "If he stole part of my essence it will be replaced, you know, because of the regener…." His words froze as he saw Albus' solemn face.  

"If were only that simple," he sighed.  " The spell will continue to work no matter the distance between the victim and the caster.

"How much time do I have?" Remus asked quietly.

Albus looked very tired. "I cannot answer that.  What I do know is the spell can only be cast every fifteen days.  It is a taxing ritual and the caster must regain strength to do so.  When evoked the spell can only steal up to ten years at a time from the victim."  He gave Remus a sympathetic look.

"Bugger me," Remus said, understanding the implications.  Though he knew his regenerative powers were not that fast to restore ten years of life back to him, it would however keep him alive for a long time, allowing the bastard to drain him for years.

"So that's it then," he said resolutely.  "I just allow this wizard to drain me dry and fade into oblivion.  Pity.  I suppose I will be a nuisance as I will be incapacitated most of the time."

"Moony!" Sirius snarled, looking at Remus, tears in his eyes.  "Don't talk that way!  I will find the son of a bitch and tear him from limb to limb!"

"Sirius," Albus said sternly. "You know we tried to find this man.  The clan promised they would search but warned us not to get our hopes up.  The wizard is more lich than human, able to travel in the shadow realm, evading detection."

"Well then," Remus said brightly, a small smile on his lips. "Don't suppose either of you would have a silver dagger or a noose handy?  Could thwart his plans…" Both men glared at Remus. "Only joking."

"Don't," Sirius said, his voice tight.  

Albus stood up.  "I do not want to get your hopes up Remus, but there may be a way to stop this.  I have several people looking into it."

Remus nodded, too tired to speak.  Albus gave him a smile. "Rest.  I will tell the others you are awake, they will be pleased, especially James and Lily.  Sirius are you staying?"

Sirius nodded.  Albus patted Sirius' shoulder and left.

Remus looked at the man sitting beside him.  "Don't be so downhearted Padfoot," he said fondly, ruffling Sirius hair.  "If anyone can find an answer Albus will."

Crawling into the small bed, Sirius laid his head on Remus' shoulder.  Remus held him while he cried.

****

Several days later Remus had finally been able to rejoin the group at the Order's headquarters.  They had just finished a meeting and he, James and Sirius were discussing finer points of the mission that James was to go on.

Sirius looked at Remus sympathetically.  The mission was originally Remus' and he knew the Remus was feeling like useless baggage. 

James stopped talking as he noticed Remus starting to sway. "Are you okay Moony?  You are positively gray around the mouth." 

James' concerned face seemed to be wavering in front of him. "I think so." Remus began to sweat as waves of nausea flowed over him.  His vision blurred more and he reached out to grab the table but missed.

"Remus!" He vaguely heard Sirius shout as Remus clutched as his chest, his heart feeling as if was going to explode.

****

A week later Albus met with the two men with an answer, though it was a dark answer.

"The Anima Uigumus is a spell created on the basis of a spirit-bonding spell that has been used for many centuries in marriage ceremonies.  This spell however was symbolic more than anything, for it allowed the couple to be more sensitive to each other during lovemaking.  

"The Anima Uigumus however allows the recipient to feel everything the other is experiencing, be it pain or pleasure, as their souls interchanged.  It was deemed too powerful, too destructive and was banned from use."

"Interchanged?"

"You will give part of your soul to another.  They will be able to keep the magic at bay from the Animus Ereptor, to stop the one using it from stealing the essence from you."

Remus gave a dry laugh.  "That sounds horrible Albus.  Surely it is not possible."

"It is.  But I must warn you it is not something to be done lightly.  The spell is irreversible and there is no breaking the bond once it is created, except by death. Albus' face was grave as he continued.  "And because of the bond, when one of the recipients dies, the other will soon follow as part of the soul will forever be lost."

"Albus you are speaking of dark magic," Remus said.  "I will not resort to that."

Sirius took Remus' hand, his dark eyes bright as he looked into Remus'.  "You can and you will Moony," he said a tremor in his voice.  "You heard what Albus told us.  Because of your curse you will not die quickly.  Can you live with this bastard stealing your essence month after month, leaving you little more than an invalid?"

"If I must," Remus said wearily.  

"Well I cant!  And I will be damned if I let that martyr attitude of yours win.  You will agree to this and I will be your recipient. I would die without you anyways," Sirius finished, his voice softening.

_Anima Uigumus.  Exchanging a part of each person's soul and upon death the other would eventually succumb to death, as it no longer had access to its own soul._

 In the end Remus had agreed, casting the Anima Uigumus on Sirius though he would not allow Sirius to cast the spell on him.  He couldn't bear the thought that Sirius would feel the pain Remus went through when he transformed into the beast each month.  No one deserved that hell.

Albus had found a small loophole.  Remus could cast the spell on Sirius, giving Sirius part of his soul and taking a small part of Sirius' soul to fill the empty spot. However Sirius would be safe from death if he did not repeat the spell.  Only Remus would be in jeopardy of dying that way.  When and if Sirius died…

****

Remus sighed heavily.  At least Hermione would not face that, for she had only been the recipient of the spell as Sirius had been.  Should he die, she would experience pain, as the part of his soul would be ripped from her, yet baring any dark magic that would perhaps trap it, the part of her soul he had would return to her.

Though he would be able to feel her no matter what the distance, she would not be able to feel his emotions unless they were touching.  Like they were now. 

_Like he had Sirius._

She had been willing.  When he had last sobered enough to realize what he had done, had taken the virginity of a young girl whom he had the utmost respect, he had seen it in her eyes.  She had told him that she was willing to anything, anything at all to help him, to comfort him.

In a daze of remorse, in desperation, he had cast the spell. 

Hermione lay there trying to quieten her racing heart. Her mind raced as she tried to sort out what she had just 'heard' through her heart.  Remus shifted so that he could look down at her and his eyes widened in fear as she asked him with a trembling voice, "What exactly is the Anima Uigumus?"

****

Anima Uigumus-soul bond

Animus Ereptor -soul stealer

(Romanian) gramada vrajitoares-mountain witches

(Romanian) menajere-matron


	3. Revelation

Comfort Part III

Revelation-**a**: an act of revealing to view or making known **b**: something that is revealed; _especially_: an enlightening or astonishing disclosure

"What did you say?"  Remus asked in shock.

Hermione looked at him, fear in her eyes.  "The Anima Uigumus.  What is it Remus?  I heard…no I guess I felt…" her eyes brightened, her face full of concern. "You were dying, a dark spell, Sirius…"

Remus opened his mouth. She couldn't have.

"Please, it is okay.  Whatever it was.  I just want to know…"

"Hermione, you…can't." A noise outside the door made them both jump. "Molly," Remus said urgently, as they got up.  Remus waved his wand at the mess on the table and floor and dishes flew into the sink, as the broken bottle was swept into the ashbin. "We will speak later, alright," he told her softly as Molly opened the door.

"Remus, Hermione?  Good morning." Molly told them as she bustled into he kitchen.  "Wasn't expecting anyone this early."

"I couldn't sleep," Hermione said, trying to make her voice sound normal.  Her heart was still beating fast and she felt Remus' echoing hers. 

Molly tutted. "Seems there is a lot of that going around these days." She looked sharply at Remus.  "I think Remus never sleeps and it's beginning to show dear."  

Remus chuckled, going over to the stove to put a pot of water on. "Ah, well, if I can't get by on good looks then I will just have to charm my way through life."  His voice was light and teasing, but Hermione still felt the underlying anxiety he had.

Soon the kitchen was buzzing as the dishes began washing and bacon sizzled in the pan.  A fresh tablecloth was spread and the dishes set.  Molly looked at Hermione and pursed her lips. "You might want to get dressed child," she told her.  "You never know who may show up."

"Yes, of course," Hermione said blushing. She had forgotten she was still in her nightclothes.  She looked at Remus who nodded his eyes telling her that he would speak to her later.  

&&&

Hermione waited patiently for Remus all day, the minutes passing like hours, the hours like days.  If it was not for the fact that she could 'feel' him, the anxiety, remorse that he carried like a heavy sack on his shoulders, she might have been persuaded to put it to the back of her mind.  Instead she found herself pacing the floor in the room she shared with Ginny.

She wished she could have gone to the library, to research the spell.  It was one thing to know what it was called, it was quite another to know what it did.  Soul bond.  Simple enough to interrupt the words, though she had never came across the spell in her studies. 

"Hermione."  Hermione jumped, her body twitching as Ginny spoke her name.  She hadn't been aware that someone had entered the room.  "What is the matter with you?  You are as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rockers."

"Just having an odd day."

"Well, I suppose we all do from time to time.  The meeting has just let out. Here." She thrust a note out.  "Lupin asked me to give this to you."

Taking the note, Hermione's hand trembled slightly as she unfolded it. "You do have the case of the jitters today," Ginny said sympathetically.  "Would you like me to get you some tea or something?"

Hermione scanned the note. "No thank you.  I have something I need to discuss with Remus."

"Oh?" Ginny cocked her head. "Wouldn't mind sharing would you?"

"Sorry." Hermione shook her head.  "I can't, not right now."

"Fine," Ginny said as she flopped on the bed.  "I am getting use to being left out of all the excitement."

"It's not like that Ginny," Hermione assured her.  "It is about a spell I was curious about."

Ginny gave her a look 'right'.

Sighing, Hermione left the room, her heart racing as she went downstairs.

&&&

"I …cast the Anima Uigumus Albus."

Albus looked sharply at the man sitting across from him in the small study, then nodded.  "I suspected it would come to this now that Sirius is dead.  You found a willing person then?"

Remus swallowed hard and adverted his eyes. "Yes and no.  They were willing but had no idea what I had done."

"Remus Lupin!  Are you telling me you used that magic on an unsuspecting person?""

"Afraid so." His shoulders slumped.  Forgive me."

"I am not the one that you should ask forgiveness from."

"I know. But there is something more."  Remus looked Albus in the eye.  "The spell seems to have been reciprocated."

"How?" Albus asked weakly. "If they were unaware that you were casting the spell…" A look of understanding crossed his face. "Remus," he said his voice soft, "you need to tell me exactly what you were doing when you cast this spell."

"Sir?"

"What were you and this 'other' person engaged in?"

Remus flushed. "Well…we were…."

Shaking his head, Albus looked at Remus sadly. "You were in the act of intimacy with this person.  And it was a woman."  Remus nodded, looking at him quizzically.  "It would only work if you were with a female, that is why I knew you and Sirius were safe from this happening."

"I am confused."

"The bonding son," Albus said. "Although young people will deny it, when one engages in love making spirits are shared, given to each other.  It is a deep spiritual act and one not to be taken lightly.  When you cast the spell your spirits were already joined thus the spell reacted on both of you."

Remus paled and had to put his face down between his knees as the nausea overwhelmed him. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Remus, you must tell the woman what has happened, so she can be prepared.  She will be able to feel your emotions, your pain, everything."

Raising his head, Remus felt worse than the lowest scum.  "Dear Merlin Albus.  You will never be able to trust me again. I am so very sorry."

He felt the hand squeeze his shoulder.  "You will always have my confidence Remus.  I realize that this was done in desperation.  Surely this woman will adjust, if she loves you."

"That's just it Albus, it is not that kind of relationship."

"A prostitute?" Albus sounded shocked.

Remus gave a bitter laugh. "That would be the best scenario, but no. It was Hermione Granger."

&&&

Hermione sat in the small room listening to the explanation that Remus had given her.  Dumbledore had taken over and filled in the parts when Remus became overwhelmed, the knot in his throat stealing his words.

Sitting there, she looked at the two men in disbelief, her heart pounding loudly in her chest. When at last they were finished they looked at her waiting.

"I…well, I… don't know what to say," she said timidly, her eyes looking at Remus for strength.  He tried to give her a small smile.

"I realize this is a tremendous thing to deal with Hermione," Albus said gently.  "Think about it and do not hesitate if you have any questions or need to talk about it."

"Thank you sir," her throat felt hot.  I am bonded to Remus, to share his feelings, emotions everything with him?  It was overwhelming.

Remus felt her anxiety and fear, cursing himself for causing it. He looked at her with his heart in his eyes, begging her to forgive him.

Albus cleared his throat and they both looked at him. "Hermione, I am sure you would like to talk to Remus alone.  All I can say is this, he knows what he did was wrong, beyond casting the spell, and though I do not condone what has happened, I understand.  I trust you will be able to deal with this for you are an intelligent, mature young woman."

"Yes sir."

"And Remus, remember no matter how mature Hermione may seem she is still a child."

Remus blinked.  Surely Albus did not think he would take advantage of her again, though the spell would make their feelings for each other magnified.  He wasn't even sure what feelings she had for him or he for her.

After Albus had left, they sat in silence listening to each other's breathing.  Remus finally broke the silence. "I cannot ask you for forgiveness Hermione," he said softly.  "I do not deserve it.  But believe me, I am sorry and would give anything to change what has happened."

"Remus." The words slipped slowly off her tongue. "There is nothing to forgive. Honest."

Swallowing hard, Remus looked at her. "You do not realize what is in store…"

"Perhaps not, but I have a good idea.  I felt you all day Remus, the turmoil, the torment you have put yourself through." She hugged herself.  "It was horrible, I wanted…I wanted so desperately just to find you, to tell you it was okay…" she looked at him shyly, "and to wrap my arms around you."

"And I felt your fear, the anxiety of the unknown.  I wanted to take that from you, to replace it with peace," he said softly. "Hermione you must be aware that these feelings we share they will…" he blushed, "Well, it would seem that we are closer than what we truly are.  We are not lovers, not in love, but it will be hard to acknowledge that when we will feel each other so intimately from this spell."

He felt her hurt before the look crossed her face as she bit on her lip. "Of course.  I understand."

"Damn, I said that badly didn't I?  Hermione, I love you, as I do Harry, Ron, Ginny.  Do you understand?"

"Its alright Remus, I can separate loving someone from being in love, though I haven't had any experience with the latter." She gave him a small smile.

"Hermione…"

"Please don't tell me you are sorry again.  I cannot stand it."

"Very well. It will be like this while we are close, feeling each others emotions, sometimes even our thoughts.  Distance will help."

"Distance?"

"Yes.  For example," he leaned over and placed his hand over hers, "when we touch, we can feel everything the other is experiencing. When we are apart it lessens.  After you return to school you will not experience what you are now.  Only extreme emotional responses…" he sighed, "such as when I turn into a werewolf."

She looked at him, feeling his apprehension. "Oh. Is it very painful?"

"I am afraid it is.  Hermione, I would spare you this if I could.  That is why I never allowed Sirius to cast the spell on me.  I couldn't bear the thought of another having to go through that and yet I have sentenced you to the hell."

Hermione lifted her chin and Remus smiled at the resolute look on her face.  He could feel her determination that she wouldn't let it get to her. Opening his mouth to dissuade that notion, he thought better of it.  No use worrying her about that now, she had enough to think on. "It is late and perhaps we should call it a night," he suggested gently.

"Yes," she agreed. Remus felt the surge of fear and uncertainty flowing through her once more as she got up to leave.

"Hermione," he placed his hand on her shoulder, willing himself to remain calm, "I will try to stay away from here as much as possible the next month, to make it easier on you.  All I can suggest tonight though is maybe a hot bath," he grimaced, "and I would say a drink though I fear that is what started all of this."

She brushed his cheek softly with the tips of her fingers, giving him a small smile before she left.  'I am a damn bloody fool,' Remus thought, plopping back down on the chair and putting his head in his hands.  He knew he was going to have to stay calm for her sake when he was beneath this roof.  But how does one stay calm when you have just damned an innocent soul?


	4. Acceptance

AN/ Thank you for all the lovely reviews and I am glad that a few people are coming around to the HG/RL pairing. Big hugs and cocoa to April for betaing this chapter  
  
Comfort Part IV  
  
Acceptance-a : to endure without protest or reaction b : to regard as proper, normal, or inevitable c : to recognize as true  
  
&&&  
  
Entering the kitchen, she saw Arthur and Molly chatting quietly having a cup of cocoa. "Hermione dear, why are you still up?" Molly asked with a concerned look on her face.  
  
"Just heading up. I don't suppose I could get a glass of Grammy's Cure- All?" she asked with a faint blush as she saw Arthur smile into his cup.  
  
Giving her a sympathetic look, Molly told her it would take just a second.  
  
Grammy's cure all was a concoction for cramps and menstrual pain which she had been introduced to while staying at the Burrow. The cure was nothing more than a liberal shot of firewhiskey in a glass of warm apple juice, with plenty of sugar added.  
  
"Having a good holiday?" Arthur asked, smiling at her.  
  
"Yes, thanks. Mum and dad took me to New Zealand to visit mum's aunt. I was glad I got back in time for Harry's birthday."  
  
Arthur's face fell. "I am glad you did too. Harry needs his friends more than ever right now." He shook his head. "It just isn't right for that boy to have so much thrust upon him."  
  
"Here you go dear," Molly interrupted, giving her husband a sharp look. "Now off to bed with you." Hermione bade them goodnight and headed up the long flight of stairs to the third floor.  
  
&&&  
  
Remus, his hands behind his head, lay in bed in his small room on the ground floor. He had opted for this room when he and Sirius had first moved into Grimmauld Place. Close to the front door, it was convenient when the need arose to move quickly, especially when dealing with the portrait of Sirius' mother, who screeched loudly when disturbed.  
  
Staring into the darkness, he tried to keep the racing, nagging thoughts from flooding over him. It was his desire to stay calm and relaxed for Hermione's sake. The girl was overwhelmed and who could blame her? Sighing, he pushed away her image and focused on a mundane, peaceful scene.  
  
During his childhood, especially when he became depressed and unable to sleep, his mother had gently taught him to refocus his thoughts. Her soft voice painted pastoral, soothing pictures in his mind until he felt as though he were truly in the scenes.  
  
A large green field drifted through his mind and he imagined himself lying there amid the soft grasses, hearing the humming of the small insects flying around the flowers that dotted the field with a rainbow of color. Breathing deeply, he felt the warm sun stroking his skin, as a soft breeze stirred the grasses. He heard the soft lapping of water and now saw a pond sketched into the scene and could almost feel the water, warm and inviting.  
  
&&&  
  
Hermione sighed deeply as she sunk into the hot water in the large marble tub. Though Sirius' mother seemed to have been a bit deranged, she did have excellent taste, she thought. The bathroom was exquisite, done in pale blue marble. The bathtub was at least nine foot long and very deep. An impression had been made at one end that allowed the bather to rest their head comfortably back. Several silver taps lined the side each holding different additives for the bath preparations. Hermione had chosen a light- scented oil that smelled vaguely of rosemary and chamomile. The combination of Grammy's Cure-All, the hot water and aromatic oil was beginning to ease the tension from her.  
  
Dipping a washcloth into a jar of creamy soap, Hermione began washing herself. As the cloth passed over her breasts, she noticed how tender she was and a small smile crossed her face as she thought of last night. Though she had never dreamt that she would be having sex yesterday, it had been a very worthwhile experience, except of course for the spell that had bonded her to Remus. Trying not to think of the aftermath of last night, she closed her eyes as she thought of Remus' kisses as her hand moved lower.  
  
Her fingers touched the entrance to her sex. It just seemed different, opened. Hermione blushed as she remembered why it was different, though the blush was also part arousal that had begun to spread through her  
  
Rubbing herself she thought of Remus, the way his body had felt in her, the exquisite sensations she had experienced, reliving ever detail until she achieved climax. Shuddering, she sunk low in the water as she came down from the orgasm, feeling sated and very relaxed.  
  
&&&  
  
Remus lay there panting slightly. 'Well at least she found a way to relieve her tension' he thought wryly as he looked down at the tented sheet. Groaning, he rolled to his side, thankful that Hermione seemed to have finally relaxed.  
  
&&&  
  
Hermione stretched languidly as she looked around the room. It felt late and she hurried to get dressed. Entering the underground kitchen, she saw Ginny and Molly were the only occupants.  
  
"Bout time you got up, lazy," Ginny teased.  
  
"Now Ginny," Molly scolded. "It is alright, dear. I'm glad you got some rest," she told Hermione who had mumbled an apology.  
  
Hermione began munching on the toast Molly had set before her. "Where are Ron and Harry?"  
  
"They went up to the attic to go over some Quidditch strategies for the new term. I thought I would wait for you," Ginny told her. Hermione knew that Ginny wanted to be in on any Quidditch plans as she was unsure of what position she would have now that Harry would be playing once more.  
  
"Go on Ginny. I think I will look over some homework today anyway."  
  
"I thought you might want to join us," Ginny said.  
  
Hermione laughed. "I think you know me better than that. I'll catch up with you later." Ginny gave her a thankful smile and left.  
  
Listening to Molly hum a tune, Hermione was lost in her own thoughts. She had woken up to the feeling of being safe, as if someone was holding her tight. It had been the first time in a long while she had felt that way and she couldn't help but wonder if it had something to do with the spell between her and Remus.  
  
"Hermione?" Hermione looked up at Molly who was standing near her.  
  
"Sorry, didn't hear you," she said sheepishly  
  
"Evidently," Molly laughed. "I asked you if you would mind taking this to Lupin. I packed a few sandwiches and biscuits for him to take along."  
  
"Along? Is he going somewhere?"  
  
"Yes, I think he has something he needs to do for the Order." Molly clucked. "I hope he will take care of himself. He seems so tired all the time."  
  
Taking the bag from Molly, Hermione hurried out of the kitchen leaving Molly to stare at her.  
  
She found Remus in the entrance hall dressed in his Muggle clothing, the worn overcoat looking shabbier than she remembered. A broad smile lit up his face when he saw her, his eyes sparkling with warmth. "Hermione, I'm glad you found me. I wanted to say goodbye."  
  
Hermione handed him the sack. "Mrs. Weasley packed you a lunch," she said, her throat feeling tight. "Where are you going?"  
  
"I told you it'll be easier on you if I am not under the same roof."  
  
Feeling a twinge of loss, Hermione shook her head. "You don't have to leave because of me. Please, I can adjust to whatever happens."  
  
"I know you are a very capable young woman, Hermione, but it does not change the fact that there are things I must do." Remus' voice grew soft. "And it will be better for both of us not to have the interchange of feelings. The distance will help." He hesitated a moment. "Remember the full moon is the fifteenth. I am so sorry." He touched her cheek briefly.  
  
"You don't have to go."  
  
"Yes, I truly must." He smiled, gave her a light kiss on her forehead and was gone.  
  
&&&  
  
The next two weeks passed in a slow haze for Hermione. She had not felt any connection to Remus during this time, except for when she had awoke one night to her heart racing as her adrenaline flowed. Feeling anxious and wary, she had stared into the dark room for more than an hour. Finally the feeling had passed and she was not sure if she had been feeling Remus or just anxiety for the coming full moon.  
  
Finally the fifteenth was upon her. Hermione sat in her room flipping through her notes. She had gone over in her mind all that she could remember about Lycanthropy and the process of the metamorphosis that occurred. 'Surely the anticipation was worse than the actual event,' she thought wryly. Glancing at the clock on the shelf, her heart beat faster. It was almost time. Getting up she headed for the bathroom.  
  
Locking the bathroom door, Hermione sat crossed legged on the floor in front of the full-length mirror. Her skin felt like little insects were crawling up and down in rapid succession.  
  
"Okay, I can handle this," she told her reflection in the mirror. "Breath deeply, let it pass and it will be alright."  
  
The first pain started in her jaw. It felt as if her bones were trying to stretch through her skin. She flinched as she put her hand up to touch her mouth expecting to find it stretched. Her vision was getting fuzzy, and her ears were ringing. "It's alright, I can handle this," she said loudly.  
  
"Noooo." Hermione grabbed both sides of her face as she felt it twist and writhe within her, her fingers clawing at her skin, trying to hold on. 'My skull is going to burst,' she thought panic stricken, looking up horrified. She saw only her normal face, a few scratches on her cheek and was relieved but only for a moment as the pain ripped through her entire body now.  
  
&&&  
  
"What was that?" Ron asked. He, Harry and Ginny were sitting on Ron's bed playing a game of Exploding Snap when they heard a scream.  
  
"Probably Mrs. Black," Ginny said, throwing down her card.  
  
The scream resounded once more. Harry's eyes grew wide. "That's Hermione."  
  
They scrambled off the bed hurrying to the door. "Get mum and dad," Ron told Ginny as he and Harry headed in the direction of the bathroom.  
  
"Hermione!" Harry pounded on the door, trying to jerk it open. "Are you alright?"  
  
Lying on the floor, Hermione was panting and gasping as another ripple of pain ran through her. "I can handle this," she said through gritted teeth, though another scream escaped her lips.  
  
The grinding, pulling pain ripped through her. Her bones were shifting, changing, stretching, and shrinking. Muscles, skin and sinew protested at the transformation of the bones and their cry of protest was a hot, searing pain that washed over her like molten lava.  
  
Crawling over to the door, she pulled herself up by the doorknob. With shaking hands she unlocked the door as another wave of pain shot through her shoulders. Opening the door, Harry and Ron stood with their wands raised. Harry barely caught Hermione as she gave him a horror stricken look and fainted. 


	5. Empathy

Comfort

Part IV

Empathy: 2 **:** the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and 

vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; _also_ **:** the capacity for this 

****

Hermione opened her eyes to find she was in her room tucked into bed. Molly sat beside her knitting. "Hermione dear," Molly said, putting down her knitting, "how are you feeling?"

 "Okay," Hermione said.  Her mind raced as she remembered the last moments in the bathroom. Dreading the next words out of Molly's mouth, she tried to think of what she was going to say. 

"What happened child?"

Hermione blurted out the only thing she could think of, "I know this sounds odd," she looked at Molly, "but…I think…well, that I saw Kreacher."

Molly looked shocked but nodded sympathetically.  The second day Hermione had been back at Grimmauld Place she had questioned Molly about Kreacher's whereabouts for no one had mentioned him.  Molly had told her that he had been absent for several weeks.  Hermione had searched the place looking for the elf and had found him.  His body was in the attic, his head neatly severed and laying on top of his chest.  From the stench, he had been dead for quite awhile.  No one spoke about the house elf's strange demise, yet there was a sense of satisfaction from several of the occupant's of Grimmauld Place, especially from Harry.

"It was just a stupid vision, I guess," Hermione muttered blushing.

Patting her hand, Molly assured her that anything was possible in this place.  "Go back to sleep, it will be better in the morning.  Oh, by the way, Professor Snape left a package for you earlier. It's on the nightstand."

Hermione saw the small brown package and her heart jumped.  "Thanks," she said, anxious to open the package but not wanting to do so in front of Molly.

After Molly had left, Hermione opened the box.  A small vial with a dark red potion and a note lay within. Opening the note, she saw that it was from Dumbledore.

_Miss Granger,_

After speaking with Professor Snape about your circumstances, do not worry I did not disclose anything but the barest facts, he assured me that he knew of a draught that would ease your discomfort during Lupin's transformation.

_It is a form of Dreamless Sleep Potion combined with a powerful painkiller.  Two drops to the tongue is all that is needed.  It would be best that you retire early during the three nights of the full moon and take the draught.  I would advise against indulging any curiosity to discover how painful a werewolf's transformation may be. _

_Kind Regards,_

_A. Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts   _

Hermione snorted.  Curiosity indeed.  If only Molly had given this to her earlier, she would have gladly forgone the experience.  Still, she could not help feeling thankful that she did know how awful the transformation was.  Though it made her very melancholy to think that Remus had to endure it monthly, she felt closer to him somehow.

****

The days passed quickly for Hermione as she threw herself into the summer homework that had been assigned.  She was still unsure in what direction her career would take her, for she was torn between several choices and had submitted three different career paths to her advisors at Hogwarts earlier that summer. Her schedule bore a very heavy course load, ensuring she would have all the N.E.W.T.s needed for each career.

Harry and Ron had both opted to study for careers as Aurors. Hermione was mildly surprised when their schedules showed they both had been accepted into Professor's Snape's N.E.W.T. level potions class.  Harry told her glumly that it was probably Dumbledore's doing as both he and Ron had only received an A in potions.

After much badgering from both Molly and Hermione, the boys had managed to finish their summer homework on the last day of their stay at headquarters.

On the morning they were to leave for Hogwarts, Hermione was finishing her packing and Ginny was scrambling around madly trying to find her things, which were scattered throughout the place.  Hermione suddenly felt a flare of anger surge through her followed by scorn mingled with deep sorrow.  She was puzzled for a moment before she realized what the sudden feelings meant.  Remus was here somewhere.  A smile crossed her face, though she wondered why he was so angry and sad at the same time.

Harry and Ron burst into the room a few minutes later.  Harry's face was flushed and his eyes glowed in anger. He threw himself on Ginny's bed and Ginny protested after he knocked her stack of books to the floor. "What's up?" Hermione asked feeling a bit annoyed by their abrupt entrance.

"We have to take the Knight Bus to Hogwarts," Ron said gloomily.  His only trip on the bus last year had not been a bit fun.  The jolting, lurching bus had thrown its occupants to the floor as the unbolted chairs had tumbled around.

"Why?" Ginny asked in shock.

"We have to go on the train," Hermione said sharply.  "The prefects have to get their instructions…"

"You all can go on the train," Harry snapped.  "I am the one not 'allowed' to go.  I have to be under careful watch." He slammed his fist into the mattress. "Who does he think he is anyway?"

"Listen mate," Ron said exasperatedly.  Apparently he had already gone through this with Harry. "We 'all' have to go on the bus.  Mum insisted after what Lupin told her."

"What?" Hermione and Ginny asked.

"Something about it being unsafe on the train, maybe a possible ploy to get Harry."

"They should let me go.  I can handle myself," Harry said angrily. "But no, it seems that whatever Lupin says, goes."

"Harry, that's not fair," Hermione said reprovingly.  "Remus only has your best interest…"

"My best interest is for him to leave me alone.  He acts like he is trying to take Sirius' place."

"Of course he isn't." Hermione flared, understanding now what probably had caused Remus' feelings.  "Really Harry, quit being such a git."

Harry glared at her.  "Fine.  Let someone else tell you what you can and cannot do and see how you like it."

Giving him a withering look, Hermione started to say something when Molly's voice rang up the stairs announcing that it was time to go.  With trunks bumping down the stairs, Hedwig and Pigwigdeon hooting, Ron grumbling and Ginny bemoaning she hadn't found everything yet, they made quite a ruckus by the time they reached the hall, prompting the portrait of Mrs. Black to start its wailing.  Remus, Bill, Tonks and Molly gave them a disapproving look.

"I didn't do it this time," Tonks said in her defense as Bill and Remus tried to shut the curtains on the portrait. Hermione tried to catch Remus' eye as she passed him but his attention was on the task at hand.  She felt a bit hurt that he hadn't even sought her out to say hello.   
"Be quiet," hissed Molly at them as they continued their progress out the hall to the door. Mad eyed Moody was waiting for them on the sidewalk as they finally got all the stuff out. 

"'Bout time you lot got out here," he growled, flinging out his wand.  There was a sharp crack and a purple three decker bus screeched to a halt before them. Bill and Remus started loading the trunks into the storage compartment.

Stan Shunpike, a thin pimply man in a purple uniform, greeted them as the climbed up the stairs.  "A bit full today.  May find a few up top.  Well hello again 'Arry'."  

"Shut your gob," Moody hissed.  "Lupin, I will find a spot here, see if you can get the kids situated on the second deck."

The second deck was also crowded but they found five chairs.  "I will take the upper deck," Remus said as everyone settled in.  Ginny and Hermione had squeezed together in an over sized armchair. 

After a few minutes of tossing and tumbling as the bus lurched and jumped, Hermione stood up. "I think I'll see if there is an extra chair up top with Remus," she told Ginny.  "I want to talk to him about that spell we were working on anyway."  

The third deck was not as crowded and she saw Remus sitting in the back.  He stood up quickly and met her halfway up the aisle. "Something wrong?" he asked. 

"Just wanted a bit more room," she told him.  He relaxed and took her arm as they swayed when the bus turned sharply to the right. They sat down in two armchairs.  Remus smiled brightly at her and she could feel his gladness to see her.  It had worried her at first, for he had seemed distant when she had first seen him.

"How are you, Hermione?" he asked gently holding her gaze with his. 

"Fine thanks. Remus," she said hesitantly and then asked, "What's up?  I mean why couldn't we go on the train?"  

Looking around at the other passengers, he leaned close to her and spoke softly.  "We got word that there was an attack planned in hopes of capturing Harry. Apparently the train would have been stopped somewhere along the line. "

Hermione nodded, suspecting something of that nature. "The other students, will they be safe?"

"I believe so.  Those planning the attack would have been watching the station to see if Harry boarded for he was the only one they sought. I do think they will abort the plan now. It wouldn't be worth the risk, but as a precaution we have half a dozen members riding the train so everything should be alright."

"I hope so," Hermione said, thinking of the other students on the train.

Remus gave her a small smile.  "So how did you get along this month?"  He lowered his voice once more. "Did the potion Dumbledore told me about work?"

Hermione hesitated.  She wanted to reassure him that she had not suffered but didn't want to lie either. "Yes, the potion worked.  I felt nothing those nights I took it…but I didn't have it the first night."  

Remus took Hermione's hand, his eyes filled with sorrow.  She felt his overwhelming sadness and stifled an urge to cry. "I wish I could have spared you from that," he said solemnly.

"I know, but Remus you go through that every month.  How…how can you bear it?"

"I have no choice," he said soberly.

"Do you think it is that way with the Animagus?  I mean, I had interest in learning the art, but if it is that painful, well, I want nothing to do with it."

He smiled at her.  "I had asked the same question myself.  The guys told me that after they got the process down pat that the transformation was over with so quickly it only felt like a tingle running up your spine.  Unfortunately as you found out, my transformation takes minutes not seconds."

"It seemed like hours," Hermione shuddered, remembering the horrible sensation.

"Three minutes and forty-eight seconds to be precise."

She looked at him quizzically. "James and Sirius timed me once," he explained with a smile. "Though you are right.  It does seem like an eternity."

"Curious," he spoke after a few minutes of silence.

"What's that?"

"I cannot imagine what form you would take as an Animagus.  A person does not choose their form, rather the essence of that person's true personality chooses.  He studied her for a moment, his eyes sparkling in amusement. "Perhaps a lioness or a very beautiful bird of some type."

Hermione blushed. "Thank you, I think," she said. "Though I would probably turn out to be a worm."  Remus raised an eyebrow at her. "Well people are always calling me a bookworm." Remus' rich tenor voice rang with laughter causing a few passengers to turn their heads to stare at him.

A young witch appeared at the top of the stairs, one hand clutching several bags and holding a toddler in her other arm.  She looked around clearly distressed.  "Miss," Remus called, standing up and offering her his chair.  The witch thanked him gratefully as she sat down, the young child in her arms fussing now. Hermione smiled.  Remus was every bit a gentleman no matter how shabby he appeared. 

"I'll go try to squeeze in with Ginny again," Hermione told him standing.  Just then the bus took off with a bang and knocked her off her feet.  She felt two strong hands on her waist and found herself pulled into Remus' lap as he flopped down on the armchair she had just gotten up from.

"Or you could just stay here," he teased, his gray eyes softening as he looked at her. "It might be safer."

Hermione giggled.  Sitting on his lap, his arm around her waist, she couldn't think of anywhere else she would rather be. 

After several more wild stops and starts, the third level had cleared out quite a bit.  Remus did not suggest that Hermione find another seat nor did she as she sat in his lap feeling very safe and warm. They discussed her schedule and other matters until they heard the conductor announce, "'Ogwarts".

****

School started off uneventfully-- except for the grumbling from the sixth years over the amount of homework they already had by the second week.     The pressure which Hermione felt reminded her of her third year when she'd needed a time turner to take all the classes that she'd signed up for.  She had the same five classes that Ron and Harry had, plus three more.  

Eating breakfast that September morning, she was pleased to see several owls approaching her, for it was her sixteenth birthday.  Ron had given her a set of combs for her hair and Harry's gift was a set of different writing quills.  Her parents had sent some books and a large box of sugar free sweets and Mrs. Weasley had knitted her a blue jumper.

When another owl landed by her plate with a package, she was puzzled.   She thought she had already gotten everything from those who would send her a gift.

Opening the small package, she saw it was a small diary with a dark burgundy suede leather cover.  She opened the letter attached and her heart skipped a beat.

_Dear Hermione,_

_Wishing you much happiness today.  I hope that things are well and the term has started off on the right foot._

_I realize that things happen in our lives that are overwhelming.  It is at these times I find solace in recording my thoughts and feelings.  I find that this gives me some sense of control and, if nothing else, allows me to express whatever I need to at the moment.  Maybe this will be of some comfort to you also._

_If you ever have need of me, do not hesitate to send word.  I will do whatever is in my power to answer._

_Sincerely_

_Remus_

Hermione ran her hand over the soft suede leather.  Opening it, she read on the first page, "With my utmost respect." Smiling, she slipped the diary into her robe pocket, her thoughts on a certain gray eyed man.

****

It was late October day and Hermione was sitting between Ron and Harry in Transfiguration.  The boys were discussing what they wanted to buy when they went to Hogsmeade that Saturday. "Would you be quiet," Hermione hissed.  She felt jumpy and distracted. "I think learning how to do this spell would be more important that the latest novelty at the joke shop."

Ron looked at her and grinned. "You would think."

"Now to complete the spell, hold your wand over the object thus," Professor McGonagall said, demonstrating the proper flick of the wand.  The Transfiguration class mimicked her movements though Hermione was finding it very hard to concentrate as she felt her heart beginning to race and fear gripping at her.  She clutched at her wand, trying to focus on the movement Professor McGonagall was showing once more. A sheen of sweat appeared on her forehead and upper lip.

"Hermione?" Ron nudged her. "You okay?  You're as pale as a ghost."

Hermione turned to look at Ron.  "I think I must be coming down with something," she said.  "Maybe I ought to go to the infirmary…" Hermione's neck snapped back as she felt something solid strike her across the cheek.  She toppled off the stool landing with a thud on the stone floor.

"Hermione!" Harry cried. "What's wrong?"

"Just clumsy," she tried, rubbing her cheek.  Grabbing Harry's outstretched hand, she stood up only to double over as something struck her hard in the stomach.

"Miss Granger, Mr. Potter." Professor McGonagall was approaching them.  "Pray tell why you find it necessary to interrupt the class."

"Sorry, my fault," Hermione groaned clutching at her stomach.

McGonagall put a hand on Hermione's shoulder.  "Do you need to go see Madame Pomfrey child?"

"Yes," Hermione began when her body was filled with a sensation that felt like sharp hot knives were piercing every part of her skin.  Shrieking she fell to the floor, curling up in a fetal position as her body jerked and twitched.  "Remus," she moaned, twitching as the pain eased.  

Harry was looking at her with fright in his eyes, as he knelt down beside her.  Hermione grasped his robes pulling his face down next to hers. "Tell…Dumbledore…Remus…" she tried but another wave of the same sharp piercing pain raced up and down her body.  

Professor McGonagall grabbed Harry's shoulder. "Go!" she whispered urgently for she had heard Hermione's words.  Harry nodded and took one last look at Hermione who was moaning in pain before running out of the room.

"Get back everyone!" McGonagall told the students gathered around Hermione now.  Conjuring a stretcher, she told Ron to help her get Hermione on it.  Once Hermione was on the stretcher, Professor mcGonagall levitated and started to the door when Hermione started clawing at her neck.  Ron and Minerva watched in horror as she began choking, gasping for breath as her face began turning red, her lips tinged with blue.

AN: Big thanks to AprilGrey for beta services skillfully done.  Check out her stories on this site.  Excellent reads.  Thanks to Ali-on Broadway for suggestions and advice.  


	6. Understanding

AN/Many thanks to AprilGrey for beta services and thank YOU for the reviews.  I am overwhelmed.

Comfort Part VI

Understanding-** a** **:** friendly or harmonious relationship **b** **:** an agreement of opinion or feeling **:** adjustment of differences **c** **:** a mutual agreement not formally entered into but in some degree binding on each side

****

When she opened her eyes, Hermione found herself lying on a bed in the hospital wing.  Darkness had fallen and the shadows played across the room.  Hearing someone talking softly, she turned her head and saw Madame Pomfrey and Dumbledore emerge from behind curtains that were pulled around a bed in the far corner.  

"How did Remus respond to the salve you used?"  Dumbledore asked Madam Pomfrey quietly.  Hermione's heart leapt.  

"I do believe it will heal the wounds with minimal scarring.  I cannot believe how much damage was done…"

"Shh," Dumbledore put a finger to his lips and looked in Hermione's direction.  She closed her eyes quickly, hoping he would think her asleep.  "It would be better if we spoke in your office."

Hermione kept her eyes closed waiting for their footsteps to fade away as they left the ward.  After a few minutes, she got up and headed to the curtained off bed. Slipping through the curtains, a small sob escaped her throat before she could stop it.  Remus lay on the small bed.  His face was swollen, and a nasty looking purple bruise was on his right cheek.  The worst of all was the scarlet red marks on his neck, especially on the left side.  

"He is resting peacefully."

Hermione jumped and spun around to see Dumbledore standing beside her. "He owes you his life," Albus said gently.  "If you had not warned me that he was in danger," Dumbledore held her gaze, "he and you would be dead right now." 

Hermione nodded, turning back to look at the Remus.  "What happened?"

"I cannot speak of such matters at the moment, Miss Granger," he said kindly.  "Perhaps Remus will tell us both when he is able." 

Remus began moaning as his hands went up to his neck.  His breathing was raspy. 

"It's alright boy," Albus said, pulling Remus' hands away from his neck.  "You are safe and at Hogwarts." Though he had not opened his eyes, Remus nodded.  His breathing was still rapid and Hermione felt the anxiety running through him. Reaching out, Hermione took Remus' hand, holding it tightly.  Remus visibly relaxed, and his breathing returning to normal.

"Albus, is he worse…" Poppy asked coming through the partition. She saw Hermione and frowned.  "Miss Granger, you should be in bed, not bothering other patients."

"It is alright Poppy.  In fact, I do believe Miss Granger will be the best medicine for Remus." 

Madam Pomfrey raised one eyebrow at him. "And what can this child do for him?"

"She is a close friend, Poppy.  I think it will be of comfort to him to know she is here."

Eyeing Hermione, Madame Pomfrey spoke. "Very well.  I will allow it, but Miss Granger, you will need to be quiet and allow him to rest.  I will be in the office if he has need of anything.  Good night Headmaster," she said as she left them. 

Hermione smiled gratefully at Dumbledore.  "I can stay then?"

"Of course dear, though you need your rest also." Albus pointed his wand at the small hospital bed.  It widened considerably.  "I do believe the bond between you and Remus will help him to heal.  I will speak to Professor McGonagall and arrange for you to visit Remus as often as you would like to after classes.  I must ask that you do not tell anyone that he is here."

"Yes Professor."

"Then I bid you a good night, Miss Granger."

Blushing, Hermione said, "Good night sir."  

After Dumbledore had left, Hermione slipped into the bed next to Remus.  She tried not to disturb him as she carefully laid herself down.  Resting her hand on his chest, she could feel his heart beating steadily.  

****

The room was bright when Hermione awoke.  Remus' arm was around her and she was snuggled close to his side.  Sitting up slowly, she looked at his face and was surprised and relieved to see his eyes already opened and looking at her.

"Morn..ing" his voice was barely audible and he swallowed hard trying to get the words out.

"Remus, oh I am so thankful you are alright," she said breathlessly.

Madam Pomfrey bustled in, her eyes showing her disapproval.  "Well young man," she said to Remus, "I see you have decided to wake up.  No talking do you understand," she said pointedly to Hermione rather than Remus.  "Though I managed to repair the damage to your windpipe, I want you to remain silent for another day at least." 

Remus nodded, giving Hermione a wink.  Madame Pomfrey frowned.  "I do believe you are well enough to return to classes today, Hermione."

"Yes ma'am," Hermione said while getting up.  She mouthed 'see you later' at Remus as she left.

****

Professor McGonagall had told the Gryffindors that Hermione had suffered from a gall bladder attack as an explanation for what had happened in Transfiguration.  All her classmates seemed to accept this explanation except for Harry.  He had asked her why she had sent him to Dumbledore several times during the morning.  Not knowing what else to do, she had taken Harry aside after lunch and told him about the spell, or at least part of it.

"What do you mean you are bonded with him?" Harry hissed angrily.

"It's not what you think," Hermione lied, trying to sooth him.  Harry seemed to be taking a dislike to Remus for some reason.  She could only guess that it was because he was trying to look out for Harry. Harry perceived it as Remus trying to take Sirius' place. "It just allows each of us to feel the other's pain.  I could only assume what happened the other day in class was because Remus was attacked."

"Was he?"

"I don't know for sure.  Harry you must not tell anyone about this.  It would jeopardize the Order."

Frowning at her, he crossed his arms. "Alright, but just how can it jeopardize the Order?"

"Well, the other side knows that Remus is part of the Order.  If they found out that he could be taken out by hurting me, wouldn't it make sense to do so?"

Harry's frown deepened.  "I won't say anything, but I don't like it.  How could he do something like that to you?  I mean, that sounds a bit off to me."

"It was an accident, Harry," Hermione sighed.  "And until a reversal is found, Remus and I will just have to deal with it."

****

Hermione found she could not wait for classes to end, her thoughts on the man lying in the hospital wing.  Curiosity was eating at her over Remus.  What had happened?  Why was he at Hogwarts?  She only hoped that Dumbledore meant it when he said perhaps Remus could tell them both.

"Trying to set a new record?" Ron asked Hermione at dinner that evening, watching her shovel in the food. 

"I think she's been taking lessons from you," Harry teased.  "Slow down Hermione, you will choke."

Swallowing, Hermione pushed her plate back and got up. "Just have to get to the library to do a bit of studying." Ron rolled his eyes.  

After hurrying to the hospital wing, Hermione stopped outside the door to catch her breath. She was beginning to feel a bit foolish over her desire to see Remus. 'Maybe its just the effect of the spell' she thought, though she ran a hand over her hair trying to calm the wild tangles.

Entering the room, she was relieved to find that Madame Pomfrey wasn't present.  She walked softly over to the curtained bed and slipped in.  Remus was sitting up in the bed with his pajama top unbuttoned and she saw that his ribs were bandaged.  He smiled at her and mouthed 'hello'.  Hermione felt a surge of happiness run through her and smiled back, glad that he was indeed happy to see her. 

His face was less swollen now, the dark bruise on his cheek less red.  Warm gray eyes sparkled at her as he patted the side of the bed.  Hermione put her book bag in the chair and sat gingerly on the edge of the bed.  "Feeling better?" she asked.  Remus nodded and pointed at her.  "I am fine."

Remus reached up and touched her cheek, his smile warm.  'Thank you' he mouthed.  She wanted to ask for what, but Madame Pomfrey came through the curtains.  "Here again I see, Miss Granger. You aren't encouraging him to speak are you?" she asked defensively.

"No ma'am," Hermione said, her brow furrowing a bit.  She could sense Pomfrey's annoyance.

"Well see that he doesn't.  He needs his rest so please keep your visit short," she said as she took Remus' pulse.  Hermione stifled a giggle as Remus rolled his eyes when Pomfrey wasn't looking.   After a few more minutes of poking and prodding, she patted Remus on the shoulder and left.

"Why is she so worried that I will bother you?" Hermione asked, shaking her head.  Remus pointed to her book bag and indicated he wanted to write. She dug around a moment and gave him a piece of parchment and quill.  

'You are intruding into her territory.'

Hermione looked at him questioningly.

'During my school years, I was in here very often because of my Lycanthropy and Poppy became very protective of me.   I think she feels a bit threatened that you are here.'

Blushing, Hermione nodded.  

'It's endearing, but a bit smothering.'

"I would guess so," Hermione said with a grin. "I will be good and leave you to rest then."  She started to rise but Remus put his hand on her arm. He shook his head at her and picked up the quill once more.

_'Stay.  I am most selfish and would enjoy your company.'_  Hermione's heart fluttered as she looked at him. 

Several hours and many pieces of parchment passed before Hermione finally returned to her dorm.

****

Hermione was heading towards the hospital wing Saturday morning when she was intercepted by Professor McGonagall. "Come with me, Miss Granger."   

Hermione followed her to the west side of the castle down a hallway that Hermione had never been.  Professor McGonagall stopped in front of a painting of an old man with a dog.  The man gave Hermione a wink and the dog wagged its tail vigorously.  "Salamander, newt and rog." she said.  The portrait swung open.  They stepped through and Hermione saw they were in a small, well cared for garden.

"This is Madame Pomfrey's medicinal herb garden," Professor McGonagall explained.  "I will trust you will not reveal this to anyone.  Some of the plants that grow here are very dangerous if used improperly."  

A small shed rested in the shadow of the tall wall that surrounded the garden.  Entering the shed, Hermione saw it was filled with a variety of garden tools.  A floor to ceiling stand containing vials and jars stood against the back wall.  "Watch carefully."  Professor McGonagall picked up the third jar on the second shelf.  The stand moved to the right revealing a door.  Hermione followed Professor McGonagall through the small door.

"Minerva, nice to see you." Hermione heard a familiar voice say. Hermione saw Remus sitting in a chair in a moderately sized room.  The room was furnished with a desk, several overstuffed armchairs, and a bed.  Light streamed in from windows that were set high on the wall near the ceiling and a cheery fire burned in a small fireplace in the corner.  

Remus smile widened a bit when he saw Hermione emerge from behind Minerva.  "And you, Miss Granger."

"Remus, how are you feeling?" Minerva asked, her eyes lingering on the bright red marks on his neck.  

"Much better than I look, thanks.  Please sit," he said, starting to rise.

Minerva held up her hand.  "I am afraid I cannot stay.  Albus asked me to show Miss Granger where you are staying."  She turned to face Hermione.  "I trust you will be discreet when visiting and also do not tire Mr. Lupin."  A small frown marred her brow.  

"Certainly Professor," Hermione assured her, a small flush on her cheeks.

"Then I will bid you good day, Remus, Hermione," Minerva said.  "If you have need of anything I am sure Miss Granger will be able to assist you."

Remus and Hermione said their goodbyes.  Hermione stood there a moment, a bit flustered.  She wondered what Professor McGonagall must be thinking.  Remus' soft laughter interrupted her thoughts.

"I do believe that Minerva's curiosity is eating away at her," he said, smiling at Hermione and patting the chair next to him.  Hermione sat down and waited for him to explain. "I trust Albus has not told her about our bonding and I could tell by her formal manner that she is not sure what to think about you being here."  Hermione's blush deepened and she grinned.

Remus returned her grin.  He looked better, the color had returned to his cheeks and his voice was no longer raspy as it had been yesterday when Hermione had visited after classes.  However, the marks on his neck were still a violent red. "Are you really okay?" she asked tentatively. 

"You tell me," he said, taking her hand while studying her face.  Hermione closed her eyes and tried to feel any pain or discomfort.  There was only a small twinge on the left side of her throat and a light pressure on her ribs.  "So am I okay?" he asked teasingly.

"You'll live," she said, opening her eyes.

"Thanks to your quick thinking.  If you hadn't sent Harry to tell Dumbledore…" she felt his sorrow wash over him.  "Well, I have never been worried about dying before, it's just now…"

"I understand," she told him, squeezing his hand. 

"Am I interrupting?" Dumbledore asked from the doorway.  Hermione let go of Remus' hand.  "Not at all, Headmaster, please come in."

Albus entered the room and sat down in an armchair.  He smiled at them.  "I have sent for some tea and biscuits," he told them.  As if on cue a house elf appeared bearing a tray.

"Dobby," Hermione said, recognizing the house elf that looked to be bundled for the coldest weather.  He was wearing an array of knitted caps and scarves, those she had knitted in hopes of freeing other house elves.  

"Miss Hermione," Dobby said bowing.  "I am thanking you for all the fine clothes."

Hermione tried to stifle a giggle.  "You are most welcome."

"Dobby has been wearing all Miss Hermione's gifts.  Master Dumbledore has remarked more than once on Dobby's finery."

"Thank you, Dobby," Dumbledore said, his eyes sparkling in amusement.  "If you would be so kind, Miss Hermione and myself need to speak to Mr. Lupin on most important matters" Dobby nodded.  "And Dobby, remember that no one should know of our guest."

"Yes, Headmaster, Dobby remembers."

After pouring tea and passing around the biscuits, Dumbledore spoke.  "Remus, if you are up to it, I would like to know about the events that transpired in Hogsmeade that led to your condition."

Hermione looked at Remus, startled. "You were attacked in Hogsmeade?"

Remus nodded and sat his tea down on the table.  He looked at Hermione cautiously.

"She has every right to know, Remus.  Miss Granger is interlinked with you, and therefore I do believe she will understand that what is to be said here, remains here." 

"Oh course, Professor."

"Well then," Remus rubbed his chin, "I suppose I should explain to Hermione what I do for the Order, with your permission of course, Albus."

"As I said, Remus, I think she has a right to know."

"Right. Hermione, I do, what is the term, reconnaissance for the Order.  I take bits of information that Professor Snape and others bring to the Order's attention and check it out before any action is taken.

"Professor Snape had brought word earlier this week that something was afoot at Hogsmeade and I went to learn what I could. I had been there several days when I finally spotted Rookwood and another man slinking into Hogshead.  I was surprised that they were moving during the day and knew I couldn't just waltz into the pub in case one of them recognized me. You have been to Hogshead?" Remus asked Hermione. 

"Yes, last year."

"Then you know that there are no windows in the place.  The only thing I could do was shimmy up a drainpipe and try to discern any conversation from the roof.  There are a few benefits to being a werewolf such as very sensitive hearing.  It was a stroke of luck that I heard a very familiar voice on the north side of the building, although it surprised me that Voldemort would allow Pettigrew to venture out of his sight."

Hermione gasped.  "You mean Peter Pettigrew?"

"Yes.  According to Professor Snape, Voldemort keeps him on a tight leash.  It would not do for anyone to recognize him. Except for the Order and a few students," he smiled at her, "Peter is still believed to be dead, the victim of a deranged Sirius Black."  Hermione felt the surge of anger flow through Remus.

"From what I could hear, they were recruiting villagers to join on the Voldemort's side.  Part of the initiation was to help with a plan.  The plan was to capture Harry when the students had their next Hogsmeade visit."

"That's today!" Hermione cried, looking at Dumbledore.  "Professor, we need to stop everyone..."

Albus held up his hand. "Everything is under control, Miss Granger.  Though I did not know what happened to Remus before I arrived, I surmised it would be dangerous for the students to visit the village without precautions.  A dozen members of the Order are patrolling Hogsmeade today and Professor Snape will be going to keep an eye on Mr. Potter."

Hermione breathed a sigh of relief. "Professor, may I ask why you didn't just cancel?"

"The students need to continue life as normally as possible." Albus smiled gently at her. "It may also give us an opportunity to know which villagers have decided to follow Voldemort.  Not all loyalists are Death Eaters. Now then, Remus, please continue."

"I was lying on the roof, listening to the conversation, when I heard a crack as the roof gave way.  The next thing I knew I was laying flat on my back, staring at three startled Death Eaters. Most clumsy of me."

"Sounds to me that the innkeeper was at fault for not keeping up with repairs," Albus chided.

"Unfortunately, my wand had landed several feet away and before I could move I was put into a full body bind." Hermione shivered picturing the situation Remus had been in.

"I do believe Peter was more in shock than his mates.  He quickly recovered though, and I knew I was in a bit of a spot. Peter ordered the others out of the room and stood over me with a very malicious grin.

"He thought it was very humorous that I was now at his mercy, and reminded me that I had intended on killing him the last time we had seen each other. Walking around me, he rambled on a bit, enjoying being in control for once."  Remus stopped a moment, his eyes narrowing as he remembered the conversation…

_"Well, well, Remus.  Seems the shoe is on the other foot," Peter said gleefully._

_"Hello, Peter.  I see Voldemort has let you off the leash."_

_Peter glared at him, waving his wand to upright Remus' bound form. "I heard about Sirius," he taunted, "the arrogant bastard finally got his, didn't he, Remus?"_

_"So nice to know you still remember your friends, Peter. Oh, that's not right.  You never had any friends."_

_"Sarcasm, Remus? I am wounded."_

_"A big man aren't you, Peter?  Dressed in those nice robes, playing Death Eater.  Tell me do you wear your robes when you fetch Voldemort's slippers or only when you lap up his droppings?"_

_Peter's weak chin trembled in anger.  "You are a fool, Remus.  Always the pathetic, nice boy, trying to tow the line. If you only realized the power Voldemort has, you would be begging me to take you to him.  Pity he doesn't accept mangy werewolves."_

_"The mange is clearing up, I will have you know…"_

_"Enough!  I am going to kill you, Remus. Very poetic, don't you agree.  You, James and Sirius always the popular ones, the big powerful magic users, and yet I will be the last one left." _

_"You are the fool, Peter.  Always were."_

_Peter pulled off his gloves.  He saw Remus' eyes widened a bit as his gaze fell on the shiny silver hand. Holding it up, Peter smiled at Remus' discomfort. "My master is very generous, Remus.  This is one of his special gifts to his most deserving follower.  Very powerful, this gift.  I can crush rocks as if they were eggs." He moved closer until he was inches from Remus. "I understand that werewolves have a strange aversion to silver.  Is that true, Remus?"_

_"I haven't tested the theory, thanks."_

_"Well then, I think it is time we did." Peter backhanded Remus across the cheek, a grin of satisfaction crossing his face as he saw the tears in the man's eyes._

_"Before I kill you, Remus, you will tell me where the Order is meeting.  I went to the old place and knew no one had been there in years."_

_"We decided we needed a change of scenery."_

_A hard punch to the stomach brought a cry from Remus. "You will also give me the names of all the new members," Peter said cockily._

_"You really… are a fool if… you think I will… tell you anything."_

_"Oh I think you will, Remus," Peter smiled as he released the binding spell. Remus fell to his knees, his hand clutching his stomach.  "Crucio."_

Releasing the spell, Peter bent and grasped Remus around the neck with his silver hand. "Tell me!" he spat in Remus' face.  "Or I will force the words from your bloody throat." He emphasized the point, squeezing hard…

"Interesting, that silver hand of his," Remus said dryly, rubbing his throat absently. 

Hermione swallowed hard and fought back the tears.  He had almost died, she thought, snaking her hand into his.

"That is all I remember. I think you will need to fill in the rest, Albus."

"When Harry brought the news of what happened to Miss Granger in class I knew that you were being attacked.  Fawkes flew me to Hogshead.  Peter's friends were having a drink at the bar when I entered and disapparated when they saw me.  When I found the room, you were unconscious on the floor and Peter was kicking you and screaming at you to get up. He saw me just as I started to cast a spell. 

"He was surprisingly quick, most amazing reflexes.  I had just cast a spell to hold him and he transformed into a rat and fled through a small hole in the wall. By now several Order members had arrived, I had summoned them before I left Hogwarts, and they started searching for Peter. I am sorry to report they did not find him.  You were my first concern, however, for you had quit breathing and I brought you to Poppy as quickly as possible."

Albus smiled kindly at them, noticing that Remus gripped Hermione's hand tightly. "I am very grateful that Miss Granger was able to alert us.  I would hate to lose you, Remus."

Remus nodded.  "Hermione has my deepest thanks, also."

Hermione blushed.  She didn't know what to say.

"Now that everything has been explained, I will bid you a good day, Remus," Albus said standing.  "And you, Miss Granger."

Remus stood and walked Albus to the door. He turned back to Hermione and saw that she was crying.  He felt her sadness.  "Hey, what's this all about?" he asked gently as he knelt down by her chair.

"I am so sorry that happened to you," she sniffed, wiping at her eyes.

"It is all part of the job.  Hermione, you must realize that things like this happen.  When I joined the Order I understood the consequences and that, yes, I might die." He lifted her chin to look into her eyes.  "As I told you before, I had never worried too much about that, but now I cannot bear the thought."  

"I understand.  Last term while fighting at the Ministry of Magic, it finally sunk in that those I care for may die. Doesn't mean I have to like it."

"Of course not," he said softly, brushing a tear off her cheek. He gave her a smile.  "Today is not one of those times, however," he said lightly.  "Today you will go to Hogsmeade and buy things you don't need, have a drink at the Three Broomsticks and come back with a stomachache from eating too many sweets."

Hermione laughed. "I hadn't planned on going.  I thought I would keep you company."

Remus made a face causing her to giggle. "Nonsense.  Go, be with your friends.  I will be here if you want to visit later. Please go."

"All right.  I will come back after dinner if you don't mind."

"I am always happy to see you, Hermione," he said softly and she felt a shiver run down her spine. " I am curious though, haven't Harry and Ron been missing you these last days?"

Hermione snorted.  "Believe me, I could grow horns and a tail and they wouldn't notice. They have been too busy discussing Quidditch moves.  Gryffindor's first game is this Sunday."

"Who are they playing?" 

"Ravenclaw.  Harry is very anxious about the game."

"Now that I would love to see."

"Perhaps you could sneak down."

Remus shook his head.  "It would not be worth the risk.  No one would connect me being here with having to do with the Order or such, but I cannot take the risk that word would get back to certain student's parents.  You can tell me all about the match later." 

Hermione studied him a moment and then it came to her.  If she could arrange it, she would do more than just tell him about the game.

****

Hermione sat down on the bench.  She had chosen the far corner of the Gryffindor stands, scooting over until there was room for another beside her.  The bench was the least crowded and she smiled as she felt a weight settle beside her. 

Remus sat down beside her, hidden from the crowd beneath Harry's invisibility cloak.  Hermione had asked him to borrow it last night, explaining that she planned to sneak into the Restricted Section of the library immediately after the game to do some research.  Harry had been so involved thinking about the game that he had handed her the cloak without question.

"You are a most resourceful young witch." Hermione smiled at Remus' whisper.  She sat down a thermos of cocoa on the ground between them where it disappeared after a moment.  

Gryffindor was slaughtering Ravenclaw, though the action still was exciting.  The Ravenclaw captain called a time out. Hermione felt Remus nudge her knee with his.  She looked in his direction. "What?"  There was no reply but another nudge, this one more insistent.  "Something wrong?" she whispered.  A nudge on the shoulder this time was the answer.  She grinned and nudged back.  A soft laugh told her Remus was just playing with her.  They traded nudges and soft laughter off and on throughout the rest of the match.

****

Back in the garden room, Remus pulled off the cloak, his face flushed and his eyes shining bright. "That was excellent!  The team moved brilliantly and Harry, he is a superb flyer isn't he?"  Hermione smiled at Remus' outburst.  She was so happy for him and she had not missed the pride he felt when Harry caught the snitch.  "Not that Ron and Ginny didn't fly wonderfully,' he grinned sheepishly at her.  "Running on a bit, aren't I?"

He looked so boyish standing there, with a lock of hair falling over one eye, that Hermione couldn't resist as she reached up to smooth it back. She looked into his eyes and felt a tingle run through her.  Standing on her tiptoes, she pressed her lips to his, feeling his surprise.  When he didn't pull away, she put her arms around his neck to pull his face down to her, allowing her feet back on the floor. Remus began to kiss her back, slow and deliberate, their closed lips brushing against each other as his hands slipped into her hair.   


	7. Amatory

AN/ Thanks to AprilGrey for Excellent beta services.   Thanks for the reviews.  

Comfort Part VII

Amatory-of, relating to, or expressing sexual love

****

Hermione's mouth parted in unison with Remus' as the kiss continued.  She tentatively ran her tongue along his upper lip before slipping it into his mouth, tasting the cocoa they had shared from her thermos.  

Remus met her tongue and they found a slow rhythm to the dance their kiss had turned into.   His hands removed the ribbon that had held her hair, releasing her wild cascade over her shoulders. Hermione felt a surge of passion running down her body, stopping at her center.  She moaned at the fire that began in her stomach.  

Backing towards the bed, Remus' hand moved from her hair to her waist.  His thumb stroked down her ribs before his hands settled on her hips. He sat on the bed and pulled her down, allowing her to rest on him while never breaking the kiss.  His hand slipped up under her jumper, his gentle touch causing her to shiver as his fingers stroked over her back.  

Hermione lay flat on Remus, her hands brushing his face as she pressed close to him.  She felt his desire through both their shared emotions and the physical hardness that was pressing against her. His fingers danced across her back, stopping to undo her bra.

"Hermione," he murmured, his hands trailing down to the top of her jeans, pressing her against him as his hips moved beneath her. She shivered at the intensity of his longing flooding through her emotions.  He was lifting her jumper and she broke the kiss to allow him to continue.  His hands stilled and he looked at her sorrowfully.

Sighing, Remus pushed on her shoulders until she was sitting up.  She saw that his eyes were smoky with desire before he placed a hand over them, his fingers rubbing his forehead.  "Forgive me.  This shouldn't have happened." 

"What?  That we kissed? That we are enjoying each other's company?"

"Hermione," he said gently though his voice was husky, "This cannot happen. Not again.  I will not do this to you…"

"Thought I was the one who started the 'doing'," Hermione said testily, sitting cross-legged on the bed as Remus moved to sit up. 

Breathing deeply, Remus tried to get his passion under control.  "I am responsible for awakening these sexual feelings in you, so it is my 'doing.'  Hermione, I can't do this.  I do not want to take advantage of you-- what you are feeling is just part of the spell."  

Her eyes flashed at him.  "I think I can decide for myself what I want, thanks.  It isn't like that, Remus."  She bit on her lower lip, flushing a bit. "I am attracted to you. I like being around you because you are witty, can talk about more things than Quidditch and the latest joke item from Zonkos, and you make me feel like an equal.  That has nothing to do with the spell."

His eyes softened as he smiled at her.  "And I must admit that I am attracted to you more than I should be.  It has been a long time since I had someone to match wits with, but that is where it has to end.  We agree there is a mutual attraction and it was unwise to spend so much time alone together."

 "Why is it so wrong?" she asked, moving closer to him.  

"For one thing, you are too young and I am not a healthy person to have a relationship with.  I am a loner, Hermione, a werewolf."

Hermione frowned at him.  "That's a poor excuse, Remus.  As for me being too young, I am old enough to decide whom I want to be with."

Remus shook his head.  The aroma of soft musk filled his nostrils as Hermione moved closer, resting her hand on his arm.  He could feel her desire as it raced through her and knew he wouldn't be able to resist much longer.  Her lips were swollen and red from their kisses, her hair tangled around her face, and her eyes were shining.  He didn't protest as she leaned in. 

"Please," she said softly, her lips brushing his. 

Remus looked into her soft brown eyes and knew he had lost the battle.  He could feel her sexual desire, it was as intense as his had been moments ago and he kissed her, parting her mouth as his kiss began to consume them both. '_She is old enough to decide on a sexual partner, not like the first time I took her'_; he tried to argue with himself, though he knew this was not right. Hermione pressed her lips close to his ear.  

"I want to be near you- I want to make love to you."

Shaking his head, Remus ran a hand over her face, touching her lips gently as she kissed his fingers.  "Who are you?" he asked amazed.

"Just Hermione," she said, smiling shyly.

"Well, just Hermione, I surely want to make love to you also," he murmured, pulling her back down to him.  

Their kisses were more urgent this time, as the passion flared, each feeling the other's building desires. This time her jumper came off swiftly as did his.  Her loosened bra followed and Remus pushed her onto her back as his gentle fingers found her breast, his eyes staring deeply into hers as he caressed her.  Though he could feel her, feel what strokes brought her the most pleasure; he wanted to see it on her face. This time it would be about her. 

Hermione's lips parted and she moaned softly when Remus bent his head to capture her taut nipple in his mouth.  She stroked his hair and writhed as he laved her with his mouth, sending ripples of delight through her. 

Kissing his way up her throat, his hands fumbled with the snap on her jeans.  Hermione kicked off her trainers as he unzipped her jeans, pushing them and her knickers down her hips and rolling them off.  "Exquisite," he said huskily as he knelt over her looking at her body.  Hermione blushed, feeling very shy.  She closed her eyes.  

"Open your eyes, Hermione," Remus urged gently.  "If you want me, I want to see it in your eyes."  

Timidly she opened her eyes and saw that he had shed the remainder of his clothes.   Her eyes widened as she examined him.  The first time they had been together she had not looked, had kept her eyes shut from fear and shyness.  'He has a nice body' she thought, although she was no expert in this matter.  His form was well defined, the muscles outlined more than she would have expected from someone so lean.  She was surprised that he was nude of hair except for the faint line starting at his navel that led down to his…oh my. 

Remus waited for her to finish her assessment.  Although he had taken her once, he knew this was new to her and wanted her to take all the time she needed.  A small smile crossed his face at her inquisitive look at his erection. 

He lay down beside her and took her face in his hands, kissing her softly, exploring her lips.  Leaning on his elbow, he ran his other hand over her body, lingering on the spots that gave her pleasure, touching every inch of skin before sliding between her legs. His sensitive nose smelled her excitement as she parted her thighs and he explored her, teasing and caressing.  Watching her intently, he kept his movements steady until he felt her orgasm building.  She arched her hips against his hand and he shuddered slightly feeling it run through him.

After kissing her again, he moved and sat up, leaning against the headboard.  Hermione rolled over and crawled closer.  Her fingers began to touch his chest above the bandages, trailing over his arms.  She touched him as he had her, exploring his skin, finding the spots that sent shivers through them both.  Finally her hand moved to his center. She gave a questioning look and he nodded slightly.  Her hand closed over him and he groaned softly as he felt her gentle, exploratory touch. 

Tracing him, she outlined every part, curious as she felt the velvet skin and shuddering at the pleasure she felt from him.  He moved against her hand as she stroked. Remus grabbed her hands, bringing them to his mouth as he pulled her nearer. 

"Here," he said huskily as he lifted her and settled her on him.  They both gasped as they joined, their feelings intermingling, her slight discomfort as her body adjusted to his presence inside of her. His body ignited as he felt her stretch to accept him. 

"Make love to me, Hermione," he whispered as he kissed her neck, his hands caressing her hips.

He wanted her to be in control this time, to allow her to explore the sexual feelings and movements as she chose.  Her untutored movements were awkward at first, but soon fell into a rhythm that was satisfying to her and him. He allowed her to pleasure herself until he felt her building emotions. Grasping her waist, he rolled her over. With a few sharp thrusts he joined her as they climaxed together.

Remus lay on her, kissing her gently, stroking her face and hair.  "Beautiful Hermione," he murmured between kisses. They stayed locked together, their sweat mingling as their hearts quieted. Then Hermione felt him stirring and he began to slowly move inside her again. 

Sighing in contentment, she held him close.  He buried his head against her shoulder and his hips caressed her slowly, as if each stroke was to be savored.   His hands grasped her beneath her shoulders, drawing her closer, trying to meld their bodies together. "Remus," she cried as she felt the shuddering intense orgasm rip through her. 

Remus felt her shuddering, the emotions running through him like fire. He murmured her name just before he exploded within her.  Giving over to the deep sensations, they rode out each other's orgasm, feeling the magic bond until they became one, unable to tell their own body from the other.  

"My gods," Remus gasped, rolling over and pulling Hermione to him. "That was beyond words, though I suppose I shouldn't be telling you."

"No," she agreed as her heart pounded in her ears.  "I know exactly what you mean."

Remus laughed softly. "And I suppose you know this from your vast knowledge in the art of love making."

Blushing, Hermione punched him.  "Only teasing, only teasing," he said in his defense.  

"Even if I am not well versed in this area," she said softly, "I take it that what we just shared was beyond exceptional."

"Most assuredly," he chuckled. His face grew sober as he lifted her chin to look at him.  "You do realize that it was the spell that made it so exceptional, though I would like to think that we are just…" his face flushed a bit, "so well suited to each other in this area."

Remus felt her pleased reaction to his words. Grinning, he raised an eyebrow at her.

"I must say, Miss Granger, I was most shocked at your insistence this evening.  Tell me, do you always get your way with the boys?" he asked mockingly.

Hermione blushed.  "Believe it or not, I am very shy and unsure around boys.  They never look at me the same way they do other girls.  For some reason, I feel comfortable with you."

He understood more than she realized.  Kissing her on the tip of the nose, he pulled her close.

****

Remus looked up at the faint light streaming in through the high windows.  The pre dawn sky showed clear, promising a cool, crisp autumn day.  His arm around the sleeping girl tightened as his eyes strayed down to look at her. 

'What are you doing, Moony old boy?  She is only a child, a brilliant, sexy female, but still a child.' He remembered his curiosity over sex at her age and assumed she was only exploring her sexuality.  Snorting softly, he knew he was only trying to compensate for the fact he had made love to her again.  

Still, she should be exploring these urges and feelings with someone her own age, Ron or Harry perhaps.  Remus was startled at the surge of anger that ran through him as he thought of her with another.  'Foolish' he chided himself, though his other hand had begun to trace lazily up and down her arm as he tried to still the rush of strong emotion coursing through his veins. 

Hermione smiled and snuggled closer as he bent down to kiss her forehead.  "Morning Remus," she started as her eyes fluttered open when he moved. She was a bit surprised by his mouth on hers, his kiss bruising and intense as his tongue parted her lips.  Feeling his desire and anger, she shivered as his hands moved intimately over her, his fingers dipping down to the curls between her legs.   

Never breaking his ravishing of her mouth, he rolled over and parted her legs thrusting into her.  A tingle ran up and down her when he began moving within her, his thrusts hard and deep as he muttered against her lips.  Though he sensed her slight fear, Remus was consumed with taking her.  The added dimension of unleashing the wildness that flooded through him in their lovemaking, drove her desire higher than before and added to his. He bit her neck hard eliciting a slight cry from her and her nails raked his shoulders.

With a cry he came and urging her on, she too crested.  Crashing down from the animal lust that had flared within him, Remus felt the guilt wash over him.  Why hadn't he expected this?  He had already marked her soul-- why hadn't he remembered that his nature wanted to mark her body as well, to lay claim to her?  

"Are you all right?" he asked breathlessly, running his hands over her, searching for any damage he might have done.

The brief irritation that had flared through her melted as she felt his guilt and anxiety. "I am fine, Remus," she smiled at him.  "That was just unexpected but rather nice," Her cheeks flamed as he kept examining her, wincing as he saw the bruises on her neck. 

Finishing with his exploration, he pulled her close and hugged her.  "I am sorry that I frightened you.  I should have realized…" He pulled back and looked into her eyes. "It's rather hard to explain."

Flushing Hermione giggled.  "You don't have to explain, Remus.  I am new to this and thought that you just wanted to…well, you know."

He laughed, the tension ebbing.  "I did and we did," he said giving her a leering look that made her laugh.  It was better this way, he thought.  No need to explain the territorial desire he had felt. "However, I do believe you should get dressed and to breakfast.  I, for one, do not want Madam Pomfrey to walk in on us."

Hermione's eyes went wide as she realized the time.  "Right.  I have to go," she said getting out of bed and searching for her clothes.  Remus watched her dress, feeling her shyness. She had been the initiator last night, unashamed of her desire, and her modesty this morning was endearing.

"See you after dinner," she called over her shoulder as she headed out.  Remus shook his head and smiled at her retreating form.  What a mess he had once again created.

****

Hearing a knock on the door, Remus shut the book he was reading.  He took a deep breath, and steeled his resolve again.  What had happened last night would not be repeated.  He had spent the majority of the afternoon scolding himself over his own lack of control.  

Though he wanted Hermione, the animal instinct within him had raised its ugly head this morning.. It had been a long time since that had happened and being with her again would only urge the possessive nature to deepen. 'No, not this time', he argued with himself, he could control any lust that may flare this evening.  He took another deep breath and said, "Come in."

Remus was relieved to see Albus opening the door, his smile warm. Sitting down, Albus pushed his glasses up on his nose, studying the man before him. "You will be leaving in the morning?"

"Poppy has given me a clean bill of health," Remus said brightly.  "I need to get back to business, though I must admit this has been a nice respite."

"I need to ask you a rather personal question, Remus.  How do you feel about Miss Granger?"

Remus raised his eyebrows.  This is not what he had expected.   He put his fingers together in a steeple as he immersed himself in thought.  "I do not know how to answer you, Albus.  Hermione is a bright, beautiful young woman and I care for her very much."

"Do you love her?" The abrupt question startled Remus.

Gray eyes met blue ones. "I love her, like I do Harry and the other children."

Albus leaned back in the chair with an intense look on his face.  "Forgive me, perhaps it was a bit impertinent to ask.  I was just wondering if you thought there might be more there."

"How can you ask Albus?  She is young. What right would I have to love her in another manner?" 

"I agree, she is young, Remus, but matters of the heart no know age boundaries."

This shocked Remus.  "Are you giving me permission to pursue a relationship with Hermione if I so wish?  I would think her parents would have something to say over that matter.  I am old enough to be her father and she is only sixteen, Albus."

"No, I am not suggesting that, Remus.  I only brought this up because there is something I need to tell you.  Something that you may want to think about for the future." Albus looked intently at Remus.  "There is a way to break the bond of the Anima Uigumus."

Remus paled. "You told me there was no counter spell for it."

"In your and Sirius' case there could never be."

"Please just tell me Albus.  If I can spare Hermione from the pain I feel or death should something happen during this war, I need to do it."

Albus smiled kindly at him.  "It is not that simple.  You and Sirius could not break the spell because you could never have a child together."  Albus waited as Remus let the words sink in.   "A child between the two who are soul bonded completes the spell as the offspring bears the essence of the parents.  The intertwined soul is born in the child and the part of the child's soul replaces the missing parts of the parents'.  It is a strong bond but it is very different than that between the adults."

"A child," Remus said softly, shaking his head at that thought. He looked at Albus and shrugged his shoulders. "Still an impossible solution, isn't it?"

Albus chuckled. "Impossible?  I do not see why it should be impossible.  Unless I am mistaken, Hermione is a female and you are a male.  That usually is the only necessary components for such a thing."

Standing, Remus looked at the old man incredulously.  "Merlin's beard.  Are you suggesting that I impregnate a child?  Aren't you the one that lectured me for twenty minutes for having sex with the said child in the first place?  I must commend you on that lecture by the way.  If you gave that spiel at Hogwarts, you would assure chastity within the school," he said sarcastically, listening to Albus chortle.

"Would it Remus?" Albus asked his eyes sparkling.  "I have the feeling it didn't have a lasting effect on you."

Remus opened his mouth and then closed it as his face flushed.  Running his hand through his hair, he turned away from the Headmaster.  He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to look at Albus.

"I, for one, would not want to lose two of the brightest, most caring persons I have had the pleasure of knowing.  And I do not relish the thought of losing another friend," Dumbledore said his eyes bright. "We need you both." 

"But it would incapacitate her to be saddled with a child out of wedlock and she is too bloody young…damn…no, I will not add more to this tragedy."

"I do not suggest this as an answer now, Remus.  Just something to think about for the future, after the war and, of course, when young Granger has graduated.  I wanted you to know about this option and in time share this information with Hermione.  She may want a chance to break the bond."

Remus looked at the old man skeptically.  No matter how much time passed, he could not see it as an option. "I will think about it.  For now it is out of the question."

****

Standing in the shadows in the small garden shed, Hermione was wide eyed as the words she had just overheard sunk in.


	8. Alleviate

Thanks to AprilGrey for beta services/ Thanks for all the lovely reviews

Comfort 

Part VIII

Alleviate-**a** **:** to make (as suffering) more bearable **b** **:** to partially remove or correct

****

"Going in to Hogsmeade tomorrow?" Ron asked Hermione as they headed to the Great Hall for dinner.

"Yes.  I need to buy a few more presents.  Do you think your mom would like a new cookbook?"

Ron shrugged. "You know how mom's are.  They appreciate anything anyone gets them.  I think she's adopted you, Hermione, so if you gave her a stick she would be happy."

"Don't be silly, Ron," Hermione chided, though she was pleased about what he had said.

"How about you, Harry? Going to do some Christmas shopping?" Ron asked, noting how quiet Harry was as they sat down.   

"Suppose."

Ron and Hermione exchanged looks.  Harry had been sullen for the past week ever since Dumbledore had announced that no students would be allowed to stay at Hogwarts over Christmas.  He had withdrawn into a silent mood, only stating he would rather go to the Dursleys than back to Grimmauld Place. 

Hermione sighed and started eating.  She was going to spend Christmas at headquarters since her parents were going on a cruise.  Her mind drifted to Remus, hoping that he would be happy to see her again.  

Their last night in the garden room had been strained.  Hermione assumed it was because of the conversation she had overheard, though he didn't know that she had.  They had talked for a while and Remus bade her goodnight with a chaste kiss.  

For the past six weeks she had thought of him, and of the time they had shared, carefully analyzing her feelings towards him. Her class load kept her busy along with her prefect duties, but often she would stop in the middle of writing an assignment and think of Remus.

_'He said he only loved me like the others_,' she would think sadly. '_But he made love to me.' _

_'A baby?  I have to have to a baby to break the spell?  Remus said that was impossible.  Silly to think of it anyway, not for years.  But is it impossible?'_

_'I am silly to think that he would feel anything towards me.  It was the spell.'_

Her emotions were torn.  '_I am too young to know what love is.  Aren't I?'_

 It had been Ginny who finally helped her decide exactly what those feelings were.

_"Alright. Out with it," Ginny demanded one evening in the common room.  Hermione looked up from her Transfiguration text._

_"Out with what?"_

"Who is he, Hermione?" Ginny asked knowingly.

_"Don't know what you are talking about?" _

_"You have met someone.  I can tell.  Your eyes get this faraway dreamy look at times and a smile crosses your face.  Hermione, you act like someone in love."_

_Hermione looked at Ginny's smug face and smiled, saying nothing._

_'Three more days,'_ she thought as she pushed her food around on her plate.  Maybe when she saw him her muddled thoughts would be clearer. 

****

"What is on your agenda today, Remus?" Arthur asked. 

"I thought I would pop over to Diagon Alley if I am not needed here."

"Nothing happening that I know of," Arthur replied.  "Seems even the other side takes a break during the holidays.  It will be nice to have the kids here.  Makes this bloody mess more tolerable having them underfoot."

Remus agreed, his thoughts straying to one certain brown-eyed girl. They heard someone coming down the stairs and Bill entered the kitchen with a huge grin on his face and went over to his mother.  Molly stopped stirring the soup she was making and looked at him sternly.  "So?"

Kissing her on the cheek, he gave her a big hug.  "False alarm, Mum."

Molly pushed him away, a frown on her face.  "It would have served you right if it wasn't.  Really, I did not raise my children to carry on so." Bill laughed and kissed Molly again.

Bill sat down by Remus and poured a cup of coffee.  Remus eyed him curiously, wondering what had been a false alarm.  

"Arthur,' Molly said huffily, "don't you have anything to say to your son?'

Arthur flushed. "Right.  Now, Bill, you must remember to use your own protection against these things.  I have told you boys time and time again not to count on the woman…" his words trailed off as he saw Molly's bright face, knowing she was getting ready for a fight, "but like I have always said, wait till you're married and you won't have to worry about contraceptives at all," he finished hurriedly.

Remus smiled as he took a sip of coffee.  So that was the 'false alarm'.  Apparently Bill and Fleur had forgotten to use a contraceptive spell…Remus choked and spewed the table with coffee. Thumping him on the back, Bill asked if he was all right.  

"Fine," Remus choked.  "Just went down the wrong way."

"Are you sure you are alright dear?" Molly asked as she wiped up the table.  "You are pale."

"Right as rain," he said brightly, though his mind was racing.  _He couldn't have forgotten, surely he had_…Remus groaned inwardly realizing that indeed he had not cast a contraceptive charm that night in the garden room.  There was nothing to do now but wait and ask Hermione if everything was all right.  It was going to be a long three days.

****

Remus smiled politely at the goblin's disdainful look.  The rare times he had visited Gringotts it was always the same.  The goblins did not think someone dressed as he was in his patched and worn robes was worth the effort to take to the vaults.  Yet politeness had to be maintained and Remus soon found himself standing before his family vault after a gut-wrenching ride in the trolley used to transport customers to the lower depths.

He knew there was no money in the vault.  There hadn't been in ages.  What it did hold was mementos of his childhood and one in particular was his goal today.  After the door was unlocked, the goblin stepped aside to give Remus privacy.  Stepping into the cold dark room, Remus was startled as the light glimmered off a small pile of gold. 

There had to be a mistake, although the goblins were the most careful keepers of money in all the realms.  He saw a sealed envelope propped up against the money with his name scrawled across it. Picking it up, his heart lurched as he recognized the handwriting.  Padfoot.

Taking a deep breath, he tore it open and unfolded the parchment inside.

_Moony,_

_If you are reading this, then I have taken that last adventure.  I hope you are holding up, my friend, and please do not go into one of those dark depressive modes of yours.  We all have to go sometime. I hope I went out with honor at least.  _

_I am writing this as I stare at the walls of my prison, in this place that was once my so-called home. Albus suggested I update my will, wonder if he knows something I don't, and since I have nothing better to do-- here it is._

Now I know you, Remus. I can just hear you, saying how you do not need this money and it should be given to someone else. Bollocks.  I have left half I own to Harry and have divided the rest between you, and Molly and Arthur.  I figure if you are reading this that I have died before any resolve has come about over Voldemort, as I plan to rewrite this damn thing again once the war has ended.  I want to be sure that the kids are taken care of.  

_Do me a favor, Remus.  Look out for Harry.  It was the happiest day of my life that night when he found me and believed my story.  It was almost like having James back with us.  Harry has too much on his shoulders and it is a damn shame.  My only regret is that I am not there to help him, but I know you will carry on in my place. _

_I will miss you, my friend, and await the time we can be together again.  Just don't be in a hurry for a reunion._

_Remember this, Remus, that I truly loved you,_

_Sirius_

A tear slipped down his cheek as Remus carefully folded the letter and put it in his robes. _How well you knew me, Padfoot old friend.  I do not want your money, but I will accept it because you wanted it that way. _

Remus went to a small shelf and picked up a dusty jewelry box.  Opening it, he rummaged through the pictures of his parents and other mementos until he found what he was looking for.  Smiling, he slipped it in his pocket next to the letter. 

****

Number 12 Grimmauld was filled with the smells of holiday baking and lighthearted conversation.  Molly was in her element fussing in the kitchen as her extended family decorated the house, laughing and chatting.  Tonks and Mundungus had volunteered to help that evening and stay for dinner after they had brought the children from the train station. 

As Hermione and Ginny lugged their bags up to their room on the third floor, she wondered why Remus had not been at the station to escort them the few blocks to the house.   

Dinner was festive. Mundungus was regaling everyone with a tall tale of how he had acquired a dozen flying carpets from an old Arabian sheik.  The only problem was that the carpets were afraid of heights and refused to go higher than three feet off the ground. Molly had made a plum pudding and Hermione had just taken her first bite of the delicious dessert when she felt a surge of panic running through her.  Closing her eyes, she waited.  Her heart was racing and she felt the adrenaline flow over her, then a blinding rage.  Clutching her spoon, she opened her eyes and looked around the kitchen.  Everyone was busy eating his or her pudding, talking and smiling.  She wanted to scream at them that something was wrong. But why would they believe her?  Only Harry knew that she had a connection to Remus and this time Dumbledore was nowhere in sight.   

A few more minutes passed, her adrenaline rush lessened and she breathed a little easier.  A strong surge of guilt flooded over her.  Hermione couldn't stand it any longer and tried to catch Harry's attention when Snape entered the kitchen. His face was set and he walked purposely towards Arthur.  Tonks and Mundungus were on their feet watching him intently. 

Snape said a few words to Arthur.  Molly paled as Tonks put a hand on her shoulder.  They started towards the door as Arthur turned back to the table. "Finish your dinner.  I do not want any of you leaving this room, do you understand?" Arthur said sternly.  "Dung stay and make sure they obey." 

"What's that all about?"  Ron asked once the others had left the room.

Mundungus pulled out his pipe and absently puffed on it.  "You kids eat up.  Nothing to be concerned about," he said, though his brow furrowed.  The room was silent.  Mundungus took a few more puffs then stood up.  "You kids stay here.  I'll be right back."

"Something has happened," Ginny whispered, her face pale.

"We won't find out sitting here. Come on," Ron said getting up.  Hermione, Harry and Ginny followed.

They crept up the stairs, stopping in the shadows at the top of the stairs.  The entrance door opened and they saw Moody and Remus enter supporting someone between them.  "Bill!" Molly cried. The portrait of Sirius' mother starting wailing at Molly's outburst. "Scum, traitors."  

"Take him to my room—it's the closest," Remus instructed as he and Moody tried to close the drapes on the painting.

"You think Bill's okay?" Ginny asked quietly.

"I am sure he is," Hermione assured her.    

"Well, I want to know for sure," Ron said as Remus and Moody disappeared into Remus' room. They crept quietly past the portrait and stopped next to the open door.

"Oh, Bill." Molly's voice was high and tearful. 

"Mum," Bill said, his voice groggy.  "I am okay.  Really.  See, it's not that bad."

Hermione heard Ginny's sigh of relief.

"How did this happen?" Arthur asked. 

"It would not have happened if someone had followed the plan," Snape's voice was low and condescending

"Leave it, Snape," Moody growled.  "It happens to everyone."

"Really?  I thought that Lupin was above such things."

"No harm done," Bill said.  He sounded tired. "I knew you had to do what you thought best, Remus, just as you did Severus.  Just wasn't expecting your attack."

"When Lupin failed to attack me, I had to react."  Snape's tone was defensive.

"You attacked my son?" Molly's voice rose even higher.

"Molly," Moody's voice was gentle "Severus had to.  He could not stand there and do nothing.  It would have blown his cover if he had let us take out the Death Eaters without a fight." 

"It was my fault, mum," Bill said.  "I saw Severus casting a spell and I feinted to the right.  Didn't know he had already aimed it to the right and fell right into it."  

"No," Remus said quietly.  Hermione's heart lurched as she felt his sadness.  "Molly, it was my fault.  I got sidetracked.  Severus and I were to duel while the others took care of the rest of the Death Eaters.  I allowed myself to turn away from the plan."

"Foolish," Snape said in a low voice.  "Not following through with the plan could have cost us everything and all you can offer is a feeble apology." Hermione felt Remus' guilt and it saddened her. Damn Snape for making him feel worse.  

"Bill will be just fine, Molly," Moody was saying.  Just lost a little blood before we could get him out of there."  

"Probably just knocked a little sense into him," Mundungus interjected.

"Dung, what are you doing here?" Arthur said sharply.  "I thought I told you to keep the children in the kitchen."

"They will stay. Just wanted to know what happened."

"Stay will they?"  Moody's gruff voice said.  "Seems to me they are standing out in the hall and have overheard everything we said.  Might as well let them come on in."

"You children get in here!" Arthur's voice was stern.  They entered slowly into the room. "Thought I told you to stay below."

"Sorry dad," Ron said, his face paling as he saw Bill. Bill's robes were caked in blood.  His face was pale and a large gash ran the length of his forehead. Molly was hovering over him.

"Mum, please," Bill said, jerking away from Molly's hand as she prodded the wound.  "It's been clean and will be fine in the morning if you will just let me rest."

"You okay, Bill?" Ginny asked timidly. 

"Just fine, little sister," Bill said with a smile. "Just a small cut to the head.  Really."

"I suggest we all leave him alone for now," Moody said.  "It's been a long evening."

Molly smoothed Bill's hair back and straightened up.  "I have dinner on the stove."

"Food sounds wonderful, Molly," Moody said.  

Snape politely declined and with a sneering glance at Lupin left.  Tonks, Moody and Mundungus followed Arthur out of the room.

Hermione finally looked at Remus.  He looked weary and Bill's blood had stained his robes. Raising his head, his eyes caught hers.  Giving her a slight smile, she felt his melancholy and guilt and she longed to give him a hug, but was ushered out of the room by Mrs. Weasley.

"To bed now," Molly said, her tone letting them know there was no use arguing.  "No more sneaking about."

****

Remus poured another cup of coffee and sat staring at the fire.  He resisted the urge to find Dung's stash of whiskey and lace the coffee.  Rubbing his forehead, he sighed heavily.  

Severus was right-- he had almost blown it.  He had allowed his emotions to overrule his common sense. 

It had been so simple.  Severus had brought word that there was to be an attack on Daniel Lecher, a wealthy wizard who had supported Voldemort before the fateful day at the Potters.  The man had claimed he was reformed and when Voldemort had returned he had refused to support the Dark Lord's cause.  Remus, Bill, Moody and Kingsley were to help defend the Lechers.  Remus' part was to keep Severus busy with a feigned duel to keep the other Death Eaters from growing suspicious. 

They had arrived at the Lecher's mansion to a furious battle between the Lechers and six Death Eaters.  Remus had spotted Severus immediately and had been ready to start their duel when he heard it.  A Death Eater was casting the killing curse and he watched mesmerized as a young woman, the Lecher's daughter, fell when the green light hit her.  The high cackle of the masked Death Eater flowed over Remus, as did a murderous rage.  Lestrange.  Ignoring Severus' hiss, Remus had leapt over the fallen girl and had taken off after Bellatrix.  

He had chased her up the massive stone stairway, dodging her spells as he had tried to stun her.  In the long hallway, Remus had caught her with the Expelliarmus charm and her wand had flown into his hand.  Finally Remus had her cornered in a small bedroom where a crying toddler sat in the middle of an ornate crib.  She had grabbed the child and ran out onto the balcony.  

Bellatrix had held the child's neck between her hands, daring Remus to come closer.  In the end he had to toss her wand to her.  With a wild laugh, Bellatrix had thrown the child over the railing and appartaed.  He had barely cast the spell to slow the toddler's fall in time.  The child had received a broken leg but was alive. 

He had ran back downstairs to find the other Death Eaters had Apparated and Bill bleeding heavily from a deep cut to the forehead.  He had hit the sharp corner of the fireplace's mantel when Severus had hit him with a spell.

Never had Remus allowed his emotions to get in the way as he had tonight.  When Bellatrix had killed the young woman, his mind filled with rage.  Visions of Sirius' fall had flooded his mind and his single thought was to capture the woman who had killed him. 

Thanks to his recklessness, he had endangered the toddler, caused Bill to get injured and allowed the Death Eaters to escape.  Sighing, Remus stared into the fire.

****

She found him there, sitting at the kitchen table alone, just as she had months ago.  Hermione had not been able to go to sleep, feeling Remus' distress.  After Ginny had fallen to sleep, Hermione had crept downstairs to try to find him.  It seemed she was drawn straight to the underground kitchen. His eyes met hers and in moments he had her in his arms.  Crushing her tightly against his chest, Remus clung to her like a drowning man to a life preserver.


	9. Passion

AN/Thanks to AprilGrey for excellent beta services.  The following chapter has fluff and lemons with a touch of angst thrown in.  Stir well and enjoy.  Thank you for reading and reviewing you are much appreciated…truly.

Comfort IX. 

Passion-a : ardent affection : LOVE b : a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept c : sexual desire d : an object of desire or deep interest

****

"Morning Hermione."

Hermione rolled over to see Ginny getting dressed.  "Morning." 

Hermione stretched languidly, wondering how she had come to be in the room she shared with Ginny.  The last thing she had remembered was sitting in Remus' lap, feeling safe and warm with his arms around her. 

They had talked for hours. He poured his heart out to her about the mission that had left Bill injured, and then he asked her about the last weeks.  She could feel his anxiety as she talked about school.  Finally he had asked her if her menses were on schedule.  Flushing hotly, she had muttered they were.  Remus had gently brought her chin up to look in her eyes. "Please don't be embarrassed Hermione.  It is natural and a part of you."  Then he had explained why he had questioned her. She felt flustered that they hadn't even thought about contraceptives that night and was thankful that nothing had happened.

 Ginny and Hermione entered the kitchen and were thrilled by the wonderful smells of the Christmas Eve dinner Molly was already working on.  Harry, Ron, Bill, Arthur and Remus were eating oatmeal and toast. Bill's color had returned and he was talking animatedly with his dad.

Good mornings were exchanged and Hermione smiled when Remus gave her a covert wink.  

Ron and Harry were discussing the new novelty items that the twins had promised to show them that evening when they came to dinner.  They were interrupted by Remus who asked Harry to accompany him to Diagon alley that morning.  

"Why?" Harry asked.  

"I have important business there and it concerns you, Harry," Remus said lightly, with a smile on his face.  Arthur and Molly were also both smiling at Harry now, and Hermione assumed they knew what was going on.

****

Remus and Harry entered Diagon Alley through the wall behind the Leaky Cauldron.  Harry did not look around at the festive decorations adorning the shops.  Last minute shoppers were bustling in and out of the stores. "It's hard being at the house, isn't it Harry?" Remus said empathetically as they walked towards Gringotts. "Holidays are the hardest."

"Yeah," Harry mumbled.

Remus sighed, wishing he knew what he could say to Harry to help him.  No one felt Sirius' absence as much as Remus did, but he also realized that Harry felt it in a different manner.  

After telling the goblin that they wished to go to Harry's vault, they were off on a gut-wrenching ride.  "Why do we need to go to my vault?" Harry asked during the ride.

"You will see."

Soon they stood outside the Potter's vault. "I don't understand why you wanted me to come here," Harry said, as he unlocked the vault door.  

"If the answer isn't in here, I will explain later," Remus said with a small smile.  Entering the vault, Remus' eyes widened as he saw the stacks of gold.  He knew the Potters had been well off but still it surprised him. Remus scanned the room quickly and saw what he was looking for, the envelope.  "Harry," he said, softly getting the boy's attention. 

Spotting the envelope, Harry went to pick it up.  Remus watched his eyes widen as he looked at it. "It's from Sirius," Harry said, with a tremor in his voice.  

"Yes.  Do you want to read it here or wait till we get back?" Harry caressed the envelope, and then put it in his jacket pocket. 

Although the walk back to Grimmauld Place was fast paced, Remus was impressed with Harry's patience.  Harry ran upstairs leaving Remus with the hope that the letter would bring some peace to the boy.

****

Though the Christmas dinner was usually served around noon or teatime on Christmas day, tonight it was a supper occasion for Molly wanted her extended family and her family to enjoy the feast.  Bill was leaving tonight after the meal to join Fleur in France.  George and Fred had said they would be unavailable Christmas day and refused to say why.  

The table was gaily decorated with ribbons and pinecones.  It was full of delicious smelling food, roasted goose with onion stuffing, cranberry sauce, small potatoes in herb butter, golden roasted carrots drizzled with brown sugar and creamy butter, and soft warm yeast buns.  Warm mulled wine sat on the stove and Christmas puddings, rich and succulent, waited for dessert. 

Remus entered while talking to Moody, who had just arrived along with Tonks, Mundungus and Kingsley.  Upon seeing Remus, Harry broke off his conversation with the twins and approached him. Harry and Remus stepped away from the others.  "Thanks," Harry said offering his hand, which Remus shook heartily. 

"Anytime."  Remus' heart felt lighter as Harry smiled at him, the first genuine smile he had received from the boy since Sirius' death.

"Sit, sit," Molly demanded bustling around the table filling everyone's glasses. Startled by a soft tingling above her, she looked up to see a sprig of mistletoe dancing over her head. "What's this?"

Fred laughed. "Mum, don't tell us you have never seen mistletoe before?"

"Must not have," George said. "Well, it is a plant used in various potions…"

"I know what it is," Molly snapped, trying to push the mistletoe away as it began to dance up and down in front of her face.  It buzzed around her face like an annoying gnat.  The boys snickered.

"Alright you two," she said in exasperation knowing that it was some novelty from their store. "I don't have time for this nonsense."

"What nonsense?  George, do you see some nonsense lying around?"

"Fraid not Fred, but I do believe that the mate to our 'Kiss Kiss' mistletoe is buzzing Dad."

"Ah," said Arthur smiling, swatting at another sprig of mistletoe fluttering around his face. "I believe Molly I owe you a kiss."  He walked over to his wife and kissed her lightly on the cheek. There was a loud noise like someone passing gas and Molly and Arthur saw flecks of black falling from the mistletoes. 

"Seen better action from old Filch," George proclaimed as Ginny and Hermione giggled.

"Takes more than that to get that annoying thing to go away," proclaimed Tonks who let out a snicker.  "Those hooligans of yours caught me with it in their shop the other day."

"Show us what you got Dad," encouraged Ron, sniggering also.

Arthur grinned at Molly before pulling her close and kissing her long and thoroughly.  There was a tinkling sound and gold dust fell from the mistletoe. 

"Enough," moaned Bill holding his head in mock pain.  "How shall I ever recuperate from such a sight?"  The table erupted with laughter.

Molly straightened her apron, her cheeks flushed. "Now if we are finished with this silliness…" She stopped as the mistletoe now was fluttering over Hermione's head.  "George, Fred, turn that thing off."

"Sorry mum.  It's got to run its course.  Wants to make sure each lady in the room has a proper holiday kiss."

"Yeah," Fred said. "Great at parties when there are a lot of wallflowers.  It was our biggest selling item."

"Thanks," Hermione said scornfully. "I always knew I was a wallflower." Ron sniggered.

The second mistletoe fluttered around the males in the room, hovering close to Moody who glared at it with his magical eye.  The mistletoe shivered and moved to the opposite side of the table, finally resting over Harry's head.

Harry and Hermione blushed as the mistletoe buzzed around them. "Well do get on with it, Harry," Arthur said smiling.  "I am hungry."

Harry stood and walked over to Hermione.  His mouth pressed against hers in a brief kiss.  The mistletoes hesitated then there was a tinkle and white flecks fell over them.

"Ah, how sweet," Tonks snorted. "Sugar."

"I think I should have stayed at home," Mundungus interjected though he had a broad smile on his face. 

The mistletoe had Ginny giving Moody a kiss on the cheek to which he mumbled something that sounded like a curse.  The mistletoe went to hover over Tonks. Again its mate circled the table looking for a male victim.  Finally it settled over Remus' head. 

Tonks stood up and walked over to Remus. "Better get on with it, mate," she said winking. Remus blushed and rose.  He bent his head and gave Tonks a chaste kiss on the lips.  The mistletoes rustled and the sound of a blowing raspberry filled the air along with smelly brown flecks.

"Pheew," George exclaimed. "Lupin that has got to be the worst reaction we have gotten from them." Ever one snickered, except Hermione who felt bad for Remus as his face flushed. 

"Very well then," he said lightly, putting his arms around Tonks waist and kissing her a bit more thoroughly. 

Tonks' face was flushed and they both watched the mistletoe.  The two plants seemed to be in consultation then another sound of expelling gas filled the room.

"Come on, boy," Moody growled. "The food's getting cold."  

Remus shrugged his shoulders, smiled sheepishly and took Tonks' face in his hands.  He kissed her open mouthed, very long and hard, bringing a moan from Tonks as the boys whooped and Ginny giggled.  Hermione flushed, and then looked down at her plate, feeling miserable.  Arthur cleared his throat and they broke the kiss. 

The mistletoe shook itself and gold glitter fell over the couple, the leaves exploding afterwards.

"Bout time," Moody grumbled as he tucked in. 

****

It was almost one am when Hermione rapped softly on his door.  In seconds the door was flung open.  Remus stood there shirtless, his trousers only half done up, as it appeared he had thrown them on in a hurry and he held his wand in his hand.  "Hermione, come in. Is there something wrong?" he asked, a grin appearing as he ran a hand through his tousled hair. She had a wild fear that he may have been occupied, perhaps Tonks had joined him in his room, but she would have felt something, wouldn't she?

She stepped shyly into the room, carrying her package. He smiled warmly at her. "I wanted to give you this," she said in a rush, thrusting the parcel at him.  Her cheeks flushed.  "I got you a gift for tomorrow but I –this-well, I just wanted to give it to you in private."

Remus smiled. "Thank you," he said, not opening the present yet.  "Actually, there was something I wanted to give you also.  It is sort of personal."

Hermione grinned. "You first."  Anxiously she watched him unwrap her gift.  She had felt a bit foolish wanting to hide the fact that she had knitted a jumper for Remus, but she couldn't imagine trying to explain to Ron or Harry why she was doing so.  It had been a labor of love and hair pulling.  So many times had she had to unravel part of it and try again.  

He held up the blue gray jumper, and then slipped it on.  Hermione expelled her breath. At least it had fit. Remus looked at her curiously then he understood. "You made this?  Hermione, thank you." He caressed the soft wool.  "I will think of you every time I wear it. Now it is your turn.  Close your eyes."  

Closing her eyes, Hermione smiled as she heard him walk across the room and then return.  She felt something thin and cool rest against her neck as Remus lifted her hair.  "Happy Christmas, Hermione," Remus said, kissing her cheek.

A long golden chain rested around her neck, a pendant lay between her breasts. Hermione lifted the pendant.  In the gold filigree a green blue stone rested.  The stone had a stripe of yellow running down the center that seemed to glow and wink at her. "It's called a Mystic Cats Eye, a moonstone." His voice was low and barely audible. "It belonged to my mother." 

"It's beautiful," Hermione said softly.  "Are you sure you want me to have it?"

Remus brushed a wisp of hair away from her forehead, his gray eyes smoky as he looked into hers. "Of course." His fingers touched her cheek softly. 

Her smile was radiant and her eyes shining.  Remus had felt her distress at supper when he had kissed Tonks and it had hurt him that he had done that to her.  It had been Hermione he wanted to kiss and he wanted her to know this. "You know, I was very thankful that it was Tonks and not you the mistletoe chose."

Hermione's eyes widened and she felt queasy.  "I see."

Remus smiled.  "For if it had been you," his voice was low and seductive and Hermione shivered, "I would have made a spectacle of myself." He kissed her forehead.

"Why's that?" she asked, a mischievous grin crossing her face.

"Because," his lips brushed hers, "if I had started kissing you," he ran his tongue across her lower lip, "I wouldn't have been able to stop." he finished bringing his mouth down to hers and kissing her passionately

Hermione's heart sung as she kissed him back, her arms going around his neck as their kissed deepened, tongues dancing and caressing. 

 "You should be going."

"Yes," she murmured between kisses

"Well, good night." His voice was muffled as his mouth caressed her neck

Hermione moaned softly. "Good night."

"Sweet dreams." Remus was nibbling on her ear.

"I guess I better go," she said running her hand beneath his jumper.

"Absolutely," he said untying her robe and slipping his hand in to cup her breast.

"Maybe in a minute," Hermione sighed as their lips met once more. Remus kissed her passionately, pulling her lower lip into his mouth, sucking on it before teasing her tongue into his.  

"Perhaps in an hour or so," he said huskily, as he swung her up in his arms and carried her to his bed.

****

"Happy Christmas," she said shyly.  She was snuggled close to his chest, feeling his still rapid heartbeat, the sweat on their bodies drying in little salt paths.

"A very happy one indeed," Remus agreed, his hand tracing up and down in the valley between her breasts where the moonstone glowed in the dim light. His mouth soon replaced his hand.  Hermione giggled

"What?" he asked in mocked indignation.

"Are all men like you?" 

He sat up and looked at her curiously.  "I am afraid I don't understand what you are asking," he said with a grin.  "Explain please."

She blushed.  "Forget I mentioned it."

Raising an eyebrow, Remus smiled.  "Tell me or I shall tickle it out of you."

"No," she giggled scooting away from his fingers.

"Tell me," he laughed tickling her.

"Stop it," she gasped, laughing.  "I will, I will."

Remus chuckled and wrapped her in his arms, holding her close as she rested her head against his chest.  He felt her shyness.  

"We…it has only been minutes …and I feel your desire again. I mean…even if I couldn't, it is pretty evident," she said slyly, her hand snaking down to grasp him.  Remus moaned.

"Hermione, I can not speak for other men, but when I am with you, I find myself wanting to be near you, in you," his voice was soft and caressing, sending a ripple of pleasure through her.  "Even if we have just made love, I long to taste and touch you again.  I have an insatiable hunger for you. Forgive me if my needs are a bit much." 

She rolled over and looked at him.  His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were sparkling.  "No, I understand what you mean," she said softly her hand stroking him, as he gasped lightly.

"Hermione," he whispered as his mouth claimed hers, his hand closing over hers, guiding her in her stroking.

Hermione felt his desire and a surge of accomplishment ran through her.  She loved bringing him so much pleasure, loved feeling his pleasure mingled in her.  

****

The two weeks passed too quickly for Hermione.  Exhaustion tinged her waking moments, but it was a happy content exhaustion.  She had crept down to Remus' room every night.  Concerned for her, he had told her to stop more than once which she stubbornly refused.  Not that they made love every night.  Sometimes they just held each other, basking in the warmth of the heat of their bodies in the cold, dreary place. 

Remus had become melancholy as the day fast approached when she would be leaving.  He had told her the previous night that this had to end.  That he had no right to shag a mere child.  Hermione had been hurt at his words but understood he was trying to protect her.  She knew that their relationship would not be congenially received if it were known.

Now it was the last night.  Her bags were packed and she and the others would be leaving in the morning to take the Hogwarts Express to school.  Remus opened the door and stepped aside.  Hermione felt his sadness and his guilt as he stood there not looking at her, his gaze on a place above her head. "Hermione," he said lightly. "You will be tired in the morning.  Perhaps you should go back to bed."

Walking over to him, Hermione laid her hand on his arm. "Remus, I will go to bed, here with you." She felt his guilt as he looked at her, his clear gray eyes bright.

"No," he said, picking up a curl that lay on her shoulder, caressing it. "Hermione, I shouldn't have allowed you to be in my room, ever.  It isn't right and I don't want you, or me," he added softly, "to be hurt by all this."

"I never plan for either of us to be hurt," she said as she moved her hand up his arm to stroke  the hair that lay against his neck.  "We enjoy each other's company. Is that so terribly wrong?" Her arms encircled his neck.

"Hermione, no. No more. It will just make things more confused…"she stopped him with a kiss, her arms tightening around his neck.  Remus moaned. If the door had flung open with the whole household at Grimmauld Place bursting in, at that moment Remus wouldn't have cared.  He pulled her to him, kissing her like a starving man at a feast, sweeping her up in his arms.

"This isn't a game anymore," he said huskily as he carried her to the bed.  "I cannot keep making love to you and pretend it doesn't matter."  She nodded as he laid her down.  

"I know-- I am falling in love with you."

He groaned at the implications of her words though they rushed like fire through him.  'She is too young', he argued with himself, though he knew it was a losing battle as he crushed her mouth with his once more. "I love you Hermione, Merlin help me I shouldn't but I do. I want you, Hermione," he murmured, nuzzling her neck.

"Yes," she sighed in pleasure as he undressed her.  

"Witch." His voice was thick with passion.  No longer did he feel the twinge of guilt as their bodies molded together, her warmth surrounding him, pulling him into the depths of pleasure.  The more he had her, the more he wanted, his hunger renewed each time he touched her. Vaguely he thought the spell may be responsible, but he no longer cared.  

"Sweet, so sweet," he whispered as he kissed her, softly, teasingly, as his body rocked into hers.

Their eyes locked as Remus increased the pace, sweat beading on his forehead. "I love you," he mouthed as he rose up, his hands sliding down her legs, bringing them up until he draped them over his upper arms. As he pressed down to claim her mouth, driving deep into her, feeling her opening more fully to him. The sensation brought a moan of pleasure from both of them. 

Mouths locked together, their lovemaking became intense, the acknowledgment of their feelings bringing a crescendo to the act.

****

Arthur walked quietly down the hall.  It was almost two a.m. and he knew Molly would be waiting up for him.  He smiled as he thought of his wife.  She was a strong woman and he longed to lay in her warm arms tonight.  He was very tired.  It was always like that during the holidays.  Wizards often sold toys and other gadgets to the Muggles for Christmas gifts and though they seemed harmless at first, it always led to his department being called out to deal with the enchanted items.

Passing Remus' door, he heard a noise that made him pause. It was unmistakable.  Arthur flushed as he heard the springs of the bed squeaking and the soft moans and grunts.  'Remus, you sly dog,' he thought, embarrassed.  He would have to remind Lupin to put a silencing charm on the room like he and Molly did in case the children were wandering the halls. 

'Must be Tonks,' he thought.  She was young and pretty and Remus seemed to hit it off with her.  He started to move away when he heard Remus' voice full of passion. "Hermione."

 'Surely not.' Arthur's heart was beating fast.  'Must be hearing things.'

Arthur pressed his ear to the door.  Then he heard her.  Icy water flowed through him when he recognized Hermione's voice as she cried out Remus' name.  'What to do?' He thought of kicking in the door. Counting to ten he headed up the stairs to find his wife to help him sort this out, his face red with anger.  

****

Remus gently brought her trembling legs down, then lay on her, keeping his weight light. He kissed her over and over, shivering from the emotions running through him. Finally he paused and looked into her eyes.  They were bright, and a gentle smile was on her lips.  He tried to speak, but couldn't get the words out as he felt his throat constrict.  To hell with being proper. He loved the girl and didn't want to let her go.

"Hermione, I…" he paused as there was a sharp rap at the door.

****

AN/ 

Mystic Cats eye

Birthstone for June, moonstone was very popular among the Romans, who thought it to be beams of moonlight captured within a gem. In India it was, and still is, considered a sacred gemstone. The most valuable variety of feldspar, moonstone has a beautiful iridescent effect known as adularescence. Moonstones come in a variety of colors that range from colorless to silver, to yellow, green, pink or golden brown. 

Copy and paste link to see picture of a Mystic Cats eye stone

=

PSPS: Sorry for the slower updates to this story and my others.  Have been having major health problems.  Thanks for your nice and kind reviews.


	10. Rebellion

AN/ Big thanks to April Grey for beta services and thank you for reviewing.

Comfort Part X

Rebellion** b** **:** an instance of such defiance or resistance

****

Remus pulled on his trousers and put his finger to his lips.  Hermione nodded and buried beneath the pile of covers on the bed.  Walking quickly over to the door, Remus opened it to find Arthur and Molly standing there.  "Arthur, is something wrong…"

He was interrupted as Molly pushed by him.  Remus looked at Arthur warily, noting the flushed, angry glare on his face.  "If I could have a word with you in the kitchen, Remus…" Remus glanced at Molly and started towards her as she approached the bed with deliberation.  Arthur's hand on his arm stopped him.  

Molly reached the bed and jerked on the pile of covers.  Hermione gasped as she saw the furious looking face of Mrs. Weasley and attempted to cover herself as the cold air hit her naked body.  "Get dressed Hermione!" Molly said, her lips tight.

"Lupin, come with me.  We need to talk," Arthur said quietly.

"No," Remus said calmly, turning to look Arthur in the eyes.  He saw the anger in them and he was surprised he didn't care.  "If we are to talk, then we 'all' will talk.  Whatever you have to say to me and whatever Molly wants to say to Hermione, will be said to both of us."

"Lupin," Arthur's voice was tight, his face turning red.

Molly and Hermione came over to the men.  Remus felt Hermione's distress and he reached out to take her hand, ignoring Molly's red face and before she could start he spoke smoothly.  "If you are going to yell at me, Molly, I suggest that we take it down the hall to the study so we won't awaken Mrs. Black."

"Fine," she said through clenched teeth, grabbing Hermione's upper arm and jerking her away from Remus.  They all followed Remus down the hall.

Molly motioned Hermione to take a seat and Arthur pointed to a chair on the far side of the room for Remus to take.  Apparently neither Weasley planned to sit as they stood between them.  Molly's head swept back and forth looking reproachfully at each of them.  "Arthur," she said her voice high, "I think you need to find out what happened."

Arthur nodded and cleared his throat.  He looked at Hermione and then turned to look at Remus.  "How long has this been going on?"

Remus looked at him steadily. "That is between myself and Hermione, Arthur.  Surely that is not the question you wish to start with?  I shall help you.  'How could you Lupin?  What were you thinking shagging a child?  Are you insane?'  Does that help?" he said, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"How dare you!" Molly shrieked, but Arthur held up his hand to quieten her. He turned to look at Hermione who sat there curled up in the chair, her eyes wide.

"Did he force you?"

"No, of course not.  It was mutual," she said in disbelief.  "Remus would never…"

"But he did.  Don't you understand?  Hermione, you are underage and no matter if it felt consensual it was still rape."

Hermione felt the anger surge through her.  "NO! I told you it was mutual and I am of age to choose to have –to have –sex if I so desire." She felt her cheeks flaming.

"It could not be mutual; he is an adult and you are just a child."

Her mouth opened though nothing came out.

"You heard what she said, Arthur," Remus said defensively, hating the shame and hurt Hermione was feeling.  "It was mutual and really none of your business."

"None of our business?" Molly shouted.  "The child is under our care while she is here and I thought you were to look out for her welfare also.  How could you hurt her so, Remus?" Molly's face crumpled and she let out a sob.

Remus flinched. "I apologize, Molly, if I have not lived up to your expectations, but I did Hermione no harm."

"No harm?" Arthur said incredulously.  He shook his head and looked at Remus sadly. "You have lost my respect, Remus."

"For that I am sorry, Arthur, but I will not ask forgiveness for what I feel for Hermione."

"Merlin sakes man! She is just a child!"

"No," Remus gaze locked with Hermione's.  "She is much more than that," he said softly.

"I want you out of here, Remus," Arthur said quietly.  "I will not have you under this roof."

"I understand."

"Why?" Hermione cried.  

"I will not have a child molester under the same roof as my children, Hermione." 

Hermione's eyes flashed fire. "He didn't molest me!  I am old enough…"

"It's alright Hermione," Remus said softly, standing now.  "I cannot stay here anymore. It will be better this way."

Hermione watched helplessly as Mr. Weasley escorted Remus out of the room.  With much trepidation, she looked at Mrs. Weasley who had sat down.   Instead of anger Hermione saw only hurt on Mrs. Weasley face.  "I'm sorry," she tried, not sorry about Remus but that she had caused the look on Molly's face.

"I know Hermione," Molly said sadly.  "I remember how it is to be sixteen and in love."

That caught Hermione off guard. "If you know I love Remus why are you and Mr. Weasley so angry?"

"That is just the point, Hermione.  If you were as mature as you think you are, you would know why.  Remus is an adult. He is old enough to be your father, a young father, but your father nevertheless. I knew he fancied someone but I never dreamed it was you."

"You thought it was Tonks," Hermione guessed.

"Maybe.  But that doesn't change the fact that you betrayed our trust Hermione.  Even if you had experimented with sex with one of the boys, being under our roof…"

"It isn't your house," Hermione interrupted, feeling indignant. 

"No," Molly said, her lips tightening again. "However, while you and the other children are here, you are my responsibility.  How would your mother react?"

Hermione was silent.  She wasn't sure her mother would react much differently than Mrs. Weasley, even though she had always been open with her about sex.

"Hermione," Molly said, "I just don't want to see you ruin your life.  What if you got pregnant?"  She looked at Hermione, trepidation on her face. "Please tell me that you at least used a contraceptive charm."

"Yes, we aren't fools," Hermione huffed.

"That's a matter of opinion.  You are too young for such carrying on, Hermione, and I am sure your parents will agree with me.  I plan to owl them tomorrow."

She started to open her mouth to protest, but Hermione knew it wouldn't do any good. "Fine.  If there isn't anything else, I want to go to bed."

Molly eyed her for a moment. "Yes, of course.  And Hermione, I would appreciate it if you would not fill my daughter's head with fancy about your late night treks."

Hermione flushed, feeling like a scag. "No, I will not spoil your daughter, Mrs. Weasley.  Good night."  Hermione got up and raced out the door.  

It wasn't until she started up the stairs to the third floor that the tears started.  She tried to stifle her sobs as she entered the bedroom and crawled into bed, feeling miserable.  Burying her head in her pillow, she let the anger and hurt out.

 "Hermione, are you okay?" she heard Ginny's voice by her bed, then felt the bed sag as Ginny sat down. "Did someone catch you and Remus?"

"What?"

Hermione lifted her head to stare at Ginny who had lit the small candle on the table.

"I know Hermione," Ginny explained, "with you sneaking out every night.  I knew you were going to someone. I thought at first you were seeing Harry, but then I remembered how Remus carried you and put you to bed the first night we were here.  I started watching and saw the little secret smiles you and he shared, how your face lit up whenever he came into a room.  I am right, aren't I?"

Hermione nodded.

"So how bad was it?"

"They caught me undressed in his bed," Hermione said with a groan.

"Oh, I wondered about that," Ginny said grinning. "If you and Remus had, well you know.  But I figured you weren't staying up all night talking."

Hermione tried to smile but hiccupped instead. "Oh Ginny, your dad was so angry.  I have seen your mum angry, but Mr. Weasley scared me.  He has a quiet anger that seems to permeate you."

"I know," Ginny said.  "I have only seen him like that once and I hope never to again.  So what did they do?  I mean they can't punish you, it's not like you are their child."

"Your mum said she was going to owl my mum in the morning and your dad threw Remus out."

"Oh."

"Mrs. Weasley made me feel like—well a harlot.  Told me I was ruining my life and would ruin yours, too, if I told you anything about Remus and me.  I know that it is proper to wait until you're married, but Ginny –I don't know it's hard to explain."

Ginny snorted.  "Don't let her pull that rot on you.  Charlie and Bill told us all about her and dad.  They married the day after she graduated from Hogwarts."  Ginny grinned, "and Bill was born seven months later."

Hermione eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yep.  She tries to make us believe he was just early.  He weighed nine pounds, Hermione.  Aunt Gertie says Bill was almost three weeks late."

Hermione giggled with Ginny, then quickly sobered.  "I know she was just concerned about my welfare, Gin, but I love Remus."  She gasped. "Do you think they will kick him out of the Order for this?"

"Surely not," Ginny said firmly.  "He is one of the best people they have.  I have heard Dumbledore and dad speak about Lupin and they figure without him they would be hard pressed to keep one step ahead of Voldemort." 

Sighing, Hermione felt a bit better.  Still she couldn't help thinking of how horrible it must have been for Remus and wondered how the rest of those in Grimmauld Place would feel if they found out.  It was easier for her; they could always blame it on hormones and excuse her because of her age.  

"Your dad," she said slowly, "called Remus a child molester."

Ginny's mouth fell. "I am sorry, Hermione.  I wont pretend I understand it all, but I know Remus always seemed to be the one who played by the rules and whatever happened between you two—well, I know you and you do not do anything lightly.  I am sure it will all work out."

"Perhaps," Hermione said half-heartedly.  She gave Ginny a hug.  "Thanks."

****

Hermione was very glad to be back at Hogwarts.  She sat at breakfast looking forward to class.  When the post owls flew in, she glanced nervously at them.  It was too soon to receive a post from her parents, but when a small gray owl flew down, landing on her spoon, she felt her stomach sink.  Taking the letter from the owl, she recognized Remus' handwriting and chided herself for thinking it had been from her parents.

Leaving the table, she walked hurriedly to her Arthimacy classroom so she could have time to read Remus' letter before class began.

Hastily she opened the letter.

_Dearest Hermione,_

_Are you all right?  Foolish question I suppose, for I know you are alright, though I wish you had not had to go through what you did last night. I wish I could have spared you._

_I, for one, am glad that this happened.  It put into perspective what I have been denying these past two weeks.  Hermione, you must realize that what we have, what we have been doing, is not going to work.  Arthur was correct.  I am the adult and should behave like one. _

Please know that I love you. I love you as any man does a woman, but you are still a child and I cannot expect anymore from you than that.  I realize that first love is intense at your age, but it is for the best that we end it now.  Again I know it is my fault.  I created this that night in the kitchen and I am torn between wanting to apologize for that and holding it fast to my heart.

_Take care and turn your attention to your studies, which I have no doubt you will.  In time, you will understand and be grateful.  If you ever need me, I will try to be there._

Feel free to write.  I am staying in my old family home and it is safe to owl from here.

_You will always be in my heart and thoughts._

_Remus_

Hermione stared dumbfounded at the letter, tears pricking the corners of her eyes.  How dare him. How dare he decide that she wasn't mature enough to choose whom she loved.  She was torn between wanting to put her head on the desk and crying her heart out or tearing the letter to shreds in anger.  The decision was made for her as Professor Vector entered the classroom, greeting Hermione fondly.

****

Hermione skipped lunch and went to the library to respond to Remus.

_Dear Remus,_

_Are you all right?  I do not believe you are.  You are feeling guilty over what happened last night, but only about the fact of being caught.  I did not feel any guilt when you were making love to me._

How dare you decide for me that I am incapable of loving you because of my age.  I find that insulting and more than that, it hurts.  

_You asked me if I were all right.  I am not all right.  How can I be when the person I love and have chosen to love, regardless of circumstances, has brushed me off?  Was that all I was to you Remus?  Just someone to have sex with?_

Hermione flinched as she wrote that sentence but she was determined to let him know how hurt and angry she was.

_That wasn't fair was it, but it is not fair that you are the only one in this relationship, and yes, it is a relationship, to decide if I am capable of loving you.  _

_I do love you, Remus, and I realize that we may not be a couple forever, but then again who knows.  I only hope you will give us a chance to decide where this is going, my age be damned._

_Love,_

_Hermione_

Feeling satisfied with what she had written, Hermione took her letter to the owlery before she had to rush to Transfiguration.

****

The week passed without any letters for her and Hermione was becoming melancholy.  She supposed that perhaps Remus truly wanted to end it with her, correspondence and all.  Finally, Saturday morning she received not one, but two owls.  Her heart leapt as she recognized the small gray owl and then fell as she saw Errol.  Apparently her parents had finally responded to Mrs. Weasley's notification.

"What's mom writing to you for?" Ron asked, picking up Errol and feeding him a bacon rind.  The old owl hooted gratefully.  

"I owled her and asked her if I had left one of my books at Grimmauld Place, which I found later," Hermione said casually. "Probably just wrote to tell me she hadn't, which of course she couldn't have."

Hermione turned her attention to her letter from her mum thankful her parents did not have the capability to send howlers.  

She scanned the letter and breathed a sigh of relief.  Her mum had written that she was very disappointed in her for embarrassing Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and for having illicit relations in a guest's house.  Her mum had gone on to say she had hoped that she, Hermione, would have waited until she was older to experiment with her sexual feelings.  Hermione got the impression her mother wasn't angry at this, but with being caught by the Weasleys.  What had been a relief was that Mrs. Weasley had not told her mum who she was with, only saying it wasn't with any of her sons or Harry.   Her mum went on to say that she didn't want Hermione staying with the Weasleys any more if the boy she had been with was there.  

_Don't have to worry about that mum, _she thought sarcastically.

Her mum had ended by saying she had not told her father, that men couldn't understand these things about their little girls and that she knew Hermione would be wiser in the future about this.  Though Hermione had signed up to stay at Hogwarts during the spring break, if she wanted to come home to talk about this, she would be glad to discuss it with her woman to woman.

Good old mum, Hermione thought, her heart thumping as she opened Remus' letter.

_Dear Hermione,_

_You are correct.  Forgive me for assuming that your love is immature.  If anyone is immature in this relationship, it is I.  _

_If you are willing to try, then I most definitely want to.  _

_Take care and write soon. I will write more later._

_I love you,_

_Remus_

_PS My owl's name is Chadrick.  He is very happy to finally have letters to deliver._

Though the letter was short, Hermione's face shone with happiness as she tucked her letters away, gave Chadrick her cereal, and followed Ron and Harry to class.  


	11. Diversion

Thanks to AprilGrey for beta services and thanks for all the lovely reviews.  I am overwhelmed.

Comfort Part XI

Diversion** b** **:** to draw or direct (as one's attention) to a different object or in different directions at the same time

****

"Well, that wraps it up for tonight," said Moody, stretching.

"Everyone stay," Molly said, "I have a lovely stew ready and some fresh bread." Her eyes flickered over Remus a moment before she turned her attention to Tonks who was trying to help her. "No dear, I don't need help," she said exasperatedly as Tonks dropped a bowl.

"If everyone will excuse me, I am needed elsewhere," said Snape quietly.  No one expected him to stay and if he ever did they would have checked his forehead to see if he had a fever.  

"Course Snape," Moody said in a gravely voice.  His good eye looked at Lupin.  "Are you leaving us again, Remus?"

"Yes.  Though the stew smells lovely, I also have things to attend to," said Remus quietly. 

Moody's magical eye turned now towards Lupin.  It had been several weeks since Remus had stayed at headquarters.  Like Snape, he was out the door as soon as the meetings were over.  At first he had speculated that perhaps Remus was doing something undercover, but as nothing had ever been reported he now knew that there was something else going on.

"I will walk you out, Remus," Moody said rising slowly.  "Keep a bowl hot for me, Molly."

Remus and Moody walked to the entranceway in silence. Reaching for the door, Remus bade Moody a good evening. 

"You and the Weasleys have had a row," Moody said as quietly as his raspy voice allowed him to. "Was it over the Granger girl?"

His hand on the doorknob, Remus froze.  He turned to look at the old Auror. 

"Don't think I don't know lad," he said gruffly, taking a swig out of his hip flask.  "I stayed here a couple of nights during the holidays and well, I don't sleep very often.  Didn't mean to spy of course, but I thought it prudent to do a quick check of the house  every now and then." 

Moody pointed to his magical eye and Remus remembered he could see through walls and floors with it. Flushing, Remus nodded slightly. "It was determined that I shouldn't stay here and I agreed," he said quietly, waiting for the lecture from Moody over shagging a young girl. 

"None of my business really," Moody continued. "Just don't want to see a rift in our numbers.  In my day a girl of her age was already married and had a child or two, but that was then. Well, good night Remus.  If you need anything…" 

"Thank you, Alastor," Remus said with a small smile.  "It is best for now."

****

Remus lay in bed staring up at the ceiling. 'I really should think about painting' he thought offhandedly, as he noticed the water spots.  

Sighing, he turned over and punched up the flat, feather pillow.  Sleep rarely came easily to him, an annoying side effect of lycanthropy, but now his mind would not stop racing.  In three days he would be picking Hermione up at King's Cross to bring her here, _here_ of all places.   

They had owled letters back and forth weekly and finally after much deliberation it was decided that she would not be staying at Hogwarts for the spring break with the others.  Hermione would tell the others she was going home and her parents thought she was staying at school.  Remus hated the lies and the sneaking around.  Why couldn't they just announce to the world they were seeing each other?

'_Because they would treat her like a nasty piece of filth,'_ he thought bitterly.  It wasn't just their age difference, but it was more the fact he was a werewolf.  A half-breed.  He was listed at the Ministry as a creature, not as a human, regardless of the fact that he was human the majority of the time.  The legislation Umbridge had put into effect several months ago was not going anywhere and he truly doubted anyone had the inclination to change the law.  Basically he couldn't be employed in the Wizarding world with the exceptions of handling dangerous creatures, if he were killed doing so it was no loss, or by a medical or educational facility for the purpose of experimentation on a werewolf. Again, death of the subject was not an issue.

Tension between him and the Weasleys had not lessened.  Remus was angry at this, at the unfairness of it all.  It didn't matter that there was a fifteen age year difference between Bill and Fleur, but it was an issue that there were nineteen years between him and Hermione? Yet he truly doubted if he had brought a sixteen-year-old witch into his bed they did not know, anything would have been said.

Still he didn't blame them.  Hermione was worth protecting.  She was brilliant and had a future before her.  No one wanted him spoiling that for her. And yet he had suggested she come here, to be with him for a week.  Alone and in his arms. '_A bit selfish, Remus'_ he chided himself.

Sighing once more, Remus closed his eyes and tried to sleep. 

****

"What are you going home for?" Ron huffed for the third time that evening.  "You always stay here with us."

"Leave her alone, Ron," Ginny chided.  "She hasn't spent much time with her parents and you know we will all be together this summer."  Ginny gave Hermione a conspiratory wink.

"Besides it will give us time to practice Quidditch all week without someone nagging us about our homework, no offense Hermione," Harry teased.

Hermione smiled at him.  Homework indeed.  She had worked very hard all week to finish all of hers.  She didn't want to think of homework this week, wondering what Harry and Ron would say if they knew that for once in her life her mind wasn't on homework.  "I am going to turn in," she said, faking a yawn.  

"Night Hermione," Harry said.  "Have a good holiday if I don't see you in the morning.  I for one plan to sleep in on the first day of break."

****

Hermione stood between platforms nine and ten, scanning the crowd for Remus.  She had felt him, his pleasure, but still couldn't locate him.  Finally she saw him approaching, and she smiled.  He was wearing the jumper she had knitted for him and black trousers.  '_He is rather handsome_' she thought as she noticed several women turning to look at him as he walked.

"Hermione," he greeted her with a warm smile.  "How are you?"  He kissed her cheek.  

"Fine now," she said, nervous butterflies in her stomach.  They hadn't seen each other in three months.  It had felt like three years to her.  Remus felt her shy nervousness and smiled encouragingly as he took her bag with one hand and grasped her hand with the other.

They walked outside into the bright early spring day.  People were bustling back and forth on the sidewalk, hailing cabs and checking for their rides. "Remus, aren't we taking a cab to your house?" she asked as he led her around the back of the ticket building. 

"It would be a very long ride," he said setting her bag on the ground and disappearing into a large bush.  He returned in moments holding a broom. "We will get there much quicker this way."  

"Oh.  I am not really fond of brooms," she said sheepishly.

"I know.  But trust me, you will be safe and, I do believe, will enjoy the ride.  Do you trust me, Hermione?" 

Hermione looked at him and wanted to tell him she trusted him with all her heart, but could only nod.  Her emotions were strong today and for some reason she felt tears in her eyes. _'I never realized how much I truly love him,'_ she thought as she watched Remus tie her bag to his broom. "Will we have to wait until dark?"  She looked back towards the sidewalk, which was still busy.

"Not at all.  I shall borrow a page from Moody and cast a Disillusionment charm on us."

Harry had told her about the spell Moody had used on him last year when the Order had retrieved him from the Dursleys.  Remus cast the spell on her and she felt like cool water flowed over her.  He then cast the spell on himself.  

"Climb on first and I shall sit behind you."

Hermione mounted the broom gingerly and felt Remus behind her.  He placed one hand in front of her on the broom and the other arm went securely around her waist.  "Ready?"

She started to nod, but realized he wouldn't be able to see her. "Yes."

They were soon soaring high and away from the busy streets of London.  Hermione was apprehensive, but felt secure with Remus' strong arm around her and after a bit she relaxed and leaned back against him.  His arm tightened and she tried to remember to keep her smile close-lipped just in case there was a stray bug.

****

After an hour or so had passed, Hermione noticed they were starting downward.  She saw a small village come into view and they passed over it and finally landed about a half a mile from the quaint shops and cottages in front of small, brown, two-storied cottage. 

As they touched down, she heard Remus say _'Finite'_ and she felt the cool sensation again. Remus helped her off and opened the door.  "Well, it's not much, but welcome to my home." 

The house had seen better days.  Threadbare rugs, a faded sofa that sagged in the middle and a comfortable looking armchair were set in front of a stone fireplace.  A table with three chairs was to the left, leading into a small kitchen.  All the furniture was well worn but clean and the rooms smelled of soap and wildflowers from the bouquet in a jar on the table.

"If you would like to freshen up," Remus said softly, "the bedroom is through that door and the bath is the one next to it."

Hermione looked questioningly at the stairs.  "I am afraid the upstairs is uninhabitable.  The roof leaks as well," he shrugged his shoulders, his cheeks flushed, "repairs have been hard pressed."

Smiling encouragingly at him, Hermione excused herself and went to the bathroom.  It too had seen better days but, like the other rooms, was immaculately clean and fresh.  

Stepping out of the bath, she saw Remus in the bedroom setting her bag on the foot of a large, canopy bed.  Once the hangings had been a deep blue, but were faded in areas that the sun, shining brightly through the window, had touched.  Walking over to the window, she looked out to a picturesque view of a gently sloping hillside that led into a forest.  Hermione smiled when she felt hands on her shoulders.

"It's not much."

"lt's lovely," she said sincerely.

"No," his voice lowering as his fingers brushed the side of her neck. "There is only one thing lovely here." 

Hermione leaned back against him as his lips replaced his fingers.  A shiver ran through her as his desire flowed through her, pushing away the shyness she had been feeling. Turning to him, their mouths met in a bruising kiss as Remus pressed her to him. "I have missed you," he murmured as his mouth trailed across her face, brushing soft kisses.

"Me too," Hermione gasped as his tongue traced around her ear.

Clothes were flung haphazardly across the room as they undressed each other. Remus  kissed each part of her exposed skin, making Hermione giggle and push him away as she tried to remove his clothing.. She felt freer here than she ever had and, relishing the pleasure of seeing him nude, she ran her hands over him. He smiled slyly at her, enjoying her exploration.

Catching her hands, he pulled her down on the bed on top of him, kissing her with hunger. Lifting her easily, he settled her body on his, making them both gasp as they joined.  Remus guided her body with his hands. Hermione braced herself with her hands on his shoulders, biting her lip at the exquisite feelings running through her.  Their coupling was intense and demanding. Rolling her over, Remus took control as Hermione wrapped her legs around his waist, moaning softly as he rocked into her as his mouth caressed hers, his tongue joining in the rhythm of his thrusting.  It didn't take long for the delicious building to engulf her and with a cry Remus joined her as they climaxed together. 

Remus kissed her gently before rolling over, pulling her close to him.  He lifted her chin to look deep into her eyes as his finger traced her lips. "You have totally bewitched me," he chuckled softly.

Hermione blushed shyly, feeling warm and safe.  "I'm glad."

"Having you here will only make it harder to let you go at the end of the week. I may just have to tie you to the bed," he teased, laughing at the interested look on her face. 

The next day was very warm and Remus suggested they go for a walk. Soon they were walking up the hill and into the forest.  Climbing steadily uphill, the forest thinned and Hermione was delighted as they came to an open field, brimming with spring flowers. She sighed as she breathed in the aroma and removed her sweater. The day was so warm that she had opted for a sleeveless dress though she had been glad for the sweater in the cool, dark forest.  

Remus surprised her when he pulled something from the pocket of his trousers and waved his wand.  A blanket and a bag enlarged.  "I thought we might like to lunch," he said sheepishly, his face flushed.  Hermione smiled at his thoughtfulness as he spread the blanket on the soft grass. 

After they had eaten the sandwiches and polished off the pumpkin juice Remus had packed, Hermione sat enjoying the sun with Remus lying down, his head in her lap.  She ran her fingers through his hair as he closed his eyes.

Hermione giggled.  "What?" Remus inquired opening his eyes.

"This reminds me of a Muggle romance novel. A beautiful sunny day, a picnic of sorts, and you lying there." She giggled again.

"And what usually happens in these stories?" he asked with a sly grin.

She grinned.  "Nothing much, just a walk hand in hand, maybe a kiss."

"Is that all?"  Remus sat up.  "Sounds a bit boring if you ask me." He gave her a leering smile and leaned over and kissed her gently.  His lips trailed down her neck to her shoulders.  "Hmm, you taste like sunshine."

Hermione laughed. "And what does sunshine taste like?"

"Fresh air, sweet flowers and you," he murmured kissing his way back to her mouth. His hands moved down her body slowly, touching the fabric of her cotton sundress lightly.  Running his hand beneath her skirt he stroked her thighs until he came to her knickers.  "Annoying things," he said.  

Hermione eyes shone with mischievousness as she raised her hips to allow him to pull her pants off.  He grinned at her and ran his hands up and down her legs.  Lifting her right leg, he began kissing her behind her knee, sending shivers up and down her.  "Remus." She closed her eyes as he continued kissing her legs and then her inner thighs.  Her breath caught as he kissed across her lower abdomen.  Their eyes met a moment and he grinned then lowered his head.  

Hermione gasped when his lips touched her core.  The sensation made her moan and she writhe a bit, wanting him to continue.  He had never kissed her 'there' before.  Continuing with his administrations, Hermione soon felt the delicious release.

Remus rose to his knees and smiled at her, his eyes smoky with desire. "Roll over," he urged.  She obliged and he helped her onto her knees. They sighed in unison as Remus slid into her, the heat and wetness of her body opening willing to him. He rained kisses on her shoulders and neck as he moved within her. "I do love you so very much," he murmured against her neck as he held her, bringing them both to the heights of passion.

"You are wicked," Hermione teased as Remus snuggled her close afterwards.

"Moi? What have I done?"

"What if someone had came upon us?"

Remus laughed. "If they had, I am sure they would have only smiled."

Lying on the blanket, the sun warming them, they chatted for a while before dozing.  When Remus gently shook Hermione awake she noted that the sun had started its lazy descent.  "Time to go," he said softly, picking up the remnants of their lunch.  Hermione stood and frowned looking around in the grass.

"Where are my pants?" 

Remus just whistled as he folded the blanket and reduced it and the bag.  "Remus?"

"You mean this little bit of cloth?" he asked mischievously, pulling out her pants from his pocket.

Hermione reached for them but he held them above his head. "Remus," she said, trying to keep from laughing.  "I don't want to walk around with no pants on."

He laughed and grinned, keeping his arm above his head as she jumped.  "I told you they were annoying things. Besides, I would prefer you walked around with nothing."

"Remus."

His eyes sparkled at her. "If you want them, you have to come get them," he said as he took off.  Hermione laughed, amused at his boyish behavior, and took off running after him. 

She chased him up the hill towards another stand of trees.  Remus would slow down every now and then and allow her to almost catch him, waving her knickers like a flag, before he would easily evade her and head in another direction.  Their laughter rang across the field. 

Remus disappeared over a small knoll and when Hermione reached the top, she saw that he had stopped and was staring at a large, gnarled tree.  She ran up to him and grabbed his arm. "Got you!" she said happily before she felt the emotions flow through her, a mixture of bitterness and sadness.  She looked up at the tree and saw through the new leaves a platform of sorts and noticed boards nailed to the side of the tree leading up to it. "Did you build the tree house?" she asked, apprehensive about the feelings she was receiving from Remus.

Walking over to the tree, Remus ran a hand over the trunk.  "My brother, Roman, built the tree house," he said softly.  

 "I didn't know you had a brother. Did he attend Hogwarts?"

No.  He died when he was seven. I was five at the time."

 "I am sorry, Remus."

They stood there in silence. Hermione slipped her hand into his, waiting for him to speak if he wanted to tell her about Roman. 

 Remus sighed softly. "We had been in the tree house that day, pretending we were pirates sailing the seas.  The sun had begun to sink before we started back to the house. Mum had always warned us not to walk through the forest at night and to be home before it got too late. By the time we reached the forest, it was dusk and the shadows looming amongst the trees frightened me and I jumped when Roman poked me with a stick.  Roman teased me about being afraid.  I got angry and told him to bugger off, that I would find my way home without him and took off running into the woods.  I got turned around and I knew I was lost.  Pride kept me from calling for my brother and I kept walking until the moon was fully in the sky. I was so scared and jumped at every shadow.

"That's when I heard the growl.  I remember that I froze, afraid to move yet I had to look, to see what was behind me. I slowly turned and saw a large gray wolf.  It was staring at me with its bright yellow eyes and I slowly backed up.  For each step I took, it advanced.  Suddenly it leapt and I tried to move but I was not quick enough.  I felt the fangs sink into my shoulder as I fell to the ground thinking I was about to be mauled to death.  There was a thud and the wolf fell back with a yelp and a growl.  I scrambled to my feet to see my brother fighting the wolf. The wolf growled at him but smelling the fresh blood it turned back to me. Roman began beating on its back with a large stick.  The wolf finally turned around to face him. "Run, Remus, go!" Roman shouted.

"I didn't want to, I didn't want to leave my brother, but he shouted at me to run once more and I did.  I ran until I felt my heart would burst, praying that Roman was right behind me.  When I reached the house, I was horrified not to see Roman behind me.  I screamed for my parents and told them what had happened. My father took off immediately while my mother flooed a neighboring wizard to tell him what had happened."

Remus breathed deeply.

"They didn't find his body until the next day." 

Hermione gripped his hand tightly.

"They suspected the wolf that bit me to be rabid or worse.  I was shut in the cellar to be observed.  The night of the full moon, one month to the day I had been attacked, revealed what kind of creature had bitten me. That their son was now a werewolf."

Remus shook his head. "There was little they could do for me although my parents tried.  They spent every knut they had trying to find a way to cure me." He turned to look at her. "In one night of foolishness, I destroyed my family," he said bitterly.

"Remus," Hermione said gently, removing her hand from his and putting her arms around his waist giving him a hug. "You were only five.  It wasn't your fault."

"Perhaps," he said resignedly, before burying his face in her hair as he wrapped his arms around her. 

****

That night Hermione could still feel Remus' melancholy even though he tried to be cheerful.  When they had retired for the night, their lovemaking had been gentle and caressing.  Wanting Remus to know how much she cared for him, Hermione had taken control, making love to him, kissing him everywhere and he had clung to her, moaning her name and telling her he loved her.

They lay in silence.  Remus was tightly holding Hermione.  She snuggled close to him, feeling his heart beat.  Glancing up, she saw his brow knitted and he seemed lost in thought.  She was glad she no longer felt sadness from him and wondered what he was thinking about.

He smiled at her then kissed the top of her head before returning to his thoughts. 

Remus wondered if Dumbledore knew that Hermione was here this week and surmised he probably did, remembering his afternoon tea with the Headmaster less than a week ago…

_"So what are you waiting for?" Dumbledore asked, a smile on his face as he bit into his third biscuit._

_"Waiting for?" Remus asked cautiously.  When Albus had popped in for a chat, Remus had been expecting the old man to bring up Hermione and had mentioned he knew what had happened between him and the Weasleys._

_"To make this thing proper.  When are you going to ask Miss Granger to wed?"_

_Remus choked on his tea. "Are you mad?  I cannot ask her to marry me.  That—well, is a bit ridiculous, isn't it?"_

_"I thought it was the natural course in this situation. Do you really believe with the bond you two share that either of you would be content with another?"_

_"For Merlin's sake, she is only sixteen."_

_"Of legal age, both in the Muggle world and ours.  At least in the area surrounding Hogwarts."_

_Shaking his head, Remus gave a short laugh. "I never would have expected that of you Albus.  To suggest I keep that brilliant witch from a future."_

_"And she cannot have this future with you?  I never knew that a vow of marriage prevented one from obtaining other goals, except in cases in which one partner is very domineering and selfish.  Surely you are not telling me, Remus Lupin, that you would not allow Hermione to pursue any course in her career she chose."_

_"Of course not. Albus, just drop it alright?  You know as well as I do that it is illegal for me to marry a witch.  I am a half human remember?"_

_Albus smiled. "True, but that law does not apply to the Muggleborn which according to the law are not true 'witches'."_

_Remus mouth opened slightly.  He ran his hand through his hair and shook his head. "I didn't know. But it doesn't matter does it? What do I have to offer her?  I cannot even afford to take care of myself."_

_Albus looked thoughtfully at him. "You have the most important thing in the world to offer Hermione.  Yourself.  And I for one think that is a very valuable commodity."_

"A knut for your thoughts," Hermione teased, running her hand up to his chin.

Looking down at her smiling face, Remus hesitated and then blurted out.  "What would you say if I told you I was thinking of asking you to marry me?"


	12. Repercussions

AN/ Thanks to AprilGrey for beta services rendered.  Thanks to reviewers, wow, you guys are great!  Have a Merry Christmas and may the New Year bring hope and peace. Andrian

Comfort XII

Repercussions-b **:** a widespread, indirect, or unforeseen effect of an act, action, or event

****

Silence filled the room.  Hermione was stunned.  After several minutes of silence Remus cleared his throat and chuckled.  "I think I have my answer."

Swallowing hard, Hermione felt his disappointment. She chose her words carefully. "Remus, I don't know what to say.  I never expected, well, I mean I am still in school…"

Kissing her forehead, he tightened his arms around her. "Don't worry, Hermione," he said softly. "It was foolish of me to say anything.  Of course you have many years before you consider marriage."

Hermione nodded.  A part of her wanted to scream at him for asking such a thing while another part wanted to say yes.  _I am much too young to think of marriage_, she thought, though her mind kept thinking of being here with Remus everyday and night.  It was a pleasant thought.

****

They spent the next day in the village.  Hermione was surprised that so many of the Muggles greeted Remus warmly.  Stopping at a small tearoom for lunch, Remus grinned at her as the old woman pinched his cheeks when she brought the tea and biscuits. "I take odd jobs around the village," he explained.  "Muggles don't seem to mind that I only want to work now and then."  She smiled as he took her hand. "And now you shall be the subject of local gossip."  He glanced towards the old woman who was grinning at them.  "Odd, lonely Lupin, finally found a girl."  Hermione giggled and shook her head, her heart light and happy.

The freedom of being alone without the fear of discovery brought out their playful, inquisitive sides.  A day of stormy weather had Remus, with a gleam in his eye, chasing her around the house, vowing to christen every room with their lovemaking.  He held true to his word and by the time supper was ready Hermione felt too tired to chew. She wasn't complaining, although Chadrick gave a few choice hoots from being disturbed by their laughing and noises.  

After supper, in front of a warm fire, Remus kissed every inch of her body until she was trembling with desire.  He made love to her slowly, almost reverently, his eyes locking with hers, drawing her into the depths of the love she saw there. 

****

Hermione entered the bedroom still drying her hair.  Remus was lying on the bed, his bathrobe opened as he watched her.  It was their last night together and she had felt his melancholy and hers.  Dropping the towel, she knelt on the bed and crawled over to him.  A gentle smile crossed his face as she brushed her lips across his. "I love you, Remus." 

His arms went around her, pulling her down as he cuddled her to him. "And I you.  This house is going to be very lonely tomorrow evening."

"Maybe you could stay at Grimmauld place," she said hopefully. 

Remus shook his head.  "I will not stay where I am not wanted.  Don't Hermione," he touched her lips with his. "It is all right." His kiss deepened.  There was a small 'crack' and they pulled apart.  A gold feather fluttered to the ground.  Remus jumped out of the bed and picked it up and Hermione was amazed to see it had turned into a parchment. 

"I have to go," he said urgently, pulling on his robes.  "It is Order business."  Hermione chewed on her lower lip as she watched him get ready, feeling the adrenaline rush through her.  He picked up his wand and bent to give a swift kiss. "Listen, if I am not back in time tomorrow, take the Knight Bus to Hogwarts."

"Yes, she said hugging him.  "Be careful."

"Always," he grinned and kissed her once more.  With a loud crack, he Apparated.

Feeling apprehensive, Hermione pulled her bathrobe tighter around her.  Getting up she pulled out a book from her carefully packed bag.  She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep until he returned, so she headed to the kitchen for some tea.

****

Tonks was waiting for him on the sidewalk outside Grimmauld Place.  "The Ministry," she said urgently and they Apparated. 

They appeared in the Atrium of the Ministry. Running across the hall, they met up with Kingsley, Bill and Moody who were waiting for the lift.  

"Bout time you got here Lupin," Moody growled.  

"Sorry.  What's up?"

"That tip you gave us about the interest in the time turners and whatnot seems to have panned out.  Podmore was keeping an eye on this place and it seems eight of the blokes are down there now." 

Remus felt a shiver run down his spine.  The Order had discussed the implications of Voldemort having access to a way to alter time.  The results would be disastrous and it was decided that a guard would be kept on watch to prevent the Death Eaters from getting their hands on the Ministry's supply of Time Turners.  Even after the events of last summer, the Ministry had not taken the necessary precautions of issuing guards, believing the extra wards they installed would alert of intruders.  Not very effective when Voldemort had his own people inside the Ministry.

The lift finally arrived and they climbed in.  Remus felt the adrenaline rush of pre battle nerves surge through him though he rued that once again he would be forced down into the bowels of the Ministry. 

"Should be an easy battle," Tonks said brightly.  "Almost one on one."

"Don't be flip, woman," Moody said sternly.  "Never underestimate your enemy even if outnumbered.  The most deadly animal is one that is cornered."

"That is right," Kingsley said in his deep voice.  "According to Podmore, Voldemort has sent his best."

Remus' stomach lurched.  That meant that Bellatrix would be among the number. 

The lift stopped and they got out cautiously.  Seeing no one, they opened the door into the Department of Mysteries.  "Sturgis," Remus said quietly.

Sturgis nodded at him and pointed to the door to the right.  He handed a silvery cloak to Moody.  "They went through about five minutes ago."  

"On the count of three then," Remus directed, as everyone readied his or her wands. "One, two, three."  He threw open the door and they rushed through each taking a different direction.  The Death Eaters greeted them with a volley of spells.

Remus sent his own spell flying as he dodged.  In grim satisfaction, he saw a Death Eater fall forward stunned.  He spun around, to see Tonks engaged with a tall Death Eater and winced as his spell hit her fully in the face, grateful the light from the wand was purple and not green. _"Impedimenta!"_ he shouted.  The Death Eater toppled almost landing on Tonks.  

Moody and Kingsley were holding their own against three Death Eaters.  "Weasley went that way!" Moody shouted as he parried a spell. Remus saw the open door across the room and sprinted through it.  Entering a darkened room, he heard spells being cast and saw Bill go down.  Sturgis was scurrying around, dodging the bolts from the other two Death Eaters. 

Starting across the room to help him, Remus spun on his heel when he heard someone laugh. 

"Lupin!"  said Bellatrix gleefully. "A friend of yours sends his greetings!" Remus cast a shield charm as Lestrange lifted her hand.  He was puzzled as he saw not a beam of light but a twirling object fly towards him.  It struck his upper thigh, only tangling in his robes.  Pulling it out, he saw that it was a silver dagger. 

"Stick to magic Bella," he said grimly casting a spell at her which she reflected.  She grinned at him as she cast spell after spell at him.  Remus ducked and parried as they weaved into the room, avoiding desks and tables. 

Breathing hard, Lestrange gave him another wicked grin. "My dear cousin should have trained with you. Maybe he would have lasted longer."

Remus grimaced, his eyes narrowing as he tried to still the anger rising in him as he cast a spell.  He missed his marked and Bellatrix cackled as she sent her own spell that caught Remus' wand hand.  His wand went spinning.

"Another mongrel put out of his misery!" Bellatrix shouted gleefully, aiming a spell at Remus. "_ Avada__ Kedavra_!" 

Remus dropped and rolled as the green beam flew over his head and grabbing his wand, he came to his knee.  He felt his heart lurch as he saw out the corner of his eye the green beam soaring straight towards Sturgis who had his back to them.  "Sturgis!" he cried, but it was too late.  The spell had hit Sturgis squarely.  He was dead before he hit the floor. 

Eyeing the three Death Eaters approaching him warily, Remus tried not to think of Hermione as he prepared himself.  

"_Stupefy_!"

Bill had gotten to his feet and his spell fell the tall Death Eater Sturgis had been fighting.  Through the door, three more Death Eaters came with Kingsley, Moody and Tonks on their heels.  

"Get out of here!" hissed one as he cast a spell.  The room became dark, all light extinguished.  There was a curse from Moody then a squeal from Tonks.  Remus headed in the direction of the door, but stumbled as his foot connected on a body.   

"Damn!" he cursed, scrambling to his feet. This time he found the door and ran swiftly through the room of Time, into the corridor and toward the lift.  Bill and Tonks were already there and by the time he reached them the lift door had opened and they climbed.

When they reached the Atrium, they were in time to see the last Death Eater Apparating.

"Bloody hell!" Bill swore, shaking his head dejectedly. His left arm hung at an odd angle.

The lift rumbled to a stop and they held their wands at ready.  Moody stepped out, levitating a bound Death Eater in front of him, Kingsley following close, carrying Podmore's body.

"At least they didn't get these," Moody sighed heavily, tossing a heavy shoulder bag at Tonks.  Her eyes were wide and bright as she stared at Kingsley. 

"Couldn't leave him there," Kingsley said quietly. "Knowing the idiots that work here, they would try to pin it on him."

Looking down on the boyish face of Podmore, Remus felt a quiet rage run through him.  Another friend gone. The pain of losing Sirius surged through him causing the barely healed emotional wound to reopen and fester.  And now Sturgis was dead because of Lestrange.  

"Lupin? Are you okay?" Tonks asked, putting a hand on his arm.

Remus didn't look at her and with a cry that was half a sob and half a growl, he Apparated.

****

Hermione gave a small cry when Remus appeared. "Remus," she sobbed, running over to him. "What happened?  I felt you, hurting, so sad…" Her words were stopped as Remus crushed her to him in a vice like grip. She clung to him as he buried his head in against her neck and she felt his hot tears. 

"Remus," she said weakly, wanting desperately to ease his grief. 

Finally he lifted his head and looked at her.  Tears filled her eyes as she saw his stricken face. "Oh Remus," she said gently, stroking his cheek. He put his hands on either side of her face, his eyes taking in every part of her. 

"Don't leave me," he pleaded, his voice barely a whisper.  

Hermione looked at him questioningly.  "I am not going anywhere.  Remus, please tell me…"

"Don't leave me." He looked at her with his heart in his eyes.

"Never," she whispered.

Remus brought his mouth down on hers, kissing her so hard that she winced in pain as his teeth pressed into her lips. Over and over he kissed her, the intensity making her gasp and she remembered another night, another time when he had begged her not to go.  

Opening her bathrobe, he pressed her against the wall, picking her up as if she weighed nothing.  His hands on her thighs, he lifted her and Hermione gasped as he entered her roughly, 

"Promise me," he growled. 

"Remus…I," she didn't finish as his mouth crushed hers once more.  He drove hard into her making her gasp as she hung onto his neck.  It didn't take long before she felt his building release, his triggering her own. "Remus!" she cried as he surged into her once last time. Releasing his grip on her legs, he eased her down till she stood.

He was kissing her face over and over as he murmured. "Please tell me I didn't hurt you.  I never wanted to hurt you."

"You didn't hurt me," she assured him, hugging his neck. 

Taking her face in his hands, he searched her face. "Forgive me, Hermione, but I need you," he said hoarsely as he picked her up.  Carrying he into the bedroom, he did not speak as he laid her gently down on the bed and covered her once more with his body.

****

Resting her head on her arms, Hermione vaguely watched the landscape pass as the Hogwarts Express carried her back to school.  Her body ached from the long night of passion and intense emotions.  Remus had apologized over and over for what had happened until she had kissed him quiet which had led to another, though much gentler, bout of lovemaking. Finally as dawn had pushed the shadows from the room, he told her what had happened at the Ministry.  

Kissing him thoroughly outside Kings Cross, Hermione felt tears in her eyes.  She hated leaving him, but knew she knew he would be all right.  

****

The rest of April and May passed uneventfully for Hermione.  She experienced no rushes of emotions and assumed Remus also must be having a quiet spring though the Daily Prophet had disturbing headlines several times. The last letter she had received from him had been two weeks ago saying that he would be unavailable and would owl her as soon as he was able.  Hermione knew he was on a job for the Order, but it didn't help the longing she had for a word from him.  Finals were in two weeks and Hermione threw herself into studying. Keeping her mind busy was the best thing.

****

Hermione found it hard to work on the potion in class that Friday.  Every time she looked at the swirling grayish liquid she felt her stomach turn over.  Twice she had to drop her head in her hands and wait for the queasiness to pass.

"What's the matter Hermione?"  Harry asked.  "Not feeling well?"

"No.  Guess it was something I ate."

"Well this stuff," he lifted the ladle and took a whiff making a face, "would make a skrewt turn green."

A wave of nausea flowed over her and she swallowed hard.  Stirring the potion she tried to breath deeply but still her stomach rolled.  Her hand over her mouth, she rose quickly and headed for the door.

"Where do you think you are going, Miss Granger?" Snape asked.

"I need to…" she gagged and vomited in Snape's wastebasket by his desk.  

"Quiet," he growled at the class as several laughed and one person gagged.  "Miss Granger, you are dismissed to go see the nurse."

****

"I think I have a bug," she said, sitting down on the stool.  "I threw up twice yesterday, once this morning and just now in potions. The smell of food makes me nauseated."  

Madame Pomfrey took her temperature and looked into her mouth.  "Any other symptoms?"

"I have just been really tired."  

Pomfrey looked at her intently. "When was your last menstrual cycle, Hermione?"

Hermione started to say May the twelfth, but stopped.  She hadn't started her period then. April?  She came back from Remus' on the tenth of April and… "March eleventh," she said weakly.  How could she have forgotten?  She had skipped periods before so it really hadn't concerned her. Apprehensively she looked at Pomfrey who was scowling slightly at her.

"Is there any chance you could be pregnant?" she asked in a business like tone.

'No', Hermione wanted to say, to reassure herself.  Remus had always been careful.  Each night when they had went to bed he had cast the Contraceptous charm.  Every night without fail…except for the last night.  He had been called away. "Yes," Hermione said shakily. "I suppose there is a chance."

Madame Pomfrey nodded and told her to slip on a gown.  

Hermione didn't need for her to confirm the diagnosis.  Pomfrey had a serious look on her face as she finished the examine.  "You are pregnant, Miss Granger," she said sternly. "I would say almost two months."

Gripping the sheet on the bed, Hermione felt the fear flow over her as Madame Pomfrey continued. "You must know I have to tell Professor McGonagall and the Headmaster." Hermione nodded feeling faint.  Poppy's face softened. "It will be alright dear," she said patting her hand.  "There are always options to take care of this."

_Take care of this?_  Hermione's mind was spinning.  _Take care of this?  This is a baby_ she wanted to scream.  _You don't just take care of it, you can't._  

Her mind was still racing and she did not hear what Madame Pomfrey was telling her about the effects of a certain potion. _What am I going to do?  I am going to have to leave school.  What will my parents say?_  With shaking hands she dressed and left the hospital wing.

****

Hermione entered Dumbledore's office later that evening with her head high though she was shaking inwardly. Professor McGonagall was standing beside his desk her lips pressed into a thin line as she greeted Hermione.  

"Ah, Miss Granger.  Please have a seat.  Would you care for a drink or a sweet?"

"No thank you, Professor," she said nervously as she sat on the edge of a chair. 

"Miss Granger," McGonagall said, her voice stern, "I am to understand that you are in the family way."  

Hermione nodded.  _Well at least that was straight to the point,_ she thought.  "You do realize that if you choose to continue with your pregnancy that you will not be allowed to return to school next year and will forgo any chance at a decent career…"

Dumbledore coughed loudly, interrupting her. "Professor, I am sure our young student has done nothing but think about her predicament, however she has only known for a few hours.  Perhaps we should give her a bit of time to digest what has happened."

McGonagall sniffed.

"Minerva," Dumbledore said quietly, "I realize that this is upsetting to you, as well as Hermione, but now is not the time to act hastily. If Hermione decides to keep the child, and I will not mind telling you I think every life is a gift, I for one see no reason that she cannot continue her studies next term."

"Impossible," McGonagall said, though her voice sounded hopeful. "It is against the rules."

"As Headmaster, I do believe I am allowed to bend the rules from time to time."

Hermione looked at him surprised.  "Truly?"

Albus laughed. "Yes, I do believe we can work something out.  Still the decision is yours, young lady, and I would hope you want to include the father in this."

"Yes, of course," Hermione said quickly. 

Albus' voice was gentle as he spoke. "Would you like for me to summon the father here, so that you may tell him?"

Hermione nodded. McGonagall looked between them.  "Well?"

"Yes, Professor?" Dumbledore asked, a smile on his face.

"I will need a name if I am to go collect the young man responsible for this."  

Hermione looked cautiously at Dumbledore.  "That will not be necessary, Minerva.  The young man is not in this school. I am correct in saying that, Miss Granger?"

Hermione nodded again, noticing the way McGonagall lips thinned even more. "Am I to understand that it is not a wizard at this school?" she said acidly.  "Headmaster, surely we cannot allow a Muggle…"

"The young man responsible for this is very much a wizard, Professor, however it is not for me to say more."  Dumbledore rose and walked around the desk.  "I will inform him to get in touch with you as soon as he is able to," he said to Hermione.

"Thank you, Professor," she said shakily as she got up.  

He put a hand on her shoulder.  "Everything will be just fine, you will see.   Sometimes the unexpected has the most wondrous results."   

She tried to smile at him.

****

The week passed in a blur.  Hermione kept hoping for word from Remus, yet she dreaded telling him.  Would he want her to get rid of the 'problem'?  She honestly didn't think so, but still the nagging doubt kept tugging on her.  Ron and Harry kept asking her what was wrong, noticing that she seemed distracted and often broke down and cried in the common room. Tonight was no exception as she tried hard to keep back her sniffs.

"Hermione," Ron said exasperatedly, laying down his Transfiguration book, "what is going on?"

"Nothing," she said, though her voice cracked.

"Ron," Ginny said, "Hermione's business is her own."  Hermione gave her a small smile.  Ginny raised her eyebrows at her. She had not confided in Ginny and Ginny had assumed she was having problems with Remus.

"Must be female things," Ron said sagely as Harry blushed.   Ginny gave them a scathing look.  

****

Sitting in potions, Hermione was grateful for the potion Madame Pomfrey had given her for nausea, as she sliced frog hearts.  She made her potion quickly and with success.  Bottling a sample for Professor Snape, she walked up to the front to hand it to him. 

Looking at her intently, he took the vial from her. "Miss Granger, see me after class."

"What did you do wrong?" Harry asked her as she took her seat beside him.

"Nothing," she said, puzzled. The potion seemed to be correct. She spent the rest of the class going back over her work, worrying if she had done the assignment wrong.

"Don't bother to wait," she told Harry when the bell rang.  "I will catch up with you later."

Hermione walked to the front of the room to stand before Snape's desk.  He did not look up from the parchment he was grading and she stood there quietly until he finished.  

Finally he put the quill down.  His eyes, cold and expressionless, surveyed her.  Finally he pulled out a drawer and produced a small bottle.  "Madame Pomfrey informed me that you had need of this." He set the bottle on the desk before her as he stood. "You will need to check into the infirmary and be prepared to stay a couple of days."

Hermione stared at the bottle feeling Snape's eyes still boring into her. Hermione looked up at him, noting the smug, condescending look on his face. "If this," her voice cracked and she swallowed, squaring her shoulders. "Is what I think it is, I have no need of it, sir."

Snape raised his eyebrows and sat down, leaning back in his chair as he studied her.  Hermione did not look away from his penetrating gaze. "Indeed.  I was told that a certain Gryffindor needed to rid of herself of a mistake.  Imagine my surprise when I learned the know-it-all apparently didn't know enough to use a contraceptive potion or charm."

Hermione flushed, but raised her chin higher.  "I am sure that delighted you, sir," she said, pleased to see Snape scowl, "however my mistake is mine and I do not want to make it worse." 

"Pity," he said silkily, leaning forward, resting his elbows on the desk.  "Are you ready to give up your studies?"

"Professor Dumbledore told me that I would be allowed to continue." 

"Not in my class," he said with a satisfied smile. 

"But…"

"Really, Miss Granger, I had thought you intelligent enough to realize that it would be detrimental to your pregnancy to handle the ingredients used in potions, not to mention the fumes.   This is a hands on class and you cannot just expect to hand in essays."  

Looking down at the bottle, Hermione felt tears in her eyes.

"This also applies to Charms and Transfiguration.  You will not be able to study Apparition, splinching could be deadly and a misaimed charm could leave you carrying a fetus that would resemble a nightmare."

She looked back at him.  _He was enjoying this, the bastard,_ she thought.

"Do you honestly think you could continue with your studies?" 

Hermione stared at him, trying to will away the tears that had started to run down her cheeks.  "If there isn't anything else, sir."

Snape smiled sardonically.  "I will keep this for now.  If you change your mind…"

"I wont," she said quickly.

"Very well," he said quietly, the smile still lingering on his lips.  "However, I will say this as I know your Head of House is too soft to. Though you fancy yourself in love, if you continue on this path you will be as ostracized as Lupin."  Hermione's head snapped up and she saw a knowing gleam in Snape's eyes.  "A werewolf is forbidden by Ministry law to marry or procreate.  The loophole in this law will allow you to marry him, if he has even offered to do the honorable thing, and being a Gryffindor I am sure he has, because you are Muggleborn."  Hermione opened her mouth. "Do not interrupt me, Miss Granger," he warned.  "There is a chance, a very small chance, that the child you carry will be infected with Lycanthropy.  I would think about these things if I were you."

"You are not me," Hermione said angrily. "And it is not your place…"

"You are dismissed," Snape said, ignoring her outburst.  "And I do not want to see you in this class for the rest of the term."

"But finals…"

"You will receive an incomplete for the course."  

"But sir..."

"You are dismissed," he said with finality as he returned to grading. 

She walked swiftly out of the classroom, keeping her head down as she hurried up the stairs.  Finally she ducked behind a large statue and leaned back against it breathing heavily. A tear slipped down her cheek and she closed her eyes wishing Remus were there.


	13. Decisions

AN/Thanks to AprilGrey for beta services rendered and for the lovely reviews. Everyone has been great!!

Comfort XIII

Decisions-**1 a** **:** the act or process of deciding **b** **:** a determination arrived at after consideration : CONCLUSION

****

"What do you mean he kicked you out of class?" Harry said, his face flushed in disbelief and anger. "Why the bloody hell did he do that for?"

"Harry, keep your voice down," Hermione pleaded as several people turned to look at them.  "I will tell you later. Just finish your supper, please."

Ron's mouth was still partly open. "That evil, greasy haired git," he said furiously, picking up his fork once more. "You should have dropped the class like I did."

Harry was still not eating, his frown deepening. "You should go to Dumbledore.  He will sort it out."

"Harry," Hermione said reproachfully, "Dumbledore cannot do anything about it."  She sighed heavily.  "Listen, meet me in the Room of Requirement around eight, you too Ginny, and I will tell you everything." _Although you aren't going to like, it _she thought.

****

Her three friends sat looking at her, their expressions incredulous.   Ginny was the first to react, standing up and hugging Hermione.  "Oh, I am sorry-- that is about Snape being horrid to you, but I am glad if you are glad about the baby," she said hesitantly. "Does Remus know?" she whispered in her ear.  Hermione had told them she was pregnant but not had said by whom.

Hermione shook her head.

"Well call me a Blast Ended Skrewt," Ron said whistling low.  He looked intently at Hermione and blushed. "I would have never dreamt…you know…that…well, Hermione…I mean."

"Shut up Ron," said Ginny angrily. "You just never saw Hermione as anything but an easy out for your homework you mean.  Believe me, there are a lot of boys and men that noticed she was a girl."

Harry looked suspiciously at them. "So who's the dad?" he asked pointedly.

Hermione shook her head. "Sorry, but I cannot say, not yet."

"Why? Are you ashamed of him?"

"No, nothing like that, it's just, well, I haven't told him yet and honestly I don't think you and Ron would understand."

Ron's eyebrows shot up.  "Don't tell me you've been shagging someone in Slytherin…"

"Don't be dense, Ron," Harry said, still looking suspiciously at Hermione. "If you are almost two months along then you got pregnant during Spring Break."

Hermione nodded. "Yes."

"Then it is a Muggle boy," Ron said, looking pleased that he had deduced that. "Nothing wrong with that, Hermione. After all you are Muggleborn."

"Right," Hermione said, glad not to have to elaborate anymore.

Harry wasn't persuaded. "Then who have you been getting all the owls from?  Does this Muggle know you are a witch?  I mean, aren't we suppose to be secretive about things like that?  And it isn't your owl, is it?  It doesn't stay here."

'_Why did you get so good at thinking things through now, Harry_?' she thought.  "You are correct, Harry, the owl is from a wizarding friend I know, but this has nothing to do with him," she lied, trying not to blush. "Listen, I have a lot to deal with right now so please don't tell anyone about this. Okay?"

"Sure Hermione," Ron said as he stood.  He patted her awkwardly on the shoulder. "But I reckon old Snape won't keep this quiet.  He will probably announce to the class why you are no longer there."

"Surely he won't," Ginny said reassuringly.  Hermione looked at Harry and she knew he thought Ron was probably correct.

****

Sitting in the empty common room, Hermione gazed into the fireplace, her hands rumbling the parchment she held in her hands.  She had made a list; reasons to get rid of the baby, keep the baby or to have the baby and give it up.  The shortest was the reason to keep it.  For some reason she was angry that it had turned out that way.

A small pop startled her from her reverie as a gold feather floated down landing in her lap.  Picking it up, she read the parchment it had turned into.

_"A friend awaits in the garden." _

Hurriedly she got up, throwing the papers into the fire and headed out.

****

Hermione knocked softly on the door in the garden shed.  A worried looking Remus opened it, grasping her hands and pulling her in.  "Hermione," his gray eyes searched her face, "what has happened?  Dumbledore said that it was urgent that we talk."

Relief flooded through her and she felt the tension of the last week ease.  _He was here_! She felt tears prick behind her eyes.  "Remus, can we sit down?"

He nodded, the concern on his face growing as he led her over to a chair.  Pulling up another one, he sat before her, his hand on her knee, looking at her with apprehension. 

_How odd not to feel him,_ she thought. Taking a deep breath, she looked down at his hand. "I am going to have a baby," she said calmly, glancing quickly up at him. An odd expression crossed his face.  Shock, she supposed, yet a look of wonderment before the inevitable look she was familiar with.  The one of guilt.

"A baby?" his voice trembled, his hand on her knee gripping her. Remus closed his eyes.  

"Are you upset?" she asked hesitantly.

Opening his eyes, he looked at her, and she saw that his eyes were bright. "I am…overwhelmed."  Standing, he walked several feet away, running his hand through his hair as he stared at the floor.

"Remus?"

When he looked up at her, she noticed the tears in the corners of his eyes. "I am sorry, " she said hesitantly.

He walked quickly over to her.  "Please don't say that.  If anyone is sorry, then it is I.  You could not have cast the Contracepteous spell because of the Underage Use of Magic Law. Forgive me, Hermione."

"Well then," she said shakily, "there is no sense in trying to cast blame or wish things were different.  I suppose the question is what to do now and how will people react. 

Remus looked at her suspiciously. "Speaking on how others will react, what did Dumbledore say?"

She told him what Dumbledore had said and then blurted out what Snape had told her. Remus' eyes flashed fire. "How dare he," he said angrily.  "He has no right to treat you like that."

"It's okay…"

"No, it isn't Hermione."  Remus strode over to the fireplace. Taking a jar from the mantle, he tossed some green powder into the empty hearth.  A green blaze erupted. "Severus," he said loudly. 

Hermione hurried over to him and put a hand on his arm. "Remus, you can't, please don't," she tried.

He patted her hand and repeated Severus' name. Hermione felt ill when she saw Snape's head appear in the fire.  "Lupin," he said coldly, "I assume you want something."

"Yes.  A word in private."

Snape's head moved and Hermione tried to conceal herself behind Remus.  A faint sneer appeared on the professor's face.  "Ah, I see you have come to console the poor child you sullied."

"Severus," Remus said warningly. 

Snape stared at Remus a moment before a sardonic smile crossed his face. "Very well, Lupin.  I will give you five minutes."

Remus stepped into the fireplace and smiled encouragingly at Hermione then said, "Severus Snape's rooms."  With a pop he was gone.  She stared at the green flames a moment feeling her stomach quiver. 

****

Remus stepped out of the fireplace into Snape's private rooms.  Snape stood beside a desk pouring amber liquid from a decanter into two glasses.

"Lupin," Severus greeted him calmly. "Care for a drink?"

"This isn't a social visit, Severus.  I want to know who the hell you think you are to say such things to Hermione."

Picking up one of the glasses, Snape walked over to a sofa and sat down.  He swirled the liquid a moment before taking a sip.  A wry smile crossed his face when he at last looked at Remus.

"I am her Professor and concerned about her health and academic performance," he said quietly.

"Bollocks!" Remus said angrily, walking over to the desk "It gave you great pleasure to talk to her like that didn't it, Severus?  Treating her like she was nothing more than a common trollop."

Snape raised his eyebrows. "I only told Miss Granger the truth.  Something that no one else seems to be capable of.  Certainly not the adult shagging her, who may have ruined her changes of a decent life in our world."

"How dare you!"

"How dare I?" Severus said coolly.  "How dare I speak the truth?  I believe you should direct that question towards yourself, Lupin."

Remus' face flushed brighter as he stared at Snape.  Several silent moments passed as the two men locked eyes.  Finally, Remus looked away, shaking his head. 

"You are right, Severus," he said solemnly.  Remus sat down in a chair and put his head in his hands.  He felt something nudge his hand.  

"Here." Snape handed him the other glass. Remus gave a short laugh. 

"No thanks," he said sitting the glass on a small table. "It would seem I am irresponsible enough without adding alcohol to the mixture."

 "Indeed. If you are looking for sympathy or a fight Lupin, you will not find it here," Severus said silkily.  "This matter is of no concern to me other than the fact I do not want Miss Granger in my class, for her health of course."

"Of course," Remus said sarcastically. "I trust the reason she will not be allowed to finish out the term will stay between us."

Snape snorted. "Really Lupin, I am not a hen who likes to gossip."

"I recall a time when you took great pleasure in letting the fact that I am a werewolf slip," Remus said bitterly.

A wry smile crossed Snape's face. "My only concern was the students, Lupin."

"How conscientious of you, Severus.  However Hermione's pregnancy should not be life threatening to any of the students."

Snape waved his hand. "It is no concern to me.  I am sure that her mates will take matters into their own hands about spreading the news." He moved to sit down behind the desk. "If you are finished…"

"Oh course," Remus said with a sigh. "Thank you for your time, Severus."  Standing, Remus walked over to the fireplace.

"Lupin."

Remus turned to look at the potion master. "Think about the girl for a change, why don't you?" 

****

Hermione watched anxiously as Remus stepped out of the hearth.  "How did it go?" she asked breathlessly.

"Well enough," Remus said with a small smile. "For a conversation with Severus that is." Hermione gave a weak laugh.

"Hermione, sit down.  We need to talk."

Sitting down, Hermione watched Remus pace the floor a moment before he knelt down before her, taking one of her hands. "Hermione, I love you.  I love you even though I know I do not have a right to… please just hear me out," he said as she started to speak. "You are young and have your life before you.  I have nothing to offer you except myself and at times not even that. 

"This pregnancy is a blessing and a curse.  The bond has been lifted and perhaps the feelings you had for me will change, as they should. Shhh," he placed a finger on her lips.

"I will not presume to know how you feel or what you want, but can only tell you what Professor Snape has already spoken to you about.  If you choose to have this child, with or without me as your husband, you will find yourself ostracized in our society.  Witches do not have children out of wedlock in proper company and no witch has a half-breed's child. 

"Whatever you choose, I will stand with you either as your husband, friend or what have you.  But I will leave the decision to you." He smiled gently and tucked a curl behind her ear. "Do not answer right now, I know you have a lot to think about."

"Can I speak now?" Hermione asked defensively.  Remus nodded.

"I know that it is my decision and I have been thinking a lot about it.  I want…I want to wait a bit before I do anything.  And I want to tell my parents no matter what I decide."

"I will tell your parents," Remus said firmly.  "It is the proper thing."

"Remus, you can't.  It is going to be hard enough without, without…" she looked at him pleadingly, not wanting to hurt him.

He felt a strong desire to accuse her of keeping him away from her parents because he was a werewolf, but he knew she wasn't thinking that. "Because I am your ex-professor and old enough to be your father," he said sympathetically.

"Yes.  I want them to get use to the idea first.  You understand?"

He pulled her into his arms, kissing her on the forehead.  "Yes.  I just want you to know you are not alone in this.  If you need me…"

"I will let you know. I promise."

****

Term had ended and Hermione had felt she had done well with her studies considering the circumstances.  To her great shock, Professor McGonagall had approached her the day of the sixth year's potions final and informed her that she would indeed be sitting in on the test.  "Just wear these," McGonagall had said with a small smile as she handed Hermione a pair of gloves and a paper mask.  "Professor Snape has kindly agreed that with these precautions you may take your final."  Hermione had been so relieved she had given Professor McGonagall a brief hug and to her surprise found it returned. 

Hermione had been at home for over a week before she found the nerve to approach her parents.  She had asked them to sit down one night after dinner.  Looking at her expectantly, they waited. 

Swallowing hard and lifting her chin, Hermione stood before them. "Mum, dad…I am pregnant."

Her parents were silent, their eyes wide.  They looked at each other.  Hermione winced as she saw her father's face grow red, his eyebrows furrowing. He was a quiet man but she knew he had a temper when passionate about something.

"There you go!" he shouted rising to his feet.  "There you go!  I told you letting her spend so much time with those, those people…" He was shouting at her mum, who was pale and looked like she was about to cry. 

"Henry," she said a note of anger in her voice.  

"I told you!' he continued pacing the room now.  "Spending every summer, every holiday with those boys, day in and day out."

"Dad," Hermione felt queasy knowing that he suspected Ron or Harry. "It isn't like that."

"And just how is it, young lady?" he asked, glaring at her. "You are knocked up.  Don't suppose you did that by yourself now, did you?"

"No," she said weakly, "but it wasn't Ron or Harry."

He looked skeptically at her. "Then which one of the Weasley brood?  You told me Ron has five other brothers."

Hermione blushed. "It was not a Weasley."  She gave her mother an apologetic look.  Her mum had kept her secret and Hermione knew she was regretting it.

"Who then?" Henry demanded.  "I want a name and I want it now."

"I…I…Remus Lupin," she whispered.

"Lupin?  What kind of name is that? And just who is this boy?" 

Hermione swallowed hard, then saw her mother's face.  "Professor Lupin?" her mother asked shocked. "Dear lord, Hermione."

Her dad rounded on her mum now. "PROFESSOR!" he roared. "That's it.  I have had it. Young lady go to your room and do not come out until I say so."

"Dad…"

"Now!"

Her heart beating fast, Hermione ran up the stairs trying not to cry.  She could still hear her father's irate voice.

"I want that man's head!  Tomorrow we are going to contact that bloody school and demand charges be pressed."

"He is no longer a professor there," her mum was saying, "I am sure they have no control…"

"Someone has got to pay for this.  She will not be returning to that nonsense.  I told you it would come to no good.  A catholic boarding school is just what she needs and they can take care of her disgrace in private…"

Hermione didn't try to listen anymore.  Sitting on the edge of the bed, she made a decision.  Gathering some things in a bag, she waited for night to fall.

****

The Knight Bus screeched to a halt.  "Here you go, miss," said Stan.  "Right to the front door."  Hermione shakily grabbed her bag and Crookshank's carrier.  She stepped off the bus and it disappeared with a loud bang.  

"Hermione?"  Remus was hurrying to her; the noise of the bus evidently had woke him. His hair was tousled and his robes halfway open. Hermione dropped her bag and clumsily threw her arms around him, the carrier hitting him hard causing Crookshanks to yowl.  

"Hermione, why are you here?" he asked as he hugged her tightly, feeling her tremble.

"Mum and dad…they…it was horrible," she sniffed, straightening the carrier. "I couldn't stand it any longer and I didn't know where else to go."

"Oh love," Remus sighed, kissing her forehead.  He picked up her bag. "Let's go inside.  You are freezing."

Wrapped in a warm blanket, Hermione sipped the hot chocolate.  Remus took her bag to the bedroom and released Crookshanks who was in an irritated state. With his bottle brushed tail flaring, he hissed loudly at Chadrick who had flown down to investigate the new arrival.  The owl retreated to the safety atop a tall bookcase, hooting reproachfully while Crookshanks gave Hermione a dirty look and stalked off, sniffing and surveying his new surroundings. 

"Warmer?" Remus asked with a small smile as he sat down next to her on the sofa. 

"Yes.  I think it was more nerves than chill." 

She looked so woebegone that Remus felt angry.  "Not very nice of your parents to put you through this in your condition."

"It is my condition that is the problem," she said defensively. "I can't blame them.  It was stupid of me to become pregnant."

Remus flinched. "Lay the blame where it belongs, Hermione," he said quietly, trying to keep his voice from rising. "I am the one responsible." 

Hermione said nothing as she clutched her mug tighter.

"So if you have decided, when are you going to," he hesitated, "get rid of the baby?"  His mouth felt dry.

She looked at him with disbelief.  "Get rid of the baby?  Remus, you don't mean that, do you?"

Relief flooded over him. "No," he said very softly. "I just thought, that perhaps it is what you wanted.  It would make things easier for you."

"I will admit that I never imagined being a mother, not now of course, but not even years from now, but this," she said her eyes softening, "is my baby.  And I know it will be hard, but I know I will love it.  I think I already do." 

Remus reached over and cupped her chin. "Thank you," he said, a small catch in his voice. "I want the baby, Hermione, and you."  He kissed her gently. 

She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.  "Remus make love to me, please."

Smiling, he gently took her face in his hands.  Placing feathery kisses on her lips, he pulled her into his lap. His hands trembled as he began to unbutton her shirt.  This would be the first time without the bond.  Would he be able to please her?  He had no doubt of the pleasure she gave him but couldn't help the nagging thought that perhaps what she enjoyed so much in their coupling was the sensations flowing from him.

Holding her hand, he led her into the bedroom.  Slowly he removed her clothing, kissing each part of skin that was exposed.  Her eyes were bright and she smiled nervously as she helped him shed his own clothes. 

He guided her to the bed, pressing her down.  Staring at her, he felt the familiar twinge of guilt over how young she was.  Kneeling he picked up her foot and began sucking her toes, causing her to giggle softly.

Licking up her calf, he continued upward, to her center.  She moaned and spread her legs wider as his tongue delved into her.  Hermione's hand tangled in his hair, urging him to continue as she twisted her body to bring him closer. Obligingly, he caressed her with his mouth, feeling her stir beneath him.

"Remus!" Her back arched as her body shuddered. 

Remus kissed his way up her stomach, stopping to suckle gently on a nipple as he positioned his body over hers. "No," she panted.  His eyebrow arched and he stopped. Hermione pushed on his shoulders and he obligingly rolled over.  A seductive smile crossed her face as she rose to her knees.  Kissing him, she sucked on his lower lip before trailing down his neck

His hands gripped the sheets when her tracing tongue skimmed across his manhood.  Through hooded eyelids, he saw her glimpse up at him before she engulfed him with her mouth.  Remus thought he would explode at the first touch of her warm mouth.  She had touched him, had brought him to pleasure with her hand before but never had she…he moaned her name, as her hands began to touch also.  "Hermione love," he gasped, his hands urging her to stop, enjoying immensely what she was doing but wanting to be inside her.  Her cheeks flushed as she moved away. 

Rolling over, he parted her legs and entered her slowly, watching as she closed her eyes.  Slowly he moved within her, careful to keep his body in contact with her sensitive spot.  He watched her face intently, smiling as she bit her lower lip as her body convulsed around him. 

"Again love," he murmured his fingers finding the sensitive nerve bundle as he moved more urgently. Stroking her with his fingers it wasn't long until he felt her building passion once more. He felt her body grasp his and he surged into her, feeling her tremble as she came and with a deep thrust joined her as his seed spilled into her. 

She was still trembling as Remus gathered her in his arms and kissed her sweaty brow.  "Alright?" he asked concernedly noticing the tears in the corners of her eyes.

Nodding, Hermione buried her face in his chest and wept.  Worried, Remus stroked her hair as he held her tightly, afraid that he had displeased her somehow.  Finally she stopping crying and hiccupped.  "Can you tell me what is wrong?" his voice was tight with apprehension.

"Sorry.  It's just…I have never felt so…much love before when we had sex.  Does that make sense?"

Relieved, Remus shook his head.  "I know," he said very softly. "I do love you."

"And I you.  It will be okay, won't it?"

"I will do everything in my power to make it okay," he assured her. They fell asleep, Remus' hand resting gently on her abdomen.


	14. Resolution

AN/Thanks to AprilGrey for beta services.  Sorry about the slow update.  Hopefully the next one will be quicker.  Cheers

****

Comfort XIV

Resolution-**3 a** **:** something that is resolved **b** **:** firmness of resolve

The sun danced on the faded blue hangings, creating striped shadows across the sleeping girl.  '_Girl, yes, but a woman also.  A woman who is carrying my child.'_  Remus was lying on his side, propped up on one elbow, staring at Hermione.  '_My child_.'  He felt giddy every time he thought of this.  Try as he may, he couldn't feel anything but wonderment, and not even the guilt could intrude.  '_My child'_, he thought again.  I am not supposed to have children, it isn't allowed.  '_But I am and they can't do a damn thing about it'._ His heart felt full.

Gently he picked up one of her brown curls, wrapping it around his finger.  Merlin, how he loved her. If only things could have been different, if he had waited until she was older…'_then I might have never known'._

Hermione stirred, rolling onto her back and stretching.

"Morning sunshine," Remus said smiling.

"Morn…" she put a hand over her mouth and jumped out of the bed, running out of the room. Remus flinched in sympathy as he picked up her robe and followed her into the bathroom.  He held her hair back as she vomited into the toilet.

"I am a mess," she laughed shakily after she had rinsed her mouth.  

"You are beautiful. Something I can get you?"

She nodded.  "In my bag, my toothbrush and a brown bottle.  A potion for morning sickness," she said blushing.

Once the potion took affect, Hermione found that she was ravenous.  Grinning Remus filled her request for sausages, eggs, tomatoes and toast.  Hermione smiled as she watched him expertly flip the eggs.

"I'm glad you can cook," she sighed contently, helping herself to more eggs. "I burn water."

"My mother was a wonderful cook and most insistent that I learn to fend for myself." He gave her a mischievous look. "Don't tell anyone, but I can knit also."

She giggled.

A sharp knock on the door startled them. "Go to the bedroom," Remus instructed as he picked up his wand from the counter. Hermione got up quickly, picking up Crookshanks who was winding around her ankles in hopes for a sausage. 

When the bedroom door was safely closed, Remus went to the front door and looked through a small hole.  Surprised he opened the door. "Moody?  What are you doing here?"

"Remus," Moody greeted him. "Need a word with you."

"Come in," Remus said stepping aside.  He quickly shut the door. "Is it Order business?"

"No, it is business but nothing to do with the Order." Moody's magical eye was rotating.  

"Have a seat. Care for some breakfast?" Remus asked as he and Moody sat at the table.

"Seems you already have a dining companion."

Sighing, Remus saw him looking at Hermione's plate. "Yes Alastor.  Hermione arrived late last night."

"I figured as much," Moody said gruffly, picking up a piece of toast and sniffing it. "That is the 'business' we need to discuss."

"I see," Remus said slowly.

"May as well have the lass join us.  No sense in repeating myself later."

"Come out, Hermione," Remus said, knowing she was probably listening. Crookshanks bounded out of the bedroom first, going over and sniffing Moody's leg.  Blushing, Hermione sat down next to Remus who reached over and took her hand.  "It's okay.  Moody knows about us," Remus said quietly

"Oh." Her blush deepened as she looked at Moody's grizzled face.

Moody coughed.  "Damn cat hair," he growled as Crookshanks leapt into his lap. "Like I told Remus, it isn't any of my business what young folks do, until today that is."

"Why is that?" Remus asked as Hermione gripped his hand.

"Because this young lady's dad is a bit miffed.  Seems he has it in his mind that a wizard named Remus Lupin kidnapped her in the middle of the night."

Hermione gasped. "But that isn't true.  I took the Knight Bus."

"I know Remus would never do anything like that," Moody said assuredly, "but it doesn't change the fact that your dad is accusing him of it.  I stayed at the Leaky Cauldron last night, business for the Order, and at dawn your dad was pounding on the door demanding to speak to any wizard on the premises.  Well, we can't have a Muggle standing out on the street announcing to the world our business, so I cast a Silencio charm on him out the window.  Time I got downstairs, Tom had him sitting at a table with quill and parchment as he wrote out what he wanted to say.

"Told Tom I would handle it and took the charm off," Moody scratched his ear. "Almost deafened me.  Had to threaten him with a full body lock if he didn't stop the caterwauling."

"Oh dear," Hermione said horrified at the thought of her dad being so upset.

"I got him to calm down and drink some coffee before I would listen to him.  He wanted to see someone who could help him get his daughter back and press charges against the man who had molested and impregnated his little girl."

Remus and Hermione blushed.

Moody cleared his throat. "I see. Don't know whether to congratulate you, Remus, or smack you on the side of the head for not going through the proper channels of marrying her first.  Wouldn't have all this fuss."

"I will take the congratulations, thanks," Remus said sheepishly.

"Anyway, I talked to your dad and got him to agree to go home.  He only went because I told him I would have you home before this day was over. Didn't want Remus carted off while the Ministry tries to sort this out."

Hermione nodded. "I will get my things."

"I will take Hermione home," Remus said firmly

"That's not the best idea you've had Lupin."

"I should have met with her parents in the first place.  Thank you, Alastor, for intervening with Mr. Granger; however, it is time I met the man."

"Oh my," Hermione said breathlessly.  "Remus, my dad is very angry at you."

"He has every right to be, Hermione, and to vent that anger on the person who deserves it."

Moody snorted. "Sentimental nonsense.  Marry the girl and get on with life if you want my advice."  He scratched Crookshanks behind the ear before he put him down.  "I need to be going.  I have your word then?  You will have her back?"

"Of course," Remus said rising. 

After Moody left, Hermione cleared the table.  "I am so sorry, Remus.  I had no idea my dad would accuse you of kidnapping me."

Taking the plates from her, he sat them on the counter, and then put his hands on her upper arms, caressing them. "Marry me."

Hermione looked into his earnest face. "Remus, everything is happening so fast…I don't know what to do.  Besides my parents would never accept the Wizarding tradition of handfasting as being legal."

"Then we will get married the Muggle way," he said softly. "If I remember my Muggle Studies, it is common practice to end the marriage in your society if it doesn't work out.  You know that a Wizarding marriage cannot be dissolved.  Marry me in the Muggle way and if you decide that you no longer want to be married to me, I will not stand in your way."

"That's not very romantic, Remus," she said irritably.  

"I am sorry, love," he smiled at her, "but it is realistic.  I want you to have my name for the child's sake should something happen."

Hermione frowned at him. "What are you keeping from me, Remus?"

Remus smiled.  "I didn't want to say anything yet, but I shall be away most of the summer on Order business.  If something should happen to me, I want to know you are taken care of.  I have a little gold that Sirius left me and it will be much easier on you if the baby is not born out of wedlock."

Chewing on her finger, Hermione walked over to the counter and began doing the dishes.  "Hermione?"

She turned to look at him, tears in her eyes.  "Yes Remus.  I will marry you."

"Thank you," he said, kissing the top of her head.  "I need to take care of a few things and will be back in an hour or so.  Are you all right?"

Nodding, she leaned against his chest as he hugged her tightly.

****

Several hours later, in the front room of a small vicarage in Scotland they were married.  

Hermione was surprised when Remus slipped a rose gold band, decorated with vine and leaves, on her finger and handed her its mate.  With a trembling hand, she put it on his finger.  He kissed her chastely on the lips and they were husband and wife. 

Over lunch in a small pub in the village, Remus reminded her that they were to go to her parents that evening. Hermione felt the dread in her stomach and had to race to the ladies.

****

"Hermione!"

Her mother pulled her into a hug as her father put his arms around them both.  Remus stood in the doorway waiting, Crookshanks carrier in one hand.  Henry Granger looked at him and smiled.  "Thank you sir for bringing back my girl," he said, vigorously shaking Remus' hand.

"You may want to save your thanks, sir," Remus said, quietly looking Henry directly in the eyes. "I am Remus Lupin."

Henry's smile froze on his face, the hand gripping Remus' sliding out. "You son of a bitch," he growled.

"Henry," Janice warned her husband. "Not out here."

"You want me to invite this…this child molester into our home?" 

"Remus is my husband," Hermione said quickly.  Silence filled the entryway.  

"Come in, Mr. Lupin," Janice finally said as Henry reluctantly stepped aside.  "Everyone will have a seat and, Henry, you will help me fix some tea," she said firmly, giving her husband a look that brooked no protest.  The corners of Remus' mouth twitched as he noticed the resemblance between Hermione and her mother.

Hermione released Crookshanks and went to sit beside Remus on the sofa.  "It will be all right," he said encouragingly as she slipped her hand into his.  They sat in silence waiting her parents to return.  

Janice came into the room, with Henry following carrying a tray.  After tea was poured and offered, Janice cleared her throat. "Mr. Lupin," she said setting her untouched tea down, "you must understand how disappointed we are about this situation." Mr. Granger snorted. 

"Hermione is our daughter and we only want the best for her.  She is only sixteen and yet we find out she is pregnant.  She disappears in the middle of the night and then she  returns with the father of her child and tells us she is married— well we are in shock. 

"And Hermione, we never had a chance to discuss anything and you made the situation worse by getting married."

"She is getting an annulment," Mr. Granger said firmly.

"No, Dad, I will not.  I am sorry I disappointed you, but when I heard you telling Mum that I wouldn't be going back to the Wizarding world and that I would have to give up my baby, I just couldn't stand it."

"Mr. Granger, Mrs. Granger," Remus spoke quietly, "I realize you are upset and have every right to be.  The blame of all this lies on my shoulders."

"Damn straight," Henry growled.

"Henry," Janice said sternly. She looked at Remus. "Yes, Mr. Lupin.  The responsibility does lie on your shoulders.  You are the adult in this situation.  How could you take advantage of a young girl?"

"Mum—"

"No, she is right.  I think they need to hear what happened." Remus smiled encouragingly at Hermione. "It started with admiration for a clever, sensitive young witch who offered comfort to me at one of the lowest points in my life…"

Remus told them about Sirius' death, about the war with Voldemort, his injury and stay at Hogwarts, how he fell in love with Hermione, while skirting the more intimate details and the bonding spell.  Hermione looked warily at her parents.  She had never told them everything about Voldemort, only that he was an evil wizard who had tried to kill Harry as he had Harry's parents.

Her mum sniffed and wiped at her eyes with a napkin when Remus was finished.

"I love Hermione with my whole being," he said softly.  "And should something happen to me during this conflict I want the child she carries to be taken care of in the Wizarding community.  Though I am not well accepted, a legitimate half-breed's child will have it easier than a bastard's."

"Half-breed?" Henry asked dully.  He looked a bit dazed at what Remus had told him about a war. "You are only part wizard then?"

Hermione bit her lower lip, hoping Remus wouldn't tell them he was a werewolf.

"Something like that," Remus said quietly.  Hermione breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hermione," her mum said shakily. "Why didn't you tell us how dangerous life has become in the Wizarding world?"

"I didn't want to worry you and I knew you wouldn't want me to return."

"Of course, we wouldn't, " Janice said. "We want to keep you safe."

"But don't you see?  That is where I belong now.  I love you both and I will always be a part of this family but my real home is there."

A silence filled the room.  Remus gripped Hermione's hand in understanding.  The clock chimed eleven times.

"You have given us a lot to think about, Mr. Lupin," Henry said finally.

"It's Remus."

"Remus," Mr. Granger said slowly. "I think we all could use a good night's sleep and resume this conversation in the morning."

"Henry," Janice said looking thoughtfully at the couple on the couch, "could I see you in the kitchen a moment."

After they had left, Hermione leaned her head on Remus' shoulder. "I think they are warming up to you a bit."

"I wouldn't have blamed your dad if he had punched me," Remus said with a small laugh. "In fact it would have made me feel better."

Her parents came back into the room.  Remus stood getting ready to leave.  Mrs. Granger nudged her husband.

"It is late and you are welcomed to stay, " Henry said, "in the guest room," he added quickly. Hermione tried not to giggle as her mum rolled her eyes.

Remus knew it had taken a lot for her father to make the offer and he appreciated the gesture. "Thank you."  Hermione hugged her father who returned it wholeheartedly.

****

Hermione felt happier than she had for a while.  Dressed in a flannel gown with teddy bears, she turned down the bed covers. There was a soft knock at the door and her heart fluttered.  Surely Remus wouldn't come to her room?

"It's Mum.  Can I come in?"

"Yes," Hermione said, sitting down on her bed.

Janice shut the door behind her and sat down next to her daughter holding a box. Eyeing her she said, "Somehow I don't think teddy bears are appropriate for honeymoon attire."

Hermione laughed. "Seeing as my husband is down the hall, I really don't think it matters."

"Here." She thrust the box into Hermione's lap.  "I bought this for our vacation next month, but I think you need it more than I do."

She opened the box and lifted the black, satiny fabric.  "Mum," Hermione blushed as she held up the negligee.

"Now don't go all virginal daughter," said Janice briskly, "not with a baby in your belly.  Your young man is going into danger and I know you want to be with him and your dad is asleep," she said with a smile.

Hermione threw her arms around her mother. "Thank you so much. And I do love him you know."

"And I love you," Janice said patting Hermione's back.  She stood and gave a small sniff.  "Just be happy."

She gave her mum an encouraging smile as she left.

****

Hermione knocked softly on the guest room's door.  She smiled shyly at Remus' startled look that quickly turned to one of admiration as he stared at her. "Hermione," he whispered, his voice husky. "Come in."

She lifted the skirt of the negligee to keep from tripping on it.  "My mother's," she explained, blushing as Remus kept staring at her. 

"She has excellent taste," he murmured running his hand down her chest, brushing her already hardened nipples. Gazing into her eyes, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her passionately.  "My beautiful wife," he said solemnly as he brushed her hair away from her face.  Bending a bit, he swept her up and carried her over to the bed, laying her gently down.


	15. Trepidation

AN/ thanks so much! I cannot believe all the wonderful reviews. Thanks to AprilGrey for beta services  
  
Comfort XV  
  
Trepidation-A state of alarm or dread; apprehension.  
  
Hermione, feeling a bit guilty, snuck back to her bedroom before her parents woke. Remus was her husband, but still she felt shy about sleeping with him under their roof. Her faced burned as she remembered the way he had her screaming with pleasure and hoped her parents had slept through it.  
  
Breakfast was a pleasant affair, with Hermione's parents treating Remus more congenially than they had last night. She was surprised when her father asked Remus if he would like to meet him after work for a drink. Remus thanked him and agreed, but only if he weren't called away for the Order.  
  
After her parents had left for work, Remus kissed her longingly. "I must check in." He caressed her cheek. "I would rather stay with you." With a small smile, he Apparated.  
  
****  
  
Remus returned several hours later looking solemn. "I have an assignment," he said softly. "Will you let your father know?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Hermione, while at Headquarters, I told Molly about our marriage and the baby."  
  
"How did she take it?" Hermione asked nervously.  
  
Remus grinned. "Like I knew she would. She is already knitting blankets and booties." Hermione smiled. "Of course she scolded me at first, had to be the mother hen, then hugged me. She told me to tell you if you need any advice or help not to hesitate to let her know and that she loves you."  
  
"Oh," Hermione felt tears in her eyes. "I will owl her immediately."  
  
"Molly was very miffed about not being invited to the wedding until I explained we were married the Muggle way. I am under a death threat if we do not include her in planning for the Wizarding ceremony."  
  
Remus wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly.  
  
"Please be careful," Hermione said steadily.  
  
"I promise." He cupped her chin and kissed her sweetly. "Take care of yourself and the little one," he said gently. Hermione watched him leave, a feeling of trepidation running through her.  
  
****  
  
Two figures crept quietly across the roof, hiding in the shadows. At the edge, the first man leapt across the gap to the next roof, landing deftly on his toes. The other followed, sliding a bit when his feet touch down on the shingles that were damp from the misty rain. The leader motioned to a window on the left. With skill, he eased his body down until his legs were level beside it. With a flick of his wand, the window slid silently up. Swinging his body, the man propelled himself through the window, landing in a crouched position his wand at the ready. His mate swung through moments later scraping the side of the window frame and landing with a thud. A spell hit him squarely in the chest. The crouched figure heard another spell being cast, dropped his left shoulder and rolled, coming up on one knee. He caught the spell caster in the chest with his own spell.  
  
"You're dead, Weasley," said a gruff voice, "as are you, Dung."  
  
Bill pulled off the black wool hat, freeing his long mane of hair. He wore a bright red X on his chest as did Dung. "No fair," Bill complained. "Mad Eye could see us with that magical eye."  
  
Standing, Remus grinned. "You are doing well."  
  
Moody snorted. "So well that you are dead. It sounded like a herd of hippogriffs on the roof."  
  
"Mad Eye," Remus chided, "don't overwhelm him with your praise."  
  
"You only get one chance in this game," Moody growled. "Unless you have the luck of the Irish like this oaf does," he said nodding towards Mundungus.  
  
"'Tis all in knowing when to run," Mundungus chuckled while offering Bill a drink.  
  
Remus smiled as the men traded barbs. Bill was learning fast. After the botched job in the Ministry of Magic last year, Voldemort and his Death Eaters were on the offensive. Every week there was an attack on a wizarding family, every week more deaths. There were now more assignments than Remus could handle alone. It was urgent that Bill be trained in reconnaissance especially with Podmore's death. Sturgis had been the one to fill in when Remus was unavailable or incapacitated.  
  
"If you are ready, shall we try again?"  
  
Bill nodded, pulling the black wool hat on and stuffing his long hair up in it. "I think Moody should pop his eye out this time," he grumbled, following Remus out the window.  
  
****  
  
The rest of July passed quickly for Hermione. She busied herself by doing all the summer assignments and reading everything she could on childbirth and pregnancy. Trying to keep her mind off of Remus, she asked her mother to give her cooking lessons. It was during one of these lessons that the subject of her parents' vacation came up.  
  
"We are going to cancel," her mum said.  
  
"No, please don't," Hermione argued. It gave her the perfect opening to bring up something she had wanted to discuss, but was reluctant to. "I will be going to Headquarters at the end of the week."  
  
Her mum dropped the dish she was wiping. "Hermione, you can't," she said worriedly, picking up the pieces of the shattered plate. "It is too dangerous."  
  
"Headquarters is the safest place in all of England," Hermione explained, telling her how it was protected. "And in truth, I'm only in danger if I stay here."  
  
****  
  
"I will be going into Diagon Alley next week," Molly told Ginny and Hermione, who were setting the table for lunch. "Ron, I need to take your measurements. Everything is too short," she said in exasperation.  
  
"I think mum must have had an affair with Hagrid," teased Bill, who had joined them for lunch.  
  
Ron rolled his eyes at Harry who grinned back at him. "She should have put a rock on my head," he muttered, going into the pantry to fill a pitcher with butterbeer.  
  
"He is a tall drink of water, isn't he," Tonks agreed. Tonks and Moody had arrived early and was joining them for lunch. "Nice to have a day off," Tonks said with a grin, knocking over a stool as she headed for the table.  
  
There was the sound of footsteps on the stairs. "Arthur?" Molly asked.  
  
"Sorry Molly, just me," said Remus. Hermione's heart leapt. She turned to look at him. It had been five long weeks since she had last seen him and three since she had received a short note from him saying he was all right. Hermione's smile was wide and her eyes sparkled. Remus returned her smile as he tried to control the urge to rush over and kiss her. Ginny covered her mouth to hide her grin.  
  
"Get on with it you two," Moody grumbled, as he stomped by Remus to take a seat by Tonks.  
  
"Whom are you talking to?" Ron asked, as he sat a pitcher of butterbeer on the table.  
  
Molly was giving Moody a scathing look and shaking her head, but he ignored it.  
  
"Remus and Hermione. If you want a bit of snogging before we eat hurry up so we can get on with it."  
  
Harry and Ron's mouths dropped.  
  
"Mad Eye whatcha on about?" Tonks asked as Hermione blushed. "Why would they...oh." She grinned broadly as Remus blushed also.  
  
"Hermione? What are they talking about?" demanded Harry.  
  
"Oh, for heaven's sake," Molly said irritably. "Ron, Ginny, Harry, I want your word you will not make a fuss about this."  
  
"'Bout what?" Ron asked.  
  
Molly gave Hermione an apologetic glance. "Hermione is pregnant," she said calmly.  
  
"Yeah. We know," Ron said. "Some Muggle boy."  
  
"No, Ron," Hermione said nervously. "Not a Muggle boy, but by my husband."  
  
"You got married?" Harry gasped. "To whom?"  
  
"To me," Remus said quietly with a note of pride.  
  
"Oh!" squealed Tonks, knocking her chair over as she ran over to Remus and hugged him. "I knew it! I knew it! Well, not everything, but I knew you and Hermione were crazy about each other."  
  
Bill was smiling broadly. "Well done, old man," he said shaking Remus' hand and giving Hermione a kiss.  
  
"Have you all gone mad?" Harry asked coldly. "This is so wrong. How could you do that to her?" he shouted at Remus as he stood. "She is my age. You are old enough to be her father."  
  
"Harry, don't," Hermione pleaded.  
  
"And you. Couldn't even tell us who the father was, could you. Can't blame you. I would be ashamed to be shagging a...a... half breed like him."  
  
"Harry Potter!" Hermione said angrily. "Don't talk about Remus like that."  
  
"And I thought you were suppose to be the responsible one," Harry snarled turning on Remus. "Should have been you that went through the veil that night."  
  
"Harry!" Molly said aghast.  
  
"It's okay, Molly. Harry we need to talk about this," Remus said softly, his face pale.  
  
"I don't want to talk to you! Not now, not ever," Harry shouted as he raced up the stairs. Remus started to follow, but Tonks stopped him.  
  
"Let me. He's too angry with you right now. Besides, I know you are going to have to go after tonight's meeting. You should spend the time with Hermione," she said gently.  
  
Remus looked quizzically at the pink haired witch. When had she become so level headed? "Thank you." he walked over to Hermione and put an arm around her.  
  
"Ron? Ginny? Are you upset?" he asked the two Weasleys.  
  
"I already knew," Ginny admitted hugging him. "And I think it's wonderful."  
  
"I think it's bloody creepy if you ask me," Ron said truthfully. "I mean Hermione is my age, but I am not mad or anything. If she had to marry anyone, well, I am glad its you."  
  
"Thanks Ron," Hermione said gratefully.  
  
Ginny moved over to allow Remus to sit beside Hermione. "Lunch first," Molly told them with a wink.  
  
****  
  
Tonks found Harry in the large bedroom that housed Buckbeak. He was sitting on the bed watching Buckbeak rummage in the hay on the floor for bones.  
  
"Harry? Want to talk about it?"  
  
"No."  
  
She walked over and sat down next to him. Buckbeak eyed her suspiciously and ruffled his feathers. "I don't think he likes me," she said waving at the hippogriff. Tonks studied Harry a minute. "Why were you so angry at Remus, Harry?"  
  
Harry shrugged his shoulders. "Dunno."  
  
"Way I figure it, you feel like you've lost one of your best friends and your connection to Sirius."  
  
"No," Harry snapped. "Lupin had no right to...to,..."  
  
"Betray you?"  
  
"I don't know," he admitted. "It's just so wrong. He's so old."  
  
"Nothing wrong with that," Tonks said, leaning back on her elbows. "Girls mature faster than boys. I reckon Hermione wouldn't have been happy with anyone but an older man."  
  
"But she's my age," Harry protested.  
  
"Love does funny things to people," Tonks said with a grin. "Makes you forget things like age, propriety, you know, those silly rules people like to live by."  
  
Harry didn't say anything. After a few minutes he turned to look at Tonks. "Think she really loves him?"  
  
"No doubt about it mate," Tonks said with a smile, sitting back up.  
  
He nodded. "Still, the age difference..."  
  
"Listen, I know you respect Remus and he thinks the world of you. Give them a chance." She looked at him, a sly grin on her face. "How would you feel if an older woman liked you? Would you be freaked about the age difference or see what was what first."  
  
Harry blushed. "Dunno. I mean it isn't likely to happen, so never thought about it. Guess it would depend on who it was and if I liked her." Tonks smile widened. "Okay. I get your drift. I suppose it wouldn't matter."  
  
"Good," she said getting up. "Don't know about you, but I am starving."  
  
"Thanks, but I want to be alone for a bit."  
  
"Right." Tonks walked over to the door. "Oh, by the way, Harry. That question about an older woman liking you had a double meaning."  
  
His eyes widened. She gave him a wink and left. Harry flushed to the tips of his ears.  
  
****  
  
Sated and tired, Hermione lay on her back, Remus' head on her upper stomach as she stroked his sweaty hair. "Hermione," he said hesitantly. "If the baby is a boy..."  
  
"I think Sirius is a lovely name," she said quickly. She could feel him smile against her stomach.  
  
Remus laid his hand on her lower abdomen. "I hope he has your brilliant wit," he said lazily.  
  
Hermione smiled. "Perhaps she will have your eyes."  
  
"He, of course, will be a Gryffindor," Remus continued.  
  
"Maybe she will be in Ravenclaw instead."  
  
Remus laughed. "As long as our child is healthy and happy I don't care what sex it is. A dozen daughters would be fine with me."  
  
"A dozen?"  
  
Remus chuckled. "Okay, seven then," he teased. "Enough for our own Quidditch team."  
  
Hermione giggled. Remus rose and moved up to kiss her. Though they had just made love, he felt the stirrings of hunger for her once more.  
  
****  
  
Three nights later...  
  
Remus shifted in the small nook behind the painting, trying to give his legs some relief from the cramped position. This had been a very boring assignment thus far and he hoped Dumbledore would it give to someone else soon. He chided himself for such thoughts. Albus was generally always correct in his hunches. Jonas Hardwick, a healer, had been researching a potion that would give the drinker immunity to the Imperius Curses. If it was successful, the potion would be made available to the Wizarding Community and Voldemort would lose a very effective weapon. The Minister had supposedly been the only one privy to the information, but Severus had informed Dumbledore at the meeting three nights ago that the information had been leaked.  
  
He looked at the doppelganger sitting before the fire. The false Hardwick appeared to be reading a book and relaxing before bed. During the day it was programmed to go to the lab and sit at a table full of beakers and instruments. The real Hardwick had been whisked away to a safe house after the meeting where he worked on perfecting the potion.  
  
Sighing softly, Remus closed his eyes a moment as he thought of Hermione. Never had he hoped to feel so whole, to have someone as wonderful as she was to love him in return. He had long ago resigned himself to being alone because of his Lycanthropy. Then Sirius had broken through his defenses and taught him it was all right to love and to accept love. When Sirius had been taken to Azkaban, Remus had once again built those walls around his heart.  
  
After finding Sirius again after all those years, the walls had begun to crumble but not completely. Yet a young woman, innocent and honest, had broken them apart more fully than anyone ever had. How lucky he was that she loved him.  
  
His eyes flew open. Holding his breath he listened hard. A soft creak sounded on the stairs. Remus heard the soft click of boot heels now and he surmised there were three persons climbing the stairs. Pressing his eyes to the portrait, he stared into the room.  
  
The door swung open and three Death Eaters entered, two men and one woman. Remus felt his stomach tighten. There was only one woman Voldemort would entrust with this responsibility. He watched as the woman raised her wand and pointed it at the doppleganger.  
  
"Jonas Hardwick," said Bellatrix Lestrange. "Our Master has requested an audience with you. You can come willingly or not, but you will be going to see him."  
  
'Not likely,' Remus thought, putting the tip of his wand out the eyehole. "Impedimenta," he said quietly. The three Death Eaters were knocked off their feet, dazed. Remus pushed opened the portrait and cast Stupefy at the first one getting to his feet.  
  
One of the Death Eaters cast a spell at Remus, who ducked and aimed another Stupefy spell, catching him full in the face.  
  
"You again," hissed Bellatrix. "Annoying little flea. I think it's time to squash you." She cast the killing curse at him. Remus dropped and rolled behind the sofa. The sofa exploded, sending stuffing into the air. He sent a spell at her, which she reflected with the shield spell.  
  
"Are you sure you are not a cat, werewolf?" she asked mockingly. "A cat with nine lives?" Another jet of green light soared towards Remus. He tumbled away as it passed over his head.  
  
"'Fraid not, Bella," he said bitterly, casting the Expelliarmus charm at her. It rebounded on another shield charm and Remus sidestepped the jet. She shouted another curse at him at the same time he cast the Impedimenta jinx once more. The beams of magic passed so closely to each other, that the colors were blended for a moment. Taking a deep breath, Remus waited till the last second to fall to the floor, allowing the curse to hit a grandfather clock. The face of the clock shattered and it began chiming. Lying flat, he pointed his wand at her feet. "Stupefy!" he shouted. The spell struck home and she fell hard on her back.  
  
Getting to his feet, the clock still chiming loudly., Remus walked over to her. "It's over Bella," Remus said grimly, as he wrapped the unconscious woman in magical bonds, feeling deep satisfaction. He jerked as a sharp pain ripped through his side.  
  
Grimacing at the pain, he gripped at a hand that was twisting the handle of a knife, driving the blade deeper under his ribs. Suddenly the hand pulled away as someone gave a triumphant cry when the handle of the broken knife fell to the floor with a clatter.  
  
Putting his hand over the wound, Remus turned to see a short, stocky wizard. "Peter?" he gasped, as a fiery burning sensation radiated from the wound.  
  
"Hello Remus," Peter said with a sly grin. "And goodbye." He walked over to Bellatrix. Bending down he pulled out a small object from his pocket and touched it to her hand. She disappeared. With a pop, Peter Apparated.  
  
Remus could fell feel the blade still within him as he began gagging, spraying the floor with bloody foam. 'No' he thought wildly as the fiery burning spread faster through him. His vision swam as he staggered towards the fireplace. If only he could send a message or floo to safety...He didn't feel the pain of his knees striking the stones as he fell. Lying on his side, he tried to crawl forward, but didn't have the strength. "Hermione," he whispered as darkness flooded over him. 


	16. Bereavement

AN/ Big thanks for all the wonderful reviews. Thanks to AprilGrey for keeping me on track and betaing.  
  
Comfort  
  
Chapter XVI  
  
Bereavement-: the state or fact of being bereaved; especially : the loss of a loved one by death  
Bottom of Form  
  
****  
  
Hermione was sitting on her bed talking with Ginny when Molly and Tonks entered looking grave.  
  
"Hermione," Molly's voice was strained. "Get your jacket. Remus was hurt and is at St. Mungos."  
  
"How bad is it?" Hermione asked, her knees trembling as she grabbed her jacket.  
  
"We don't know. Dumbledore told Tonks to come get you straight away. Mundungus is waiting with a car." Harry and Ron appeared in the doorway. "We heard and want to come," Harry said.  
  
"Me too," piped Ginny.  
  
"Yes, all right," Molly said. "Just hurry."  
  
In minutes they were piled in the car Dung had 'borrowed' speeding along to St Mungo's. Hermione and Molly sat in front while the rest crammed in the back seat. Biting on her lip, Hermione pressed her hands together to keep them from shaking. "He will be okay, dear," Molly assured her, putting an arm around her shoulder.  
  
"Yeah," Harry added. "They fixed Mr. Weasley right up after the snake bit him." Tonks smiled approvingly at Harry who was sitting next to her and slipped her hand into his. He blushed, but gripped hers as their fingers intertwined.  
  
****  
  
At St. Mungo's, Hermione's heart sunk when she saw the line at the reception desk.  
  
"Hermione," Tonks called, gesturing. Dumbledore stood near the lift. The group made their way quickly towards him.  
  
"How is he?" Molly asked.  
  
"Molly," Albus said softly, "I need to talk with Hermione alone."  
  
Molly's face paled. "Right. We will wait here in the lobby." "Come with me, Hermione," Albus said gently.  
  
"What is this all about, Professor?" Hermione asked as they walked down the hall. "Where is Remus?"  
  
Dumbledore's eyes were bright and she saw a profound sadness in them. "How are you feeling?"  
  
Hermione's heart skipped. "Fine, really. Please, Headmaster, where is Remus?"  
  
"I will take you to him in just a moment, but first I must tell you that he is only alive ...only holding on, because he wants to see you." The old man's words were broken and weighted as if he did not have the strength to speak them. "And to have the Wizarding marriage ceremony performed, for your sake and the child's."  
  
She looked at him wide eyed. He had to be lying. "What? If he is alive then he will be all right, I mean, if he is able to hold on... my gods how badly is he hurt?" She whispered, her throat contracting.  
  
Albus put a hand on her shoulder as they walked. "The wound was fatal, Hermione. He should not even be alive right now. His lycanthropy has afforded him the strength to withstand the immense pain he is in and barely keep in check the damage being done to his body." He stopped and stared into her pale face. "Remus is in misery beyond anything I can even comprehend. He is waiting for you and, Hermione," Albus' hand squeezed her shoulder, "you must be brave enough to let him go."  
  
Hermione blinked, staring at the tired, old face before her. "No, I'm sorry, Headmaster, but you are mistaken. If he's fighting as you say, with his lycanthropy, he will be able to get well, you will see."  
  
"No child, he cannot get well. Remus was stabbed in the side..."  
  
"See, that's a simple wound," Hermione interrupted, not wanting Dumbledore to continue.  
  
"And the blade, you must hear me, shattered when it struck his rib bone."  
  
"Again a minor thing..."  
  
Albus grabbed her shoulders and shook her very gently. "The blade was silver, Hermione, silver-- do you hear what I am saying? Do you remember what silver does to a werewolf? Tell me, Hermione."  
  
"Acid," she mumbled  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"Acid!" she screamed at him, causing an orderly to jump and stare at them. Lowering her voice, she blinked back the tears. "Silver acts like acid to the werewolf."  
  
"Yes," he said gently, gripping her upper arm and leading her down the corridor. "And it is coursing through Remus' bloodstream as we speak. Had we found him earlier... It will not be very pleasant, Hermione, when you see him. It has affected his eyes, his kidneys, and his lungs. Do you understand?"  
  
"Yes," she muttered feeling the burning tears in her eyes. They stopped outside a door.  
  
"Hermione," Dumbledore said hesitantly. "I wouldn't suggest what am about too if there were another way..." Hermione tensed. "There might be a way to buy Remus more time, to give the potions a chance.  
  
"What?" she asked urgently.  
  
Dumbledore eyed her intently "The soul bonding spell Remus cast before. If it is cast during the wedding ceremony the affects will be stronger than before."  
  
"Then we must," she said quickly.  
  
"Do not be so hasty to agree," he warned. "Remember you will share his feelings and his pain. And if it does not work and Remus dies..."  
  
"Then I will die," she said in a whisper, her mind reeling. Could she face that? "Professor, if it works, will it harm the baby?"  
  
Dumbledore stroked his beard thoughtfully. "I do not know. The creation of a child broke the original spell. I have never heard of a case of the spell being cast on a pregnant woman. So yes, there is a chance it may harm the child."  
  
She clasped her hands tightly together as she paced. "Remus will never agree to it," she said simply.  
  
"I expect so."  
  
"Then we will not tell him," she said firmly. "Professor, I want to try the spell."  
  
Dumbledore smiled sadly. "Very well." He opened the door and stepped aside for her.  
  
Hermione felt like she was in a bad dream. The whole thing seemed surreal as she entered the room. Remus lay on the bed, pale and still. Two I.V. s hung by the bed, dripping slowly. 'I didn't know they used those', she thought dully.  
  
"They are trying to neutralize his blood," Albus explained. "He chokes too easily to give him a potion so they had to give it to him intravenously."  
  
Tentatively, she touched his hand. "Remus?"  
  
Remus' eyelids fluttered open. A sob escaped her lips when she saw his eyes. The whites were completely blood red, the small capillaries having ruptured. Lifting his hand, he reached up to cup her cheek. She grasped his with hers, holding on tightly.  
  
"I love you," he said.  
  
"And I ...love you."  
  
"I'm so sorry, so sorry."  
  
"Remus..."she couldn't finish. Tears ran down her cheeks.  
  
Albus cleared his throat. "We must hurry," he urged gently.  
  
"Yes," Remus agreed. He began coughing, flecks of blood appearing on his lips.  
  
"Join hands," Albus prompted. He pulled out a length of white ribbon and wrapped it around their joined hands and wrists. Opening a small book, he began chanting in Latin. After several minutes he closed the book.  
  
"Remus."  
  
"I pledge my heart, soul and love to you, Hermione, for as long as life is." Hermione repeated the words, her voice strong and steady. She watched as the ribbon that bound them turned silver colored.  
  
"I need you both to repeat what I am about to say together," Albus instructed. Hermione repeated the words. Through her tears she saw Remus' eyebrows rise slightly as he repeated the words almost cautiously. Again Albus spoke a phrase and they echoed him. Now a crease was forming between Remus' eyes and Hermione was afraid he was in pain. She repeated the next phrase Albus spoke and grew worried when Remus did not.  
  
"Remus?"  
  
Dumbledore held up his hand to quietened her. "Remus, you need to say the words,"  
  
Shaking his head, Remus looked at Albus warily. "No."  
  
"It's the only way."  
  
"Remus, please," Hermione begged, "for me."  
  
"Hermione, no. I am not worth it."  
  
"Yes, you are," she said steadily. Remus groaned as his body jerked.  
  
"Say them," Albus commanded.  
  
Hermione grasped Remus' hands tighter as he began to writhe in pain. "Say it!"  
  
Choking, Remus repeated the words. Hermione cried out as pain coursed through her body, burning, searing pain. Her breath was coming in gasps and black spots appeared before her eyes.  
  
"Hermione," she heard Remus' alarmed voice as from far away. "What have we done?"  
  
****  
  
"Good morning!" Molly's cheerful voice made Hermione wince, as the older woman bustled through the door of Remus' bedroom carrying a tray with breakfast on it. "He made it through the night just fine."  
  
Hermione closed her eyes thanking God. She had been so afraid that Remus did not have the strength to withstand the transformation last night. "Where is he?"  
  
"In the study. Dumbledore wanted a word with him," Molly said. She noticed Hermione stiffening at the mention of Dumbledore. "He still wants to talk with you..."  
  
"No."  
  
Molly studied the young woman. "You will have to see him sometime. School starts in a few days." Hermione did not answer. She stood looking at the wall with her arms crossed.  
  
"I will send Remus up when he is finished," she said, leaving the tray on the dresser.  
  
Picking up a piece of toast, Hermione chewed on it, her mind on Remus. She was so grateful that he was alive, she couldn't have borne to lose him too. Her hand strayed down to her abdomen, feeling the slightly rounded flesh. A cramp ran through her and she threw the toast against the wall.  
  
Dumbledore had led them through the Anima Uigumus in the hospital that day. Once again their souls had been bonded and Hermione had felt the excruciating pain Remus was in. In exchange she had given him her strength. It had been enough to help him fight; to allow the potions to dilute the silver tainted blood in his body. But at a great cost. The child she had carried had not been able to withstand the pain his mother was in.  
  
Hermione awoke two days later in a hospital bed beside Remus', sore and with a thick pad between her legs. The emptiness within had been the worst. She felt numb and depression had veiled her mind for the past two weeks. It had soon changed to anger, anger she had directed at Dumbledore, fate and then finally herself for believing that it would all work out. She didn't want to see Dumbledore to hear him say that she had done the right thing. Molly had already done that often enough.  
  
"It was the only way." Molly said trying to soothe her. "You knew there was a chance the baby might be at risk, but without the spell Remus would have died. Wasn't it worth it?"  
  
'Was it?' She knew deep down it had been. Still, it did not ease the emptiness she felt inside.  
  
"You are young, Hermione," Molly had told her. "There will be time for babies."  
  
She had hated Molly for her words, had wanted to jerk her red hair out and scream at her. Deep down she understood. Perhaps that was why she was so angry. Why did it have to be either life?  
  
"Hermione?"  
  
Lost in her thoughts, she had not heard the door open. Remus stood there, pale and thin, but alive. She raced over and fell into his arms. They hugged each other tightly, comforting and healing. After several minutes, he broke away a bit. Placing his hand under her chin, he lifted her face and kissed her softly. Hermione looked into his still bloodshot eyes. His eyesight had suffered yet the healers had been optimistic that he would regain most of his vision.  
  
"Don't you want to sit down?" she asked, worried as she felt him tremble.  
  
He shook his head. "I love you," he said gently.  
  
"And I you."  
  
They stood there clinging to each other until she felt Remus stumble against her. "To bed," she said firmly, taking his hand and leading him to the bed. He didn't protest as she turned down the covers. Sitting wearily on the edge of the bed, he wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his head in her stomach.  
  
Stroking his hair, she felt him cry silently against her.  
  
"Sit down, Hermione, we need to talk," he said finally, wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve.  
  
Every nerve in her body seemed to come alive and fear seeped over her. "Remus, what is it? Are you in pain..."  
  
"No. I am fine, physically..." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. A nervous habit she had come to love as it tousled the gray streaked brown locks. "Dumbledore asked me to give this to you." He put his hand in his pocket and withdrew a small gold badge. Placing it in her hand, he smiled sadly. "Congratulations, Head Girl."  
  
Hermione snorted softly. "Is this his way of trying to console me?" she asked sarcastically.  
  
"Not at all," Remus said gently. "You were chosen at the end of last term. It was late arriving because he was not sure if you would be returning after getting married."  
  
She looked at him curiously. "I had never thought of not going back to school, unless they forbade it."  
  
"It is a moot point now." She did not miss the bitterness in his voice. "Remus..."  
  
"Hermione, school is one point I want to discuss with you," he said seriously. "When you return, I want you to promise me that you will think about what I am about to say."  
  
Feeling his sadness, she nervously waited.  
  
"You deserve to be a teenager. A young woman with the world at your feet. I want you to explore your options in life, to find lovers, to be the person you could never be just because one year ago you offered comfort to me. I have thought over this the two weeks I was in the hospital." He closed his eyes. His face filled with grief. "I heard you crying, mourning the loss of our child and I realized you were just a child yourself. I stole that, Hermione. Don't you see? Things went too fast love. I didn't give you time to grow up."  
  
"What?" She jerked her hands away. "Remus, what are you saying?" Her face fell. "Are you telling me you don't want me anymore...that it's my fault about the baby?"  
  
"Never. I have not or never will think that, Hermione. What you did took courage and more love than I deserve and I love you with every fiber of my being, but I cannot be selfish any longer. If you want your freedom, I want you to promise me that you will not hesitate to ask. We can get the Muggle marriage annulled."  
  
Hermione felt as if she were drowning. "But...but the Wizard Marriage, it is forever."  
  
He shook his head. "It is, but it must be consummated to be binding. The ribbon is silver and will not turn to gold until we consummate it. After six months, the ribbon will turn back to white and it is null and void." He gave her a small smile. "Never doubt that I don't want you and love you. I will never love anyone more than I do you," he said cupping her cheek. "but I don't want you to wake up ten years from now full of resentment because you missed out on life. Just promise you will think about it."  
  
"I will not change my mind," she said determinedly, "But I promise."  
  
Remus relaxed. "That's my girl. I am so drained, I need to rest. Stay with me?"  
  
Hermione crawled into the bed and snuggled up to him as he stretched out. "Always." 


	17. Victorious

AN/ WOW! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. But all things must come to an end. This is the last chapter, although there will be an epilogue. I hope you have enjoyed the story. And big thanks to April for wonderful beta services and encouragement.  
  
Comfort XVII  
  
Victorious-evincing moral harmony or a sense of fulfillment : FULFILLED  
  
****  
  
It was Christmas Eve and the Gryffindor common room was warm and cheery, decorated with baubles and ribbons. Snow was falling heavily, the white glistening flakes making intricate splotches against the panes before melting into droplets of water. Students relaxed and chatted before the roaring fire. More students had opted to stay over the holidays this year, claiming that they had to study for the upcoming NEWTS or OWLS. The unspoken reason was that Hogwarts was the safest place in the Wizarding World with the rise of Voldemort. The Daily Prophet grew thicker each week, with more stories of tragedy, death and destruction.  
  
"Nice T-shirt, Harry," Ginny teased as she sat down at the table where Ron and Harry were playing wizard chess.  
  
"You'd think it was the only one he owned," laughed Ron.  
  
Harry blushed. Tonks had given him the black t-shirt with the 'Weird Sisters' emblazoned in bright pink on the front.  
  
"Something to remind you of me," she had told him the night before he had to leave for Hogwarts. Then she had kissed him. Harry smiled, thinking of that kiss that had sent sparks through him.  
  
"Checkmate," Ron said with satisfaction as his queen smashed Harry's last knight. "Ten to zero. Care for another game?"  
  
"No thanks," Harry laughed. "I am beginning to feel like a loser."  
  
"How about Exploding Snap then?" Ginny asked. "Maybe Hermione would like to play too?"  
  
"You ask her," Ron said with a shudder. "She's in one of her 'thinking' moods."  
  
"Oh," Ginny said soberly, looking around for Hermione.  
  
"I'll do it," Harry said, getting up.  
  
Hermione sat in a chair by a window, her Ancient Runes text lay on the floor at her feet. Crookshanks was curled up in her lap purring contentedly as she stroked his head.  
  
"Hermione?"  
  
She jerked out of her revelry to look up at Harry. "Want to play a game of Exploding Snap with us?" he asked tentatively. He never knew how Hermione would react nowadays.  
  
The first couple of weeks back at school, Hermione had been withdrawn and melancholy. Her sad eyes often filled with tears. They hadn't known how to comfort her, even Ginny seemed at a lost. Harry couldn't imagine losing a child but sympathized with her. It was hard losing anyone, even someone you didn't know yet.  
  
"No thanks."  
  
"Okay." Harry started to leave then asked. "Are you thinking of Remus?"  
  
She eyed him carefully. "Ginny tell you?"  
  
"Yeah. About Remus offering to annul the marriage."  
  
"I guess you are going to tell me it's for the best," she snipped.  
  
Harry shook his head. "Well, if two people love each other I think they should be together."  
  
"IF it was meant to be you mean," she said sarcastically.  
  
"No. I mean if two people care for each other they need to come right out and just say so. They could wait their lives away for fate to throw them together."  
  
Hermione looked at him in wonderment. "When did you become so wise in matters of the heart, Mr. Potter?"  
  
"Tonks," he muttered, his cheeks turning red. "I guess it comes down to one thing Hermione. What do you really want to do?"  
  
She turned and looked out the window once more. Harry waited patiently for a few minutes.  
  
"I want to go see Dumbledore," she said firmly, getting up and giving Harry a hug.  
  
****  
  
"Hermione," Remus said in surprise as he opened the door to number 12 Grimmauld Place. What are you doing here?"  
  
"Freezing," she said with a nervous laugh. "Are you going to let me in or am I going to stand here till I turn into an ice block?"  
  
Looking dazed, he stepped aside. After locking the door, he turned to look at her "How..."  
  
"I Apparated. I got my license last month and, yes, Dumbledore knows where I am. Also I came because I couldn't bear the thought of you spending Christmas alone," she explained quietly, eyeing the curtain covering Mrs. black's portrait.  
  
Remus shook his head as a broad grin graced his face. "Let's go to the kitchen," he said, softly putting a hand on her elbow. "The fire's warm and I will fix you some tea."  
  
Sitting on a footstool, Hermione warmed her socked feet before the fire. "Here you are." Remus handed her a cup a tea. "One sugar and milk."  
  
"Thanks," she said, sipping the hot liquid. The cup clattered on the saucer as her hand shook a little.  
  
Remus sat down on the floor in front of her, picking up her feet and placing them in his lap. He rubbed one between his hands as he studied her. "Getting warmer?"  
  
Flushing she nodded. He looked so good to her. The firelight reflected in his smoky gray eyes and made gold streaks in his hair. Dressed in faded jeans and the jumper she had made him last Christmas, he looked very handsome. But there was something different... "I like the glasses," she said, admiring the gold frames.  
  
Remus chuckled. "I think they make me look respectable, don't you think?"  
  
"Very," she said smiling into her cup.  
  
"Hermione, I appreciate that you didn't want me to be alone, but wouldn't you rather be with your friends or your parents? I feel like there is another reason you came here tonight."  
  
She swallowed her tea hard, wanting to say that he was her family, her best friend, but she couldn't form the words.  
  
"What's the matter Hermione?" Remus asked gently, moving to kneel beside her. He brushed a damp curl off her cheek. "I feel how nervous you are and you are afraid. Is there something you want to tell me?"  
  
"Yes..."  
  
"I won't bite," he said with a small smile.  
  
She felt such a wave of sorrow rush over her that she almost sobbed. Looking into his eyes, she tried to smile. "I just wanted to say... I love you."  
  
He brushed her cheek with his fingers. "I love you, too, but there is something else you wanted to say, isn't there?"  
  
"I...I...I need to go to the loo," she said, getting up.  
  
Feeling her anxiety flow through him, Remus watched her leave. .He stood and rested his arm on the mantle, staring into the fire. 'She's going to tell me she wants her freedom,' he thought wearily. 'And I will let her go, for her sake.'  
  
"It will be better this way," he said bitterly.  
  
"What will be better?"  
  
Turning to look at her, Remus' arm slipped off the mantle as he lost his footing. He straightened up quickly and stared. She was standing in the doorway, wearing the black negligee she had worn on their wedding night at her parents. His blood raced as his body started to react to the delicious sight of her. Her hair was damp and disheveled, her cheeks pink and her eyes bright; she was intoxicating. His nostrils flared as she neared him, the aroma of her perfume, a light flowery scent, didn't mask the smell of 'her' that he had come to love.  
  
"Hermione," he groaned softly, "What do you think you're doing?" He fought the desire to grab her. If he touched her now, there would be no turning back.  
  
"I'm here to be with my husband and to claim my wifely rights," she said shyly, though there was a glint of determination in her eyes.  
  
"Hermione..." his hands reached out to her instinctively. Grasping her around the waist, he pulled her closer but kept her body from touching his.  
  
"You promised me you would think about what I said about being free."  
  
"And I did," she said defiantly. "I have done nothing else but think about 'it' and you. Do you know, Remus Lupin, that I am going to fail my NEWTs and it will be all your fault?"  
  
"Moi?" he asked teasingly.  
  
"Yes, you. I want you, to be with you. Nothing will change that." She moved closer, running her hands up his jumper.  
  
Remus' hands moved to encircle her waist. He was trembling with need. "Hermione, be sure. There will be no changing your mind later."  
  
"I will never change my mind," she murmured, standing on her toes and pressing her lips to his.  
  
Her moist lips against his created a moan deep in his throat. Crushing her to him, he kissed her back with all the longing and love that had been repressed these last months. Their mouths sought each other's again and again, until Remus wanted to taste the sweetness within. Parting her lips, he tasted her, urging her to do the same.  
  
"Remus," she whispered when he broke the kiss at last, his hot kisses trailing down her throat and back up to her ear.  
  
"I want you so much Hermione," he groaned. "But I want you to be sure."  
  
Lifting one leg, she urged him to pick her up. He obliging lifted her as she wrapped her legs around him, his hands on her butt, holding her. "How can you ask that?" she asked, nibbling on his neck and grinding against him. "You are part of me. How can I live without all of me?"  
  
"I love you," he said fiercely, claiming her mouth once more. He moved towards the dining table, sitting her down. Hermione smiled and lay back on the cool wood.  
  
"Hermione," he growled, leaning over and running a hand down her body, across her breasts, down her stomach and to her knees. "We should go upstairs..."  
  
"No, I need you now," she urged, whimpering a little as his hand slid upward, pushing up the negligee.  
  
"My beautiful wife," he murmured, as he pushed the negligee up above her hips. He could feel her desire coursing through his veins as strong and demanding as his own.  
  
"Remus, I want you to make love to me now," she said huskily.  
  
Drunk on desire, he stood up; never taking his smoky eyes off of her as he quickly shed his clothes. Taking his wand out of the pocket of his jeans, he pointed it at her.  
  
"No," she said quietly, meeting his gaze steadily.  
  
He drew in a sharp breath. "Are you sure?"  
  
She laughed softly, holding her arms out to him. "Quit asking so many damn questions and come here."  
  
Remus moved between her legs, shaking with the intensity of the emotions running through him. Leaning down he kissed her gently. "Forever," he said huskily as they joined.  
  
"Forever," she said, gripping his back and pulling him closer.  
  
Their lovemaking was intense, each feeling the others emotions and kindled with the reality that their commitment would be complete. He could feel himself within her, reeling once more at the sensation the bonding spell allowed them to share.  
  
"Sweet Hermione," he gasped as he felt her tighten around him, as her hands gripped his forearms, her nails digging in as she urged him to go deeper.  
  
She exploded around him and with a shout he followed.  
  
Collapsing against her, Remus lay there panting, feeling her stroke his sweaty back. Finally he rose up to look at her. Her face was shining with sweat and happiness. "I love you, Mrs. Lupin," he said softly, overwhelmed as he felt tears in his eyes.  
  
"And I love you, Mr. Lupin," she said, a quiver in her voice and he knew she was as overwhelmed as he was. He kissed her tenderly, thanking the heavens that she hadn't changed her mind about being with him.  
  
Holding out his hand, he helped her off the table. She giggled.  
  
"And just what is so funny?" he asked in mock dismay.  
  
"I was just imaging Mrs. Weasley if she knew what we had just done in 'her' kitchen away from home."  
  
Remus laughed, hugging his blushing wife in pure enjoyment. "It wasn't the first time," he said slyly, not feeling any remorse about that evening so long ago.  
  
"No," she sighed contentedly, snuggling in his embrace.  
  
"We need to get you upstairs and in a warm bed before you get chilled."  
  
"Remus, maybe we could just stay here tonight? Remember how you changed the rug that night?"  
  
Smiling, he picked up his wand and transfigured the thin rug into a thick comforter. "Accio pillows, Accio blankets," he said. In moments, the pillows and blankets came speeding into the kitchen. Remus spread the blankets over the comforter then held out his hand to her.  
  
"Just a minute," she said. Hermione hurried over to her cloak that was hanging on a nail near the stove. Her smile was wide as she came back and crawled beneath the blankets. Remus lay down beside her. They turned on their sides to look at each other.  
  
"You are so beautiful," he whispered sincerely, lovingly stroking her cheek. She took his hand and pressed something soft into it. Opening his fingers he saw the gold silk ribbon.  
  
"Forever," she said.  
  
"Forever," he agreed, cuddling her to him.  
  
****  
  
"I can't believe it's June already," Ginny said yawning wide.  
  
"I can," moaned Ron. "First those NEWTs and we still have the end of the year exams next week. I've had a headache for a week now."  
  
Hermione smiled behind her Arthimacy book. She felt sad that her life at Hogwarts was coming to an end, but was excited about her new life with Remus and her new job. The owl had arrived two days ago saying that she had been tentatively accepted at the Ministry in an entry-level position. She hadn't shared the news with her friends yet for she wanted Remus to be the first to know.  
  
With McGonagall's permission, she was allowed to talk with Remus by floo network every Friday night for one hour. There had been weeks he wasn't available but it was much nicer than sending letters.  
  
"Has anyone seen Harry?" asked Ron.  
  
Hermione frowned. "I haven't seen him since dinner. He said he had a meeting with Dumbledore." Since February Harry had been called to meetings with the Headmaster to discuss the movements and plans of the Order. Since he was the one that had to defeat Voldemort, Dumbledore had inducted him into the Order. Ron was a bit put out by this when he had asked why he and Hermione couldn't be inducted also. He had received the same response George and Fred, who were now working for the Order, had several years ago. 'We only want those who are out of school and of age.' Harry however, was a different story.  
  
The booming voice of Professor McGonagall startled the students. Several jumped and Crookshanks' hair stood on end as her bodiless voice came from the ceiling. "All Prefects to the front Hall. All Prefects to the Front Hall." Hermione jumped up quickly as did Ron. The other Gryffindor Prefects were heading towards the portrait hall. "All students are to stay in the common rooms. Any student caught outside his or her own house will be severely punished."  
  
They arrived in the Great Hall with the others. McGonagall stood with her wand out, looking grave. "Attention," she barked, quietening the whispering students. Hermione noticed that the Slytherin Prefects were not there.  
  
"You have noticed that some of your fellow Prefects are not in attendance. I must stress the seriousness about what is happening. Hogsmeade is being attacked as we speak." There were gasps and one fifth year screamed. "Silence! You must keep calm. The Death Eaters are trying to gain entrance to the school. The possibility of this is almost nonexistent. The grounds are protected, however we must be on guard. Because of the nature of those in Slytherin," she lifted her chin. "Professor Flitwick has warded the Slytherin house so the students cannot leave."  
  
"But professor, what if something happens..."  
  
"Nothing will happen, but if the worse does occur the wards will come down quickly and the students can run or fight. Your job tonight will be patrolling the castle and the grounds. I only want seventh years outside and no one, I repeat, no one, will attempt to engage an intruder if at all possible. Those outside will send up red sparks if they are in trouble or spot someone. Those in the castle will use the portraits to send a message to the other teachers. You will pair off in threes. Any questions?"  
  
Hermione wanted to ask her about Harry, but knew that now was not the time. McGonagall began to assign parts of the castle to each group. "Miss Granger," she motioned her to come nearer. "You, Mr. Weasley and Mr. Finch- Fletchly will take the east side of the grounds. Do not go into the Forbidden Forest. Are you clear on what is expected?"  
  
"Yes," Hermione said. Ron and Justin echoed her response.  
  
They went out into the dark night. Light rain had dampened the grass and chilled the air.  
  
"So, what's the plan?" Justin asked.  
  
"We will walk around the edge of the forest to Hagrid's, check his hut, then continue to the greenhouses," Hermione said.  
  
"Right," Ron agreed. Their eyes met briefly, their concern for their friend unspoken.  
  
Quietly they made their rounds. When they got to Hagrid's, Ron went in first. Fang the boarhound met him with a bark and promptly slobbered all over the front of his robes. "I think we can say no one's in here," he said with a nervous laugh. "Fang would be hiding under the bed."  
  
Exiting the hut, they saw something in the distance, hovering over Hogsmeade. Hermione gripped Ron's arm hard.  
  
"It's the Dark Mark," Ron whispered in fear. "Does that mean...?"  
  
"We can't think that way," Hermione said firmly, though she felt the dread run through her also. "Let's check the greenhouses as planned."  
  
The trio neared the long line of greenhouses. "Let's each take one and meet in the middle," Ron suggested. "It will be quicker that way."  
  
"I agree," Justin said quietly.  
  
"I don't know, McGonagall said to stay together."  
  
"We won't be that far apart. Come on, Hermione. You take this one; I'll take greenhouse three and, Justin, you take four. We will all meet in greenhouse two. All right."  
  
"I suppose," she said reluctantly. They split up.  
  
Hermione entered the greenhouse cautiously. The dark greenhouse resembled a jungle, heavy fronds cast strange shadows across the tables and the aroma of dragon dung filled the air. Not daring to use a light spell, she carefully made her way through the long aisles, heading for the door at the far end. Satisfied there was no one in the green house, she exited and entered into the next one.  
  
She was halfway through the greenhouse when she heard a yell. Her heart began to pound, knowing it had been Ron. Running down the long aisle, she exited. Trying to catch her breath, she entered the next one catiously. "Ron?" she said as loudly as she dare to. Moving slowly down the narrow aisle between the tables, she held her wand in front of her.  
  
Her foot caught on something and she fell, rolling as she did. Looking behind her, she saw Ron lying on the ground. Crawling over to him, she held her breath until she saw that he was breathing shallowly. There was a shuffling sound behind her and she looked back quickly. Nothing. Then to her left she saw something dart pass her and she almost screamed until she recognized the bald tail of a rat disappearing out of sight. 'Don't freak out over a rodent' she laughed inwardly. A rat...'Scabbards?'  
  
Something gripped her right wrist and dragged her to her feet. Hermione gasped as she looked into the sweating face of Peter Pettigrew. "Well if it isn't the bushy haired Mudblood," he said gleefully. Holding her wrist with his silver hand, he squeezed it hard, causing Hermione to cry out in pain as her wand fell from her limp hand.  
  
"Let me go!" she screamed, kicking him in the leg. Wormtail grunted and slapped her across the face with his other hand. Hermione's head jerked back but she still tried to kick at him. He pointed his wand at her. "Locomotor Mortis."  
  
Her legs locked together and it was only his grip on her wrist that kept her from falling forward. "What did you do to Ron?" she demanded, still trying to wretch away from him.  
  
"He's alive," Peter said with a nasty laugh. "I thought I owed him that much for all the years he took care of me as Scabbards. Of course he will probably wish I had killed him once the others overrun the school."  
  
"They will never win," Hermione said with conviction.  
  
Wormtail laughed. "Foolish girl. We already have. The Dark Mark signaled my Master to the spot where Potter was. I am sure he is dead by now as you will be. Pity I couldn't wait for dear Lupin to witness this but there are places to go, people to kill. Imagine my surprise to hear my old friend had gotten married and I wasn't invited. A mudblood was the best he could hope for I suppose."  
  
"Remus is worth more than all your so called purebloods," she said angrily.  
  
"Such devotion. I will be sure to let him know your last words were in defense of him." He raised his wand. "Avada Ked..."  
  
The side of the greenhouse exploded, sending shards of glass everywhere as two beams of light hit Pettigrew, lifting him off his feet. Hermione instinctively threw her hands over her head as glass pelted her.  
  
"Hermione!"  
  
She lifted her head to see Remus and Bill climbing through the hole in the greenhouse. Remus reached her side first. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Yes. Remus what happened? Is Harry..." her words trailed off as Remus turned away from her and picked Wormtail off the floor with his hands clasped around Peter's neck.  
  
"You damn bastard!" Remus spat.  
  
Pettigrew squirmed as Remus lifted him high. "Rem...us..." he gasped, gripping Remus' arms trying to break the crushing choke hold. Pettigrew tongue lolled out as his lips turned blue.  
  
"Remus, no!" Hermione shouted. "Bill, stop him."  
  
"Remus, let go," Bill urged, trying to break Remus' hold on Pettigrew.  
  
"He deserves to die!" Remus growled.  
  
"But not by you," Bill reasoned. "You don't want to go to Azkaban for murder."  
  
"Please Remus!" Hermione begged. "Don't, for me."  
  
Remus' shoulders sagged and he released Peter, who fell to the floor unconscious.  
  
He released her from the leg lock spell. She was bleeding from the shards of glass sticking everywhere on her. Remus cast a spell and the glass flew towards his wand like a magnet. "Oh love," he whispered gathering her in his arms as she sobbed against his chest. "I am so sorry to hurt you, but it was the only way."  
  
"We were following Pettigrew when he transformed. If we hadn't heard someone cry out, we would have never came this way," Bill said. "Didn't know what kind of spell Wormtail was about to cast at you, but we figured it couldn't be good."  
  
"Ron!" Hermione cried, remembering him. "He was the one who cried out. He's over in the next aisle. They ran quickly over to Ron. "He's only stunned," Bill said in relief, enervating his brother.  
  
"What happened?" Ron asked, looking dazed. "Bill? Is the school under attack?"  
  
"It's over," Remus said with a smile. "Voldemort is dead."  
  
"But we saw the Dark Mark," Hermione gasped, unbelieving what she had heard.  
  
"That was part of Dumbledore's plan. Snape had brought us detailed information on the attack tonight. Voldemort's instructions to his Death Eaters were to find Harry and signal by casting the Dark Mark in the sky. Harry was with Dumbledore and Snape, waiting in a small clearing outside Hogsmeade. Phoenix members were to keep the rest of the Death Eaters occupied so the fight would only be between them. Snape conjured the signal when Dumbledore instructed," Bill explained excitedly.  
  
"Then it's really over?" Hermione whispered.  
  
"Yes love," Remus sighed, wrapping her tighter in his arms. "There are still skirmishes with the Death Eaters going on, but once they realized Voldemort is dead they will flee or surrender."  
  
"And Harry's okay?" Ron asked, a grin on his face.  
  
"Yes. He will be. The spell he used on Voldemort drained him," Remus said solemnly. "In time he will be."  
  
Justin came in, his wand at the ready. They quickly explained to him what had happened.  
  
"We need to head for the castle," Bill said, putting an arm around his brother's shoulders. "I have a feeling there will be a celebration going on."  
  
Exiting the greenhouse, Hermione felt the rain on her face. Looking up in the sky she no longer saw the hideous visage of a green skull and snake. "It's truly over, isn't it," she said softly. Remus took her hand.  
  
"Yes." He pulled her to him and lifted her chin. "But it's just beginning for us." He lowered his mouth to hers and she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him passionately.  
  
"Hey you two," Bill teased. "You will be late for the celebration. Unless you want a private 'celebration'."  
  
"I didn't need to hear that," Ron groaned.  
  
Remus and Hermione broke apart and laughed. Hand in hand, they followed after the others. 


	18. Epilogue

Comfort  
  
Epilogue- a concluding section that rounds out the design of a literary work  
  
****  
  
"Your dinner, mademoiselle," Remus stated, sitting the plate in front of Hermione.  
  
"Thank you, monsieur," she said, breathing in deeply the wonderful aroma of the Chicken Kiev, asparagus with a light béarnaise sauce and fresh yeast bread. Remus smiled and kissed her cheek before sitting down beside her.  
  
"I do like it when it's your night to cook," she sighed, taking a bite of the chicken. Her cooking had improved over the last seven years but she still could not compete with Remus' expertise.  
  
They ate in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the food.  
  
Remus' cottage was cheery and warm. The upstairs had been repaired and the roof had proper shingles. "It needed a woman's touch," he had stated once the little house had finally been put right.  
  
"It was just lonely," she had replied teasingly.  
  
"So how did it go today?" Hermione asked, sipping her coffee.  
  
Shaking his head, Remus grinned. "You don't want to know. We have a new recruit that makes Tonks look like a graceful swan."  
  
She laughed. "That bad?"  
  
"Worse."  
  
Remus was working at the Ministry training aurors. Three years ago when Fudge had been ousted by a landslide election, Kingsly Shacklebolt had been made Minister. He had promptly hired Remus, throwing out the legislation that had forbade werewolves from employment. A lot of positive changes had been made by the former Phoenix member.  
  
"And your day?" he asked lightly, knowing she couldn't say much about her work.  
  
"Uneventful," she said lightly, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth.  
  
Hermione worked in the Department of Mysteries. The top-secret nature of her research was such that she could not even tell her husband.  
  
"Actually, I gave them my month's notice today," she said casually, as she dipped her spoon into the strawberry tart Remus had made for dessert. "I thought it was time for a career change.  
  
"You know I will support whatever you chose to do, love," he assured her. "What kind of work were you interested in?"  
  
Smiling Hermione looked directly into his eyes. "I thought I would try motherhood."  
  
Remus dropped his fork and it clattered to the floor. "I see," he said slowly, bending down to retrieve the utensil. Rubbing it clean with his napkin, he looked sadly at her. 'Should I even try to think about it this time?'  
  
They both had wanted a child so badly. It seemed they didn't have to wait long. Hermione found out she was pregnant five weeks after the defeat of Voldemort. They had slipped away from the party in the castle that night to the private room in the garden. There, she had become pregnant, the soul bonding spell broken once more. Four weeks after they had found out she was indeed pregnant their joy had turned to heartache when she had miscarried.  
  
For the next three years they had tried to be positive. After five more miscarriages, Hermione had wanted to stop trying. Remus had felt the same. The pain was just too much and they did have each other. It was enough.  
  
Then three years ago Harry and Tonks' daughter had been born and they had made the Lupins Lillian Potter's godparents. Hermione had wanted to try again. A baby had been conceived and again she had miscarried. The depression had almost destroyed her and Remus never wanted her to go through that again.  
  
Now she was telling him she wanted to try once more.  
  
"Hermione, sweetheart," he said gently. "We, I, can't bear to see you hurt."  
  
Hermione smiled. She got up and went over to him. Taking his hand she placed it on her stomach. Pulling out her wand she tapped his hand. "Sensato."  
  
A fluttery sensation ran through his fingers. It took him a moment to realize that it was coming from her. "Love?" he asked breathlessly, looking up at her. Tears were running down her cheeks.  
  
"Yes. We already have a good start."  
  
He shook his head, closing his eyes. "Hermione don't do this to us."  
  
Putting a hand on his head, she stroked his hair. "You don't understand Remus. I am all right this time. The healer told us if I could make it past the first trimester there was a very good change I would carry the baby. Remus, I am sixteen weeks pregnant."  
  
Raising his head slowly, he looked at her in disbelief. "Does this mean..."  
  
"Yes," she said happily as he stood. "I went to the healer today. Our daughter is healthy and secure."  
  
"Daughter?" He took her face in his hands and kissed her soundly. "We are having a daughter?"  
  
"I hope that's okay," she giggled wiping the tears that had begun to run down his face.  
  
"Okay? It's brilliant!" He hugged her tightly, then held her at arms length, then hugged her again.  
  
"Remus, the healer told me it was safe to have 'relations' with my husband," she said suggestively.  
  
He grinned at her. It had been several weeks since she had responded to his advances. "I was beginning to think you had grown tired of our love making."  
  
"Never. I just wanted everything to be sure, just in case. Now that I know," she said mischievously, "I am finding myself hungering for my husband." She nipped his neck, running a hand down to cup his crotch.  
  
"Vixen," he growled, kissing her passionately as he swept her off her feet and carried her upstairs, thanking fate for that night so long ago when she had only wanted to offer comfort to him.  
  
The End.  
  
AN/ I wish I could thank each and every reviewer individually. You have made my days. Thanks to AprilGrey once more for betaing and for being a great muse. God Bless. 


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